Sister Sarah's Higher Calling

Sarah Palin has revealed that the reason she resigned is to pursue a "higher calling." I feel safe in assuming she is not taking a vow of chastity, becoming a nun, and opening a hospice in Sierra Leone. So, what might be her higher calling?

I'm gonna be a celebrity
That means
Somebody everyone knows.
They're gonna recognize my eyes,
My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose.
~ Roxie Hart, Chicago

And even her toes.

Why Sarah, Why?

So, I'm writing about boring old Goldman Sachs and missed the breaking news of the month - Sarah Palin is resigning as Governor of Alaska with 17 months left to serve.

While there is good in this, that media whore Mark Sanford is going to have to start parading around dressed like Bruno to get his sexual dalliances noticed now, this is mostly just horrible. What am I going to do for laughs? What about poor Tina Fey? What is certain is she did not discuss this with her aides. That leave the big unanswered question, why?

• Republican fans claim she is setting herself up for a run for the presidency. That is silly. Sanford goes AWOL for a week and a majority of his state want him fired. Palin goes AWOL for a full third of her only term in office and she won't be accepted as a serious candidate for anything. Only possible if Palin is a political imbicile.
  
• She's taking a job on FOX News. Sarah has a limited remaining shelf-life as a sex symbol, maybe only five years before there is not enough make-up to hide the wrinkles and she turns from MILF to aged Cougar. She has decided to chase the money while she is still young enough to be a golddigger. I think very likely.
  
• There is a major scandal about to break. This is the speculation at Firedoglake. People as greedy and narcissistic as both Sarah and Todd Palin are only a forged check or an undone zipper away from scandal. Sarah has been traveling alot which is an open invitation for either one to make a booty call. There is a very good chance of this.
  
• Sarah's preggers. Which would not be a scandal unless Todd isn't the father. Then there is the question of Bristol's or, God helps us, Willow's fertility. They are both at a dangerous age to be mostly unsupervised which they mostly have been. I doubt it and I hope not.
• She is tired of the rough and tumble world of politics. She just up and QUIT! This is Andrea Mitchell's speculation. If so, it would certainly confirm what we all were saying about her not being ready for the big fish tank and we should all thank God she never made it to Washington. But, "I'm resigning to spend more time with my family" is such a cliche and is never, ever, the reason why someone resigns. I doubt it.
  

I say she has already signed a contract with Murdock and that is why the hurried resignation. I predict she will be taking Bill O'Reilly's primetime spot by August 10.

Masters of Evil

If only half of what Matt Taibbi writes in Rolling Stone is true, than Goldman Sachs is every great global conspiracy theory combined, with offices in New Jersey. They are the rumored Illuminati made flesh. They employ Fu Manchu, Professor Moriarty, and Ernest Blofeld in middle management positions. Hanibal Lecter is the corporate caterer. I wouldn't be surprised if you look at Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein with unprotected eyes you will instantly turn both blind and insane.

I've commented before about Goldman Sachs and continue to believe that company is a great threat to President Obama. I've calling them devils and I do believe that Goldman Sachs is a criminal cancer with grasping invasive tentacles in the governments of every major economic nation on Earth, most especially the United States Treasury Department. Goldman Sachs in not above the law, they are the law. When it comes to investment banking Goldman Sachs controls both the writing and enforcement of the law.

As conspiracy theories go, this has something for everyone. For radical conservatives it allows them to indulge their Jewish Conspiracy worldview without being obviously anti-Semitic. Radical liberals (like me) see it falling neatly into our belief that unbridled capitalism allows criminals to rule.

A few more links: More Matt Taibbi, Goldman Sachs Responds, Eight Cases for a Goldman Conspiracy, a Manifesto titled "Goldman Sachs: The Real Conspiracy - Looking Behind The Curtain."

The Usual Disclaimer: Goldman Sachs attorneys need be aware that I continue to worship at the altar I have built to your company. Just last night I sacrificed an unwilling virgin (see photo below). By the way, do you know just how hard it is to find virgins these days? So, cut me a little slack, will ya Beelzebub?

Suffer (Starve) the Little Children

Cynthia Davis (R) of the Missouri state legislature is Chair of the Committee on Poverty and the Committee on Children and Family. As such, she opposes the state's efforts to help feed poor children. As she says, "Hunger can be a positive motivator."

As the photo at right proves, Davis is herself an evil mother who feeds her own children on (gasp) pizza, thus depriving them of the motivation they need to go out and forage for themselves. Shouldn't every child know that rats taste like chicken? There are even reports that she steals food from lobbyists to feed her lazy, unproductive offspring.

Even with such poor mothering skills at least one of Davis' children is growing up right (if she grows up at all). A couple of years ago, on Easter Sunday, one of Davis' younger daughters was found wandering alone along Highway K, obviously scrounging the gutters for her Easter supper as Jesus intended.

Predictably, Democrats with their radical Feed the Children agenda, have attacked Davis. But, Think Progress goes too far in actually extensively using direct quotes from Davis.

Fortunately, one voice has stood up to defend Davis, The ever brilliant Stephen Colbert.

Random Thoughts

Sister Sarah is the gift that keeps on giving
Republicans are continuing to bitch slap each other silly over Sarah Palin. It's a better spectator sport than tennis.

Because she is such a MILF
"Featuring some pretty hot pics scattered throughout the article." How Conservative Grapevine (July 1) described an article about Palin in Runner's World.

Conservatives Love Bin Laden
Conservatives have been reduced to hoping and praying that Osama Bin Laden will blow up a major American city. Listen to them and you can hear the pain in their voices as they worry that Americans won't be slaughtered...

’Cause wishin’’ and hopin’’ and thinkin’’ and prayin’’
Planning and dreamin’ his kisses will start.
That won’t get you into his heart! ~ Dusty Springfield

Sanford's Sexual Lemonade Stand

This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day. ~ Mark Sanford

Why do I get the feeling that Sanford has started juicing up his Argentine paramour story because he is trying to sell it as a Lifetime movie?

White Folk Empathy

I think I'm beginning to understand Republicans. Empathy is bad if it is held by a olive-skinned woman judge. Empathy is good if it is held by a white-skinned male judge.

I have always thought the Ricci case was a close call where empathy suggests to overturn the ruling in favor of Frank Ricci, a dyslexic firefighter who has overcome his handicap, while a cold, dispassionate reading of the law would support the city of New Haven. The Supreme Court decision (I'm thinking I have too much time on my hands) and especially Alito's concurring opinion (way too much time) is light on the law and heavy on empathy for the white firefighters denied promotions.

