Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Trump In Mexico

If I were Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto this is what I would say at their joint press conference.
I have met many world leaders in my four years as Mexico's President. Never in my career have I met a more arrogant, less intelligent person. It is up to the people of the Estados Unitos to decide who they want as their president and I do not want to comment on that. I will say that Mr. Trump is not qualified to be mayor of the smallest village in my country.

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.
He should then turn his back on Trump and walk out, leaving him to address the hostile Mexican media alone.

It won't happen, but I can dream.

UPDATE: Well, I didn't get my dream. Nieto came off as an obsequious little toady. His last two years in office will likely be a living hell as his people will dismiss him as a pathetic little coward. Trump, on the other hand, beat all expectations and appeared almost presidential. As for Hillary, she'd better rethink the whole "coasting to victory" plan or her only appointment in January will be with Mitt Romney to ask his advice on how to cope with permanent unemployment.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Trump: History Is Repeating Itself

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. ~ George Santayana
A depressing part of being a history buff is the feeling this election has all happened before.

Muslims Are the Modern Jew
They are all enemies... 
"Every Jew is our enemy." ~ Joesph Goebbels, Die Juden sind schuld! (1941)
"Every Muslim is a terrorist." ~ Virginia man at a community meeting (2015)

They are all parasites...
"The Jew is the parasite of humanity. He can be a parasite for an individual person, a social parasite for whole peoples, and the world parasite of humanity." ~ G. G. Otto, Der Jude als Weltparasit (1944)
"followers of Mohammed cannot by Muslim law (shariah) integrate or assimilate into the host nation’s culture. Rather they feed off the host country until the time when they have sufficient political, financial, social and military power to overthrow the host country and replace it with Islam." ~ Rich Swier, The Muslim Parasite and the Western Host (2015)
And they are the face of evil.
Suss the Jew (1940)

The Sweet Face of Islam (2016)
Non-Whites Are...
Untermensch, subhuman, the Nazi term for Slavs, Gypsies, blacks, and, of course, Jews. They were inferior...
"Mulattos and Finn-Asian barbarians, Gipsy’s [sic] and black skin savages all make up this modern underworld of subhuman’s that is always headed by the appearance of the eternal Jew." ~ Heinrich Himmler, Der Untermensch (1942)
"There are those who contend that it does not benefit African-Americans to get them into the University of Texas where they do not do well, as opposed to having them go to a less-advanced school, a less — a slower-track school where they do well." ~ Justice Antonin Scalia (2015)
"Why babble about brutality and be indignant about tortures? The masses want that. They need something that will give them a thrill of horror." ~ Adolph Hitler (ca 1934)
"They’re (Mexicans) bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people." ~ Donald Trump (2015) 
race defilers...
"Extramarital relations between Jews and subjects of the state of German or related blood are forbidden." ~ Nuremberg Laws (1935)
"Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young white girl before they leave, which is a real sad thing because then we have another issue we have to deal with down the road." ~ Paul LePage (2016)
who need to be eliminated.
"I hope to see the very concept of Jewry completely obliterated." ~ Heinrich Himmler (1941)
When Old Yeller brings us slippers, give him a biscuit; when he foams at the mouth, you shoot him between the eyes. Any questions? You got to do it. America, you got to cleanse this country. ~ Ted Nugent (2015)
The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country. ~ Hermann Goering (1946) awaiting war crimes trial
I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America. He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country. ~ Rudy Giuliani (2015)
I could go on with examples of nationalism and misogyny but I'm getting seriously depressed by this exercise. Ask any historian. This path has been trod before with disastrous results. 

Saturday, August 27, 2016

'Women Have No Legitimate Use for Freedom'

Thus saith a commenter to the American Thinker article that says women have destroyed Western civilization by voting. American Thinker is the "scholarly" voice of the Alt-right movement. If Breitbart is the modern Der Stürmer, American Thinker is an updated Das Schwarze Korps.
The article in question is a typical American Thinker piece, a pseudo-intellectual work that uses run-on sentences to mimic erudition. Author David Solway's premise is that civilization is a male creation and women voters, with their disdain for war and their charitable spirits, have emasculated society and stripped civilization of its rugged manliness.

He argues that women be forbidden the vote because only people who fight wars (i.e. men) should be allowed the franchise because only they have the right to make the serious decisions of governance.

He states that women are a burden to the economy. Women, he says, work in "education and caring occupations' that are unproductive drains on the economy that threaten to suck resources away from the military.

He suggests women are responsible for infectious diseases because Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin in 1928, before women could vote in England and, apparently, women voters would have stifled him. He says women have the "catastrophic" trait of being nice which is dooming Western civilization.

The comments section is the same troglodyte shit, just less civilized. They content women "procreate," apparently without male assistance, and steal men's money to raise the children. And then these evil women complain when the man kidnaps his children for his own uses.

One moans that the "soccer mom" voting demographic had "ruined Bruce Springsteen's music." Another complains that "White women gave the election to the Kenyan twice." A third blames women for the automatic transmission in cars. Breitbart is scary. American Thinker is just funny.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Wading in the Breitbart Fever Swamp

Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories. ~ Sun Tsu
I've always sought out rightwing opinions in an effort to know my political enemies. For years that meant reading Bill Buckley's National Review. More recently I've added the Redstate website.

But with the rise of Donald Trump these have become unreliable places to find opposing thoughts. Just today, a Redstate front page writer wrote in praise Rachel Maddow's evisceration of Trump's campaign manager. A year ago that would have earned the writer a swift banning. Finding so many conservatives swimming in my pond I had to reach deeper into the swamp to find Trump's True Believers.