I don't mind the SCOTUS ruling on Ricci, I'd just like more consistency on empathy from the conservative justices.

Power Corrupts

President Obama has fully settled into the office. The promise to close Gitmo was just empty words; he has now committed to keeping that hellhole open permanently. He has resurrected the illegal military tribunals for captive prisoners of war. He has discovered the "signing statement" that allows him to simply ignore any law he doesn't like. What happened to the concept of the veto? Authorizing torture can't be far away now.

President Obama is in the process of Bushifying himself.

Justice Pubic Hair Dissents

Why am I not surprised that Clarence Thomas sees nothing wrong with stripping a 13 year-old girl down to her nubile flesh to search for Ibuprofen?

While there are no good, juicy quotes in Thomas' 22-page dissent (yeah, I read that piece of shit) it is easy to see that Thomas would not only approve of school adults searching the underwear of young girls he would, by the content and logic of his arguments, also approve of full cavity searches of students as well.

Judging from the length of Thomas' dissent, which is almost twice as long as the opinion it is responding to, I feel certain that he spent many nights contemplating this case, picturing the various searches he would allow, seeing in his mind's eye all these budding young women standing in shy nudity for inspection, perhaps even imagining these girls bending over for finger searches of their vaginas. I am certain that Thomas found repeated satisfaction and relief in considering this case.

I'm curious. Did he ask to see pictures?

When I Disappear I Always Go to Argentina

As lies go, Mark Sanford's is an unbelievable whopper. He disappears for days telling no one, not even his wife, where he was going. Upon returning he claims he had a nice, long, relaxing drive on a Argentina coastal road that is only two miles long. Yeah, right.

I will grant Mark this much, Buenos Aires women are rated the third most beautiful in the world. And, it would be nearly impossible to discover exactly whom he had his liaisons with. When a politician needs to "relax," Argentina seems an ideal choice for a secret getaway.

An Additional Thought: If you think about it, the most embarrassing part about Mark Sanford scooting off to Argentina for some off-the-radar boning is how badly he covered it up. Here is a trained, life-long politician, a man bred to the bone with the ability to lie with a disarming smile, and he couldn't fabricate a better cover story than that. His cover fell apart faster than a Korean missile. Lesson: if you can't keep an affair in Argentina under wraps you are not qualified to manage a Burger King.

Where Iran Goes From Here

Now that hob-nailed boots repression has stifled, although not ended, the street protests there are three paths that Iran can head down.

The Constitutional Alternative
The Assembly of Experts overturns the obviously fraudulent election and deposes both Ahmadinejad and Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Within Iran's constitutional hierarchy the Assembly of Experts is above Guardian Council which has already certified the stolen election. I don't hold out high hopes for this alternative.

The Pinochet Alternative
Backed by the army and the Basij militia, Ahmadinejad engages in a Reign of Terror to solidify his hold on power. While some people are murdered on the streets many thousands more simply disappear into torture chambers or shallow graves.

The Gdansk Alternative
The protests move from the streets to the economy. Strikes, worker slowdowns, sabotage, and foreign boycotts brings Iran's government to its knees. Faced with having to kill a third of its population to maintain order, the government capitulates to the public.

I don't know Iran well enough to lay odds on any particular outcome. My guts says that Ahmadinejad is willing to go the route of mass murder and willing to turn his entire country into a massive Abu Ghraib prison.

Where in the World Was Mark Sanford?

The governor of South Carolina went AWOL for four days last week. No one, not his security detail, not his aides, not the lieutenant governor, not even Sanford's wife knew where he had gone or what had happened to him.

As Darlene Ensign can testify, when a middle-aged Republican politician (Sen. John Ensign is 50, Mark Sanford is 48) goes walkabout it is usually for a Side Project with his blond* Relaxation Assistant. Sanford's wife is not concerned, meaning he has disappeared like this before. The official reason given is he's "taking time to recharge" which pretty much admits he's with a bikini-clad Relaxation Assistant.

*Republicans usually screw blonds; Democrats prefer brunettes.

The Devil Gets His Dues

Goldman Sachs' manipulation of the TARP has paid off big. Employees can expect the largest bonuses in company history as the company has accumulated massive profits from the global economic collapse. It's sweet to work at a company which has the entire United States Treasury Department in its back pocket.

See also Bargaining With the Devils at Goldman. Hat tip to Booman Tribune.

Standard Disclaimer to Goldman Sachs lawyers: I love Goldman Sachs and worship nightly at an altar (seen below) to its greatness. Please don't sue me.

The Great Satan

The slaughter of innocents has begun in Iran, massacred by their own government. Ahmadinejad may go down in history with Pol Pot as a mass murderer of his own people.

The world weeps.

Stupid Lawyer

I don't want a future vice president to say, 'I'm not going to cooperate with you because I don't want to be fodder for 'The Daily Show.' ~ Justice Dept. lawyer Jeffrey Smith

I don't have any proof, mind you, but judging from the extreme silliness of the above argument presented to a federal judge in open court I'm guessing that Jeffrey Smith is one of those Bush hires to the civil service.

You know, one of those gapped-toothed Monica Gooding yahoos with a freshly minted law degree from a conservative Christian diploma mill like Regents University. From the above evidence, my guess is that Smith's legal education didn't extend much past Leviticus.

Probably not Jeffrey Smith (r).

Innocence Is No Defense

The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that innocent people convicted and imprisoned by the state have no right to new technology that proves their innocence. Chief Justice Roberts opined that, more important than actual guilt or innocence, is to not "unnecessarily overthrowing the established system of criminal justice." This is what an absence of empathy gets us.

Roberts, in his opinion, refers to the notorious Herrera v. Collins case of 1993. In that case the usual suspects (Scalia and Thomas) found that it was constitutional for Texas to execute an innocent man as long as he was properly convicted.

There is no basis in text, tradition, or even in contemporary practice (if that were enough), for finding in the Constitution a right to demand judicial consideration of newly discovered evidence of innocence brought forward after conviction. ~ A. Scalia

In both cases the Supreme Court's conservative majority has found that the State's goal of maintaining a smoothly running conviction mill is more important than an innocent man's right to freedom.

The Fly

When I first read that PETA was upset over President Obama killing a fly on national television I thought it was a hoax, an Onion headline that got swallowed by a gullible MSM editor. It looks like I was wrong.

When it comes to the sanctity of all life I am probably more respectful than most. If a praying mantis or ladybug is lost inside my home I will carefully catch it and release it back outside. I have to be in a very bitter mood to drown a spider trapped in my bathtub. Usually I help it to get out before I turn on the water. I'm a lousy golfer in large part because I reflexively flinch at cutting a divot because I don't want to scar the Earth.

But even I have my limits. If a mosquito lands on me for a few drops of my blood I'll slap her dead without a second thought. I don't care if she is just trying to feed her children. She can feed off a horse or a pig, but my arm is verboten. I see a cockroach I kill said cockroach. No qualms.

Ants can have their run outside and I won't bother them. But, if one crosses my threshold I execute it. You can't negotiate with ants over appropriate spheres of influence. They just won't listen. I wouldn't mind rats so much except they pee and poop over everything, carry fleas, and track in all sorts of diseases.

Which leads to an entire class of animals that my body is hostile to without even asking my permission. An invading colony of bacteria is certain to face full scale war from my immune system without even considering the social/ethical ramifications of that war.

All this leads to flies. Flies serve a function in the grand scheme of life. They are nature's garbagemen, dealing neatly with excrement and rotting flesh and flora. Without flies we would be up to our ears in shit and carrion. However, none of that can be found inside my house. A fly indoors faces starvation, which is a sad fate even for a fly. The best they can hope for is being a dessicated corpse on some windowsill. They should think of me and my flyswatter as a humanitarian putting them out of their misery.

PETA serves a useful function that is undermined when they defend the right of a fly to buzz the President. Note to PETA: The Katcha Bug is completely useless for capturing a house fly; it is only good for catching crawling insects.

Twitter and Rebellion

A few weeks ago my brother and I were sharing our disdain for and the utter uselessness of Twitter. I'm thinking we were wrong. The Iranian Rebellion would be impossible without Twitter and the conservative mullahs would have to shut down the nation's entire communications network, plunging Iran deeply into the 18th century, to silence the revolt.

Iran's Green Revolution has the feel of the 1979 Revolution. It is deeply patriotic, that is why any attempt at Western support would backfire. Students and the young, bridling under an increasingly repressive and aged regime, are striking out. As has happened so often in history, the Iranian mullahs have become exactly like the Shah they replaced.

They have made an Iran where the young have no voice and no hope. Iran's rapidly declining fertility rate (5.5 children per woman in the year 1988, 2.2 in 2000, and 1.71 in 2008) is a sign of how hopeless young adults feel.

Ahmadinejad can only keep power now if he engages in the mass murder of his own people because a little repression will not work this time. I believe Ahmadinejad is capable of butchering a few hundred thousand Iranians. The only remaining question is whether the the mullahs will sanction the wholesale slaughter of their own citizens.

Stay Out of Iran

One thing that will certainly crush the youth rebellion in Iran is if the United States attacks Iran. Bomb Iranian nuclear facilities and all of the patriotism that is being invested in opposing their stolen election will be refocused against the foreign invaders.

The only exception is if the Revolutionary Guard begins the mass slaughter of Iranians. Then, and only then, can the United States intervene. Not a few hundred deaths, only tens of thousands being killed can justify American intervention.

At no point can Israel act. Any military action by Israel can only insure that Ahmadinejad will be given total control of Iran and unconditional support.

Slavery and Republican Revisionist History

Holocaust deniers are not alone in their fantasy histories. Republicans trying to rekindle talk of secession are redefining the American Civil War to claim that the South seceded in 1861 for "States Rights" and slavery wasn't the reason.

The Revisionist History Claim
According to the Revisionists, the South was simply exerting their freedom from Northern oppression. It was State's Rights, not slavery. Douglas Harper, published here in the Old Virginia Blog, tries a scholarly approach. Hidden behind endless hemming and hawing, Harper states that the Civil War was really caused by the Morrill Tariff. He minimizes slavery as an issue. Harper is answered well by M. Lynch in Past in the Present.

But the Southern confederacy -- that is, the national government of the CSA -- was no more built on slavery than was the Northern Union. ~ Douglas Harper

The revisionists know they have to address slavery. Pat Buchanan claims slavery was really a good thing.

First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known....Where is the gratitude? ~ A Brief for Whitey, March 2008

Others make the unsupported by any facts whatsoever claim that the South would have ended slavery itself if the Northern bullies had only left them alone.

Slavery could have been ended within the Confederacy, as it had been throughout most of the Western world by that time. In fact, some have pointed out that if Lincoln had let the Southern states succeed (sic), slavery would have ended rather quickly, as there would no longer have been any voice in Congress to support the fugitive slave laws, and the border states would have become sieves for runaway slaves seeking freedom. ~ Midwest Catholic Dad

To finish the current argument that secession is good, secession is right, the revisionists have to attack Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln, they say, was a horrible president, a tyrant, kind of like Aldolf Hitler.

None of This Is New
Interestingly, the current crop of pro-secessionist Republicans are simply repeating the excuses that ex-Confederates gave in the 19th century. Called the Lost Cause Religion, it was created by General Jubal Early after the Civil War and had all the components of the current crop of pro-secessionists.

The first is political, insisting that the cause of the war was not slavery but the oppressive power of the central government, which longed to tyrannize over the Southern states. The South desired merely to exercise its constitutional right to secede, but was thwarted by a power-hungry Lincoln. ~ The Lost Cause in Retreat

Like their 19th century predecessors, current secessionists believe in States Rights except when they don't. When Northern states used their sovereign right to ignore the Fugitive Slave Act, Southern States Righters were outraged.

In many of these [Northern] States the fugitive [slave] is discharged from service or labor claimed, and in none of them has the State Government complied with the stipulation made in the Constitution. ~ Christopher Gustavus Memminger of South Carolina, December 1860

When Blue States legalize gay marriage, Republican States Righters want the Federal Government to step in.

Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman. ~ Proposed amendment to the United States Constitution

The Truth
In 1860-61, in speech after speech, Southerns placed the reason for secession squarely on preserving slavery.