Hence, last Spring I began reading Breitbart. It is a disgusting, disease ridden place. You've all seen the most hate-filled headlines like "Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy" and "Bill Kristol: Republican Spoiler, Renegade Jew." No links, if you want to read that shit you'll have to Google it yourself. Worst than the headlines and stories are the comments.

Just today, Breitbart commenters were calling US Olympic soccer goalie Hope Solo a "mudshark" a KKK term for a woman who commits miscegenation. They routinely call African-Americans "animals" or "monkeys" and attack women as a "small boobed whores." Dissenting commenters will be denounced as "Jew liars" destined for "the ovens."

But their love for all things Trump is almost undying. Almost, because there is a rumble of rebellion in the ranks over Trump's hinting at not forcibly rounding up and deporting tens of millions of non-whites. Although most are comforted by the belief that Trump is lying about compassion and that he will be swift and ruthless once elected.

Trump loves them too, as witness his hiring of Breitbart head Steve Bannon to be the Trump campaign CEO and his bringing noted British racist Nigel Farage over for a joint rally in Mississippi.

Breitbart is a rancid place but it is a necessary study to know the threats we face.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Donny and the Invisible Voters

It is sure to be a laff riot as the hilarious Donny Trump searches for the elusive Invisible Voters. Co-starring the evilest straightman in political history, Steve Bannon, and the seductive Kellyanne Conway, the three go on a wacky quest through the dark frightening forests of the Alt-Right seeking invisible voters that can't be seen by any poll or survey.

Watch the conniving Bannon twist gullible Donny around his little finger. Marvel as Kellyanne bats her eyelashes and magically turns little Donny into an actual ventriloquist dummy. Laugh out loud as Donny does his classic bit of failing to pick up a newspaper with his tiny, tiny hands.

We'd like to say it's fun for the whole family but the truth is that small children and rational, educated adults might find certain scenes terrifying. But those with minimal intelligence and no self-esteem will believe absolutely everything they see.

Coming this fall to a theater near you.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

How Crazy Is Donald Trump?

Since Trump and his surrogates have been all over everywhere questioning Clinton's health (She likes a little lumbar support when seated and has been know to sleep at night. She's obviously at death's door.) it's only fair if I look at Trump's mental health. The American Psychiatric Association has declared it unethical for psychiatrists to analyze Trump from afar but I'm not a doctor so I can.

I took the Self-Assessment on Psychopathy / Narcissistic Personality Disorder on Donald's behalf. I tried to answer the 42 questions like Donald would and while a few questions were difficult most were quite easy. Here are the results.
There are strong indications that you might have a psychopathic / antisocial personality disorder. You reached 100,00% of Factor 1 which captures the core personality traits of psychopathy that define the interpersonal and affective deficits of this personality disorder.
Psychopathy is distinguished by callous unemotional traits (e.g., glibness, pathological lying, shallow affect, and lack of empathy).
You reached 77,78% of Factor 2 which captures the traits of antisocial behavior (e.g. criminal versatility, impulsiveness, irresponsibility, poor behaviour controls) and is associated with reactive anger, social deviance, sensation seeking, anxiety, increased risk of suicide, criminality, and impulsive violence.
Antisocial personality disorder displays a sense of entitlement, unremorseful, apathetic to others, unconscionable, blameful of others, manipulative and conning.
There are strong indications that you might have a narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism. [Source]

We've all seen these traits in Donald. The incessant bragging about having "a very good brain" and being his own best advisor because he knows more about war than "the generals." And his obsessive maniacal reactions when criticized. He treats every little pinprick of criticism like it was a dagger to the heart. Do you remember when Trump was outraged that Clinton didn't congratulate him in her nomination acceptance speech? That was some serious neediness.
There are strong indications that you might have a histrionic personality disorder.
Histrionic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of attention seeking behavior and extreme emotionality. [Source] You know, like feeling compelled to call reporters pretending to be his own publicist to brag about himself and his sexual conquests.
You meet 100% of the range of general personality disorder criteria. This further indicates that you might have to deal with a severe personality disorder. Thus, is strongly recommended you seek a professional diagnosis to be sure what exactly you are dealing with. It might turn out useful to print the previous page including your selections and take it to a psychotherapist, psychiatrist or psychologist.
Take the test on Donald's behalf yourself. Be fair. Answer the questions just like Donald would answer them. And if you know Donald, print out the results and put them on his desk. It would be a kindness. His life would be so much happier if he would address these demons that possess him.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Things to Expect

If Trump Wins...
In Baton Rouge on August 19, the first people off the plane were these two men.
1. Trump's heavily armed Praetorian Guard announcing his arrival in a city.
2. Trump winning 95% of every subsequent election vote, including the one to suspend the Constitution during the war against Islam.
3. A purge of Republicans deemed Trump's political enemies and the imprisonment of his Democratic opponents.
4. Arnold Schwarzengger will be Trump's Chairman of the Joint Chiefs-of-Staff.

If Trump Loses...
1. Trump and Bannon will blame renegade Jews and Republican traitors for stabbing him in the back.
2. Trump will refuse to concede, declare the election stolen, and call for an armed rebellion to overturn the results.
3. When that rebellion doesn't happen except for the occupation of a couple of minor federal buildings resolved when the occupiers run out of beef jerky, Trump, Bannon, and Roger Ailes will form a Trump News Network to broadcast radical propaganda (and new episodes of "The Apprentice").

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Trump's Microscopic Ad Buy

When Trump's campaign