The day is now come, and Alabama must make her selection, either to secede from the Union, and assume the position of a sovereign, independent State, or she must submit to a system of policy on the part of the Federal Government that, in a short time, will compel her to abolish African Slavery. ~ E.S. Dargan, Alabama, January 1861
[Our government] foundations are laid, its cornerstone rests upon the great truth, that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery -- subordination to the superior race -- is his natural and normal condition. ~ Alexander Stephens, Vice- President of the Confederate States of America, the Cornerstone Speech, Georgia, March 1861
The systematic, wanton, and long continued agitation of the slavery question, with the actual and threatened aggressions of the Northern States and a portion of their people, upon the well-defined constitutional rights of the Southern citizen; the rapid growth and increase, in all the elements of power, of a purely sectional party, whose bond of union is uncompromising hostility to the rights and institutions of the fifteen Southern States, have produced a crisis in the affairs of the country. ~ Governor Isham Harris, Tennessee, January 1861

I could go on. And don't think for a second that race hatred and this country having an African-American president isn't an unspoken part of the modern secessionist movement.

Civil rights legislation was just the beginning of the government’s involvement in the management of our personal property. ~ State Secession and the Coming Civil War, April 27, 2009

States Rights was a codeword for racism in 1861. It was a codeword for racism when used by Jubal Early in the 1870's. It was a codeword for racism when Ronald Reagan used it in the 1970's. It is a codeword for racism today. White racists, mostly but not exclusively Southern, see their last, faint hope for a return to the good old days ending and they want out.

The return to States Rights and secession is the last gasp of an old philosophy. It is a wish for a country where Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics can be kept in a lower caste. It is a secret longing for a day when Nathan Bedford Forrest can again be called a hero.

Letterman and Palin

There is a story, probably apocryphal, that an art dealer in Boston in the 1880's was overstocked with prints of a rather poor nude painting that he couldn't sell. Reading in the paper that the great moralist and censor Anthony Comstock was delivering a lecture in town gave the art dealer an idea.

The art dealer wrote an anonymous letter to Comstock complaining about how a lewd painting at his gallery was corrupting the youth. The dealer then paid a dozen street urchins four bits each to gather in front of his gallery window where the print was on display. Comstock saw the children and publicly denounced the gallery and the painting, by name, in his lecture that evening. The art dealer sold all of the prints of that painting by noon the next day.

Republicans are calling on CBS to fire David Letterman. The controversy will certainly result in a ratings bonanza for Letterman's show. Unless CBS execs have spines of jelly, if they can let this play out, it will be the best thing to happen to Letterman's show since his Madonna interview.

Domestic Terrorism - Part 2

Don't even try to convince me that Radical Religious Republicans are not actively supporting the terrorist acts we've seen in recent weeks.

Radio Pastor Prays for Death of President Obama

This cracker, Wiley Drake, is a leader of the Southern Baptist Convention. He has made a habit of calling for death to Americans. He is claiming credit for the murder of George Tiller.

Domestic Terrorism

In April when a Department of Homeland Security memo mentioned the rising threat of rightwing extremist violence non-terrorist (I assume) rightwing bloggers were aflame with rage and stood in solidarity with their more bloodthirsty colleagues on the right. How dare the government be interested in even the seamiest parts of their political spectrum. Firedoglake noticed the strangeness of it at the time. Crooks & Liars reviews rightwinger outrage.

Rightwing extremism in the United States can be broadly divided into those groups, movements, and adherents that are primarily hate-oriented (based on hatred of particular religious, racial or ethnic groups), and those that are mainly anti-government, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, or rejecting government authority entirely. It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration. ~ From the DHS memo

Now that rightwing terrorists have begun killing Americans using the gun rights they defend and in support of the politics they expound those very same bloggers are outraged anyone would associate them with the violence.

Rightwing media voices (Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly) have been and continue inflaming their listeners with siege and war rhetoric. Now there is blood in the water we can anticipate more. More of both rhetoric and bloodshed. There are more Timothy McVeighs out there than Osama bin Ladens.

Why We Need Three Parties

The Virginia Democratic gubernatorial primary is the best argument why a vibrant democracy needs at least three viable political parties. Huh? Take a look at this chart.

When the campaign began Terry McAuliffe had the most money, Brian Moran had more active supporters, and Creigh Deeds was the hopeless doormat. Following the traditional political consultant blueprint McAuliffe and Moran proceeded to smear each other with about 11 million tons of shit. By election day the two candidates had managed to convince the electorate that the two most despicable humans on the face of the Earth were Brian Moran and Terry McAuliffe. Deeds won in a walk.

Modern campaign consultants view elections as a blood sport - sort of like mixed martial arts fighting but with fewer rules. And, they have been vindicated because in head-to-head elections the most ruthless mudslinger generally is the winner. Adding a third viable candidate to the mix changes the dynamics. In a three-way race, mudslinging doesn't work.

Lots of mud blows back on a slinger. In a heads-up race that doesn't much matter because the opponent still comes out covered with more slime. With three candidates the one who manages to keep his hands clean look pretty damn sweet by comparison.

If we had three, or more, viable political parties campaigns would necessarily become far more civil and more focused on the issues. Let's be honest, casually glancing at the election issues would be an improvement. It doesn't mean my side will always win but the more intelligent campaign will have an advantage over the more vicious campaign.

In Virginia, on policies, I preferred either Moran or McAuliffe to Deeds. But both of them ran stupidly injurious campaigns and deserved to lose.

CIA Stink Cannot Be Hidden

Leon Panetta has totally become Jack Bauer's bitch.

CIA interrogators tortured their prisoners and these tortures were far worse than anything revealed at Gitmo or Abu Ghraib. That is the certain conclusion that can be reached by Panetta's statement that releasing CIA interrogation evidence would result in "exceptionally grave damage to the national security" and give al-Qaeda "propaganda it could use to recruit and raise funds."

If the CIA interrogations were less sever than waterboarding or the Abu Ghraib photos revealing it would result in nothing. Indeed, it would go a long way to proving that the United States is no longer the outlaw nation it was under Bush/Cheney. The only reason to keep this information hidden is that the CIA interrogations were orders of magnitude worse than anything we have seen before. The only reasons to hide this are:

• It would show that Abu Ghraib was standard operating procedure.
• John Yoo's torture memos were routinely exceeded.
  
• The evidence would show the rape of men, women, and childern.
• Electronic torture was used.
• There is clear evidence that people were tortured to death.

The "national security" dodge is ludicrous here. We are not talking about nuclear weapons codes or troop movements. These are techniques which, we are told, are no longer being used. There can be no possible damage to national security from revealing the truth here.

Unless the truth is so outrageous that the American people would vomit in their oatmeal if they knew and the truth would threaten to tear the nation apart.
Unless the truth is so vile that the world will demand war crimes trials for every American involved from President Bush to the lowliest CIA gang rapist.

Leon Panetta is revealing more by hiding the truth than he realizes. If President Obama agrees with Panetta then Obama is much less of a man than I thought him to be.

In a Democracy the people have an absolute right to know what has been done in their name.

Addendum: There is one other possibility. The CIA has made a credible threat to assassinate President Obama if evidence of their interrogation tortures are released.

Can Justice Be Bought?

Sometimes it hard for a rational human to understand what conservatives define as "right" and "wrong." Take, for example, the case of Caperton v. Massey Coal. Bribing a judge is wrong; buying a judge outright is legitimate commerce.

Any fair analysis of the election of West Virginia Supreme Court Justice Brent Benjamin would conclude that the CEO of Massey Coal, Don Blankenship, bought himself a judge. The purchase was perfectly legal. Blankenship spent over $3 million dollars in donations and independent expenditures to elect Benjamin. This easily eclipsed what everyone else spent or donated on the race, on all of the judicial candidates combined, including Benjamin. It is fair to describe Massey Coal as the majority shareholder of Justice Benjamin.

Benjamin repaid Massey Coal by refusing to recuse himself and leading his court to overturn a $50 million judgment against Massey Coal.

On a 5-4 vote the United States Supreme Court overturned the West Virginia case.

We conclude that there is a serious risk of actual bias—based on objective and reasonable perceptions—when a person with a personal stake in a particular case had a significant and disproportionate influence in placing the judge on the case by raising funds or directing the judge’s election campaign when the case was pending or imminent. ~ Justice Kennedy, Caperton v. Massey Coal

Now, we get to the dissent. Chief Justice Roberts in an opinion shared by Alito, Thomas, and Scalia stated that even if there was bias, even if Justice Benjamin was a bought and paid for toady, that is no reason to overturn an otherwise perfectly legal judgment. It is tough to read through one of Roberts opinions because they are void of legal reference and chockablock full of ad hominem arguments, including his conclusion that Benjamin would have won the election without Massey's $3 million.

Basically, Roberts said that because they can't draw a hard line between buying a judge and merely renting one interfering in this case can only besmirch the rulings of judges who lease out their opinions from time to time.

I am sure there are cases where a “probability of bias” should lead the prudent judge to step aside, but the judge fails to do so. Maybe this is one of them. But I believe that opening the door to recusal claims under the Due Process Clause, for an amorphous “probability of bias,” will itself bring our judicial system into undeserved disrepute, and diminish the confidence of the American people in the fairness and integrity of their courts. ~ Justice Roberts, Ibid.

Who Is More Upset?

Who is more pissing in his twisted knickers, foaming at the mouth angry at this headline, Obama Receives Standing Ovation in Cairo, Osama bin Laden or Rush Limbaugh?

Vanishing Seas

If you don't believe that global climate change is real, explain this video.

The Aral Sea was once the fourth largest saline lake on earth. As late as 1960 it was larger than Lake Huron and supported a vibrant fishing industry. Today, it is a handful of puddles that are, combined, less than one-tenth its former size.
An entire fleet of modern fishing boats rests stranded on its salty dunes. Even if they could be floated the remaining water is so salty that most of the remaining lakes are dead. Winds blowing across the dry salt flats kick up poisonous dust storms.

Want fresh water? Try Lake Chad. As large as Lake Erie in 1960, it is now the size of Lake Champlain. Shallow, with an average depth of less than five feet, by volume there is less water in Lake Chad than Roosevelt Lake behind the Grand Coulee Dam.

"Yeah, but," you say, "them is foreign countries. The Good Ole USA is just fine." For you, I have the Ogallala Aquifer. A huge underground lake that ranges from South Dakota to Texas, it held over 3 billion acre-feet of water before we began seriously tapping it in the 1950's. That's 100 times the capacity of Lake Mead. It supplies water and irrigation for the citizens of eight states.

So much water is being drawn from the aquifer that the groundwater levels are dropping as much as five feet a year. It would take 6,000 years for the aquifer to refill if fully drained. It is being drained at the rate of 18 Colorado Rivers a year. Billionaire T. Boone Pickens plans to accelerate that draw down by pumping water to sell to Texas cities like Dallas.

It may take 25 years, it may take 50 years, farmers hope they can conserve enough water to make the aquifer's life stretch for 125 years. Cut those numbers if Picken's plan takes off. But, the aquifer is doomed. It is only a matter of time before the greatest underground reservoir in the United States is dry. And America's great agricultural heartland will dry up with it.

The Wichita Murder

There is little to add that has not already been written by my betters. We have a Christian jihadist from an active domestic terror cell motivated by the blood hatred that is taught as religion. Mainstream conservatives have condemned the murder and in their next breath said that the victim deserved to die.

I expect more such terrorist attacks against doctors, politicians, and judges. There will be more attacks against apostate (liberal) churches. And as terrorists prefer to attack soft targets, I expect more attacks against innocents perceived as gay or atheist or Democrats or unsubservient women. And as is normal for terrorists, they will call their terrorist killings self-defense.

Facing the CIA's Dark Soul

The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it too much. ~ Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness

The sunlight is harsh. It is hard to face the evil you do in the darkness where you are told you can do anything. Such people rebel when told they must step into the light so their deeds may be seen by the world.

The CIA's blackest agents, the National Clandestine Service, hidden as they are in the heart of darkness, are terrified by the prospects that their actions will become known. Revealing the truth will hurt their morale, we are told. What was secret must remain secret lest we hurt their feelings.

This is not for your eyes. ~ Pinhead, Hellraiser 1987

Although not all intelligence professionals are afraid of the light. Many, I dare say most, support the Veteran Intelligence Professionals for Sanity in their efforts to have Bush Administration torture policies investigated. They realize that it is only the criminals and the psychopaths who fear the truth.

Digby has an interesting history of the CIA.
USAToday has a debate between Cal Thomas and Bob Beckel

Platform Nation: an Old Idea

It seems the latest thing in "going Galt" is building your own autonomous nation on a platform in the ocean. It was done in the 1960's; it was a joke then and it is a joke now.
A British radio broadcaster who calls himself Prince Roy Bates founded the Principality of Sealand (the whole of the country is above) on an abandoned World War II anti-aircraft platform in the English Channel. The handful of people living on that platform earn a modest income from selling novelty postage stamps and coins.

It's not nearly as romantic as the seasteaders claim but I do want to encourage the movement as it will rid the land of a few certifiable loons.

Cookie Torture

Dick Cheney must be vomiting in his oatmeal this morning. Finally we have discovered an effective interrogation technique that certainly must disgust him. It seems it was productive with al-Qaeda prisoners during questioning if they were occasionally offered cookies.

Betcha Cheney is going to have to look at his private collection of pictures of prisoners being ass raped to cope with the news.

None Dare Call It Treason

Actually, that is exactly what radical conservatives are saying about moderate Republicans.

Treason used to be a term for someone who betrays his country. It is a sign of the sickness of the modern Republican Party that radical conservatives confuse loyalty to party with loyalty to country; that one cannot be a loyal American without also being a loyal Republican.

I have seen this trend growing for several years. Republicans demanding loyalty oaths to party to vote and pledging allegiance to the party flag instead of the nation's flag. But, now that they are out of power this trend has become an infection. The radicals are now demanding a purity of Republicanism to the faith of St. Ronald that has become a perversion of Ronald Reagan's own political philosophies. To these radicals even George W. Bush was a squishy RINO, a traitor to the party.

In history, there have been several political movements that have placed party ahead of nation - the Communist Parties of various nations, the National Socialists (Nazis), the Fascist parties of Italy and Spain, the Ba'ath Parties of Syria and Iraq, Argentina's Peronistas. Always, such parties are a threat to the nation. Because they place party ideology ahead of national interests, once they gain power they are quick to ban opposition parties. Laws that prevent ideological purification are brushed aside. Independent thought is crushed.

Right now, Radical Republicans are uncertain how to win power. Some contemplate civil war under the code word "secession," the path followed by Russia, China, and Spain. Some hope to win at the ballot box like the German Nazis, Italy's Fascists, and Juan Peron. For two years Thomas Sowell has mused about a Republican military coup like how the Ba'ath Parties achieved power.

When I see the worsening degeneracy in our politicians, our media, our educators, and our intelligentsia, I can’t help wondering if the day may yet come when the only thing that can save this country is a military coup. ~ Thomas Sowell, 2007

The coward Sean Hannity actually polled the question "What kind of revolution most appeals to you - military coup, armed rebellion, war of secession?"

The only reassuring fact is the Radical Republicanism is leaderless. If a charismatic leader should arise we are in big trouble.

California Supreme Court Cuts Baby In Half

In the same breath the California Supreme Court said that gay marriage is illegal (upheld Prop. 8) and also legal (ruled that the 18,000 existing gay marriages are valid).

It's an absurd ruling and purely political. It spits in the face of any concept of equal protection (These two people can remain married while those two can never marry because they missed some arbitrary deadline). The justices are trying to anger as few people as possible.

What the Court said is that gays have the right to be married (hence existing marriages are legal) but that voters have the ability to block that right (future marriages are illegal). By this legal logic if voters tomorrow passed an initiative to legalize slavery the California Supreme Court would have to rule that people already living in the state are free but any future slaves brought into the state are soulless property.

Move the Gitmo Prisoners Now

If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well
It were done quickly ~ Shakespeare, MacBeth

In politics it is better to do distasteful things quickly so people have a change to forget why they didn't like it. It is best to move the Gitmo prisoners this year into a red state, say the federal maximum security pen in Beaumont, Texas. By 2012, Texas voters will be glad for the extra employment and upset at any talk of removing the prisoners.

Clear and Elegant Truth

While I hate blogs that just say "me too" I have to give it up to Booman Tribune.

In a single posting Booman answered Dick Cheney, Charles Krauthammer, and all the enhanced interrogation advocates. The money quote is:

Hitler wanted to jettison the Geneva conventions because our adherence to them was costing him dearly. It seems like quite a small step for someone who was operating death camps at the time. But he was talked out of it. Even Hitler didn't revoke the Geneva Conventions. But Cheney and Bush did. And they're proud of it. ~ Booman Tribune

Terrorist Recidivism

Dick Cheney, distraught that imprisoned men no longer scream in agony at the mention of His name, is on a crusade to bring back righteous torture. One weapon in his quiver is a statistic quoted in the New York Times that one out of seven released from Gitmo has returned to terrorism. Cheney uses that stat to content that the prisoners were treated too humanly.

we learned yesterday, many were treated too leniently, because 1 in 7 cut a straight path back to their prior line of work ~ Dick Cheney speech May 21, 2009

The recidivism rate for regular prisons in the United States is 67%; the Gitmo rate is a meager 14%. That could mean that torturous treatment chased hundreds away from their previous employment.

More likely, it means that of the 534 suspects held and interrogated at Gitmo and subsequently released only about 150 were actually terrorists. The remaining nearly 400 were innocents who had no terrorist careers to return to and merely wanted to return to peaceful lives and try to forget the horror of their American captivity.

Taliban Uses American Arms

It has ever been thus, guerrilla forces get their arms from the forces they are fighting against. Buying, bartering for drugs, and stealing are the logistical basics for guerrilla war. There will always be underpaid colonial troops willing to sell their rifles to feed their children. As for the scared, sleepless occupation grunts, the allure of raw opium and the numb oblivion it provides is a welcome relief in exchange for a little ammo.

I am not surprised that the Pentagon is uninterested in tracing the source of the Taliban's weapons. They desperately don't want to know - it's Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

They Are Missing the Agonized Cries Already

So, the CIA is whining about having to live under the common decency restraints of the Army Field Manual interrogation rules. Already they want access to the old ways.

The one example they give of a technique they want back, the "attention grasp" (grasping someone by the collar with both hands) is useless without "walling" (slamming the prisoner, once attention grabbed) against the wall.

The CIA is also whining that the Army Field Manual is, at the same time, too vague and too restrictive. The Manual is too restrictive because it doesn't allow physical contact. It is too vague because it doesn't mention attack dogs at all.

The truth is the CIA wants to go back to the good old days when just about any torture they wanted was available to demonstrate the wrath of the Christian God. I'm sorry, to interrogate high value targets.

The God of War

Therefore take unto you the armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and to stand in all things perfect. ~ Ephesians 6:13

Donald Rumsfeld never struck me as a sky pilot. Incompetent, yes; senile, probably. But, I didn't guess he was a religious fanatic. I was wrong. GQ has revealed that Rumsfeld's intelligence briefings were ablaze with Crusader imagery and biblical quotations. These reports were ultra-top secret technical briefings, absolutely no place for cartoonish photos and devotional text. These briefings should have a plain, "just the facts ma'am" approach.

Part of this, I am certain, is that George Bush wouldn't look at anything that didn't have pretty pictures on the cover and didn't start with a scriptual reading. But most of it is caused by the insanity of the Bush years. We had a president who believed he was annointed by God, a military that believed they were tasked with paving the way for Armageddon, and a vice-president who could only achieve sexual climax while listening to the screams of torture victims.

It is truly a wonder we all survived.

Pelosi and Torture

I've stayed away from the whole question of how much Nancy Pelosi knew about US torture practices and when did she know it. It is all a tempest in a teapot. What did the CIA tell Congress about how we torture? Hell, I know what the briefings sounded like without even attending.

• Briefings such as this are filled with technobabble - call it spookspeak - designed to make it sound like English while conveying as little information as possible. Euphemisms abounded. Remember, "waterboarding" is just a euphemism for "water torture."
  
• Everything was canted to make the CIA sound heroic and competent. Mistakes were glossed over and failures forgotten altogether.
• No sentence began, "You will find this disturbing, but...." The "T" word was never used, neither was the "S" word (suffer) and definitely not the "D" word (death). Every effort was made to have the briefings sound innocent. It was made all kind of Sesame Streetish.

The final thing to remember is that Congressmen are constrained from revealing anything they glean from CIA briefings. The briefing could contain a sentence describing a CIA plan to shoot Nancy Pelosi and strangle Harry Reid and if any member of Congress publicly did anything about it like, say, introducing a bill making it illegal for the CIA to assassinate members of Congress, that congressman would be in a peck of trouble for revealing CIA methods and practices.

The CIA briefings could have read like an unexpunged NKVD report and there is not a damn thing any member of Congress could say or do about it.

June Is Busting Out All Over

Sunsets lost in
Skies of hazy greys
June gloom sets in
Puts me in a daze
Nothing changes
All we do is wait
Our heads hanging
Shaking in dismay ~ June Gloom, The Like

It's spring in Southern California. The desert to the east is heating nicely, most days the temperature is over 100 degrees F. The ocean to the west still has its Arctic chill, the water temp is seldom over 65 degrees F.

Here, the physics of earthly weather patterns are on display. The hot, dry desert air sucks in cold, moist ocean winds. The land in between where most of the people live is naturally encased in a thick layer of coastal low clouds. For a couple of months every year the fabled Southern California sun is a sad hoax as all we see are endless days of clouds known, unfondly, by the locals as May Grey and June Gloom.

Torture Truth Will Out

From my keyboard to God's ear. It took a grand total of two days from when I predicted that, contrary to President Obama's efforts, the pictures of American abuse of prisoners would get out eventually for the pictures to find freedom. Via DailyKos.

It doesn't matter if they are undisclosed Abu Ghraib photos (as will certainly be claimed) or new shots from other American prisons, the effect is the same. I don't think it is mixing metaphors to observe that when you dance with the devil you are going to get burned.

The New Face of the GOP...

Looks a whole lot like the old face. Kim Hendren, while attacking New York Democrat Chuck Schumer at a Republican Party meeting in Arkansas, called Schumer "that Jew."

While I can't find the context it is hard for an old, white, male, southern to say the phrase "that Jew" without his lip curling up into a snarl.

It looks like Republicans are still having trouble talking comfortably in public without wearing a pointy white hood.

We Can Handle the Truth

We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. ~ Col. Nathan Jessep, A Few Good Men

President Obama has concluded that he can't handle the truth about American interrogation techniques and has blocked the release of photos documenting the abuse of detainees in Iraq and Afghanistan. The excuse given is that releasing the photos would "endanger the troops." That's poppycock, of course. It is simply the traditional term used for a military cover-up.

What we have in the field in both Iraq and Afghanistan are a whole battalion of Col. Jesseps. Commanders who considered themselves gods able to authorize crimes and outrages against common decency with impunity. Had these commanders any concern at all for the safety of their troops they would never have allowed conduct that, when it became know as it inevitably would have, was certain to engender a backlash.

The truth is that these commanders considered the Arabs and Pashtuns held captive by their troops to be less than human. For some this was a reflection of their religious fanaticism. For others it was old fashioned racial hatred for dark skinned peoples. Military training had a hand in this - soldiers are taught long and hard to never think of "the enemy" as people lest they feel remorse for what they are doing. And we shouldn't forget sadism as a motive - simple recreational torture. Whatever the motive they believed, were certain, that torturing detainees was no less moral than kicking a stray dog or pulling the wings off a fly.

If President Obama wants to cover up these acts he needs to do more than block release of the photos. As long as the evidence exists the truth will find a way out. He needs to order the destruction of all the pictures. He also needs to discover those few members of the military with consciouses and scruples and send them on suicide missions. Maybe authorize a code red. I pity the President. He is now learning how to dance with the devil.

Cheney Is a Coward, too

When Dick Cheney expressed a willingness to testify under oath before Congress on the Bush torture program, he was lying. Cheney will never actually testify, you can bet on that.

First, Cheney will never give up his right to fib freely. Truthfulness terrifies him. Second, Cheney fears intelligent questions. Dick doesn't mind being interviewed by Bob Schieffer, who is a bit of a poof, or by Brit Hume who is a brown-nosed toady, but Cheney is timorous being questioned by anyone smarter than he is. That would be three-quarters of the nation's population, half of Congress, and ten percent of the Washington press corps.

Cheney will weasel out his commitment to testify and, being the dick that he is, he will blame Democrats for his own cowardice. Cheney, along with Sean Hannity, is a charter member of the Republican White Feather Brigade. Their cowardice knows no bounds.

The Return of Willy Pete

The sudden appearance of scores of strange burn cases in Afghanistan is pointing to the use of white phosphorus. The US Army has been quicker this time than they were with similar cases in Iraq. The United States is blaming it all on Taliban militants.

It's possible. Starbursts would be a useful strategy to use against American soldiers wearing night-vision goggles. Then there would be the propaganda value for the Taliban to martyr unsuspecting innocents and blame it on the Americans. It is certainly something they would do.

On the other hand, the American military has a history of using white phosphorus as an anti-personnel weapon. There is really nothing to add to the fact the the United States military includes the use of chemical weapons upon human targets as part of their anti-insurgency battle tactics. Bombing Afghan villages with Willy Pete is certainly something the US Army would do.

So, who is to blame? We will never know. It does prove, yet again, that war is hell. And that would make the people who fight wars demons, one and all.

Things Aren't as Good as They Seem

How well, or bad, things seem depends entirely on your perspective. Not necessarily your philosophical perspective, sometimes all you need is a different physical perspective.

Take, for example, the economy, especially the stock market. If your perspective is the dollar the Dow Jones average peaked in October, 2007, lost a bit over 50% of its value in a year and a half and is now showing some signs of life (see chart above).

If your perspective is gold, then the stock market peak happened in the year 1999 and the entire eight years of the Bush Administration was one prolonged unmitigated financial disaster. The stock market decline, measured in gold, is nearly 80% and the recent uptick is an insignificant blip - less than a fly spitting in the ocean.The chart was created by Chart of the Day.

Secession Dreams

I can't quit pondering Republican's secession dreams. DailyKos did a poll that found that nearly half of Texas and Georgia Republicans want to cut their states loose from the union. Nationwide, only two out of every three Republicans are unequivocal supporters of the united part of United States.

Like that guy, I'm worried that Texas Republicans, being the craven, all hat no cattle, cowardly windbags that they are will just keep talking about it and never get around to the leavin' part.

TexasFred, for example, is pissing his panties worrying about whether secession is legal. What a sissy wuss! When Dick Cheney wanted to watch torture tapes with his morning mug of prune juice he didn't bother with petty issues of legality. He just had his lawyers make shit up saying it was legal.

And, support for Texas secession is very strong outside of Texas. I share Piece of Mind's opinion - stop tantalizing us will all this hopeful talk and just leave already. Mike Hendricks at the Kansas City Star is firmer. If Texas doesn't leave we should kick them out. Weekly World News tells us what secession would look like.

You Can't Go Home Again

News Report: Arlen Specter Loses Senate Seniority

There is a reason, in 2001, when Jim Jeffords left the Republican Party he became an independent instead of a Democrat. It's the same reason Joe Lieberman stayed in his own party-of-one instead of appending a big red R to the end of his name even while campaigning for Republicans in 2008. They may have spat on the bridge, they may even have smeared stale feces on the bridge, but they didn't burn the bridge behind them.

The reason Jeffords and Lieberman didn't go full monty and switch parties is that the only power they had was their disloyalty. They kept the ability to switch back if they had to. Even though Democrats like me wanted Lieberman drawn and quartered and have his head stuck on a pike in the Capitol Rotunda, he had kept enough vagueness to his loyalty that he could play the lost sheep returning to the fold and get away with it. Specter didn't do the subtle shift, he swapped teams. Then Specter wasted no time announcing his intention to stab his new allies in the back every chance he got.

He's stuck. Specter is a Democrat now whether he likes it or not. The Republicans won't take him back. There can be no "it was a mistake and all is forgiven" charade. So Specter gets what Lieberman avoided - the very last seat in the very last row of the Democratic caucus.

No one trusts a quisling. No one likes a quisling. And no one is going to give up their senority on the Appropriations Committee to a quisling.

You Can't Go Home Again is also a good book.

Bargaining With the Devils at Goldman

There is something evil lurking in the executive suites of that building. Something like in the movie Devil's Advocate only a banker not a lawyer, which makes it even worse. That is the Goldman Sachs Tower in Jersey City, by the way.

If anything is going to destroy Barack Obama in the future it is going to be the way that Goldman Sachs has infused itself into every aspect of the economic recovery program, usually in ways that are devious and designed to benefit that one bank ahead of everyone else, including the nation. This is the kind of thing that has a habit of blowing up.

• The AIG bailout was mainly designed to benefit Goldman.
• Goldman wants to repay its TARP bailout money. A skeptic would note they can use their bailout money laundered through AIG to do that.
  
• Everywhere you turn in Washington you find Treasury officials with deep ties to Goldman.
  
• The most egregious example is New York Fed Chairman Stephen Friedman, who sits on the board of directors of Goldman, was buying Goldman stock at the same time the Fed was sending the company billions of dollars of bailout capital. Lesser mortals might call that insider trading. I would never accuse Friedman or Goldman of anything illegal because...
• It appears some guy is facing legal problems for critizing Goldman.
  

There is something very wrong at Goldman Sachs. President Obama needs to erect a firewall between his administration and that company before it is too late.

(P.S. - As a notice to Goldman Sachs' team of highly paid lawyers, I really love Goldman Sachs. I am building an altar to them and will be sacrificing small furry animals, perhaps even drinking the still warm blood of virgins, to placate his terrible visage. Of my own free will, I now acknowledge Your power.)

Betcha I Flunked the Test

I was going to write about the Banana Proof of God, but it's been done to death. Zombie Lovers pretty much shares my sentiment. But looking into bananas I came across the Atheist Test. He asks several questions that are all pretty much along the Banana Proof model.

Building - A structure that has a roof and walls and stands more or less permanently in one place.

Question #1: Do you know of any building that didn't have a builder?
Answer: Yes. They are called caves.

Painting - Any work of art in which objects are represented in color on a flat surface.

Question #2: Do you know of any painting that didn't have a painter?
Answer: Yes. I could say the whole of the Universe because the Universe is awash in color and beauty far beyond da Vinci's talents, but I'll make it hard on myself and stick to the "flat surface" part of the criteria. Butterfly wings.

Car - A self-propelled vehicle used for transporting passengers.

Question #3: Do you know of any car that didn't have a maker?
Answer: Yes, but you won't like the answer. See below.

Diseased

I am diseased.
On Friday I had the telltale signs of a viral infection - raging headache, fever, muscle weakness, lethargy, and general overall yuckiness. Using the sound, analytical diagnostic skills developed by decades of hypochondria I came to the only possible rational conclusion - I had contracted the Mexican Swine Flu.

Only I hadn't. After a little vomiting, a lot of diarrhea, and nary a sniffle (one would expect some sinus congestion from a respiratory infection like influenza) I had to conclude that I had a contracted a nasty little gastrointestinal virus that would probably run its course about, well, now. Of course I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't be a celebrity corpse in the morgue (Pandemic Take First San Diego Victim).

My immune system did its job. Elevated body temperature to make life a little difficult for the virus, general yuckiness to convince me to rest and let my body concentrate on fighting the little buggers, and a thorough purging of my digestive tract.

Art is Caricature of the Influenza Epidemic of 1820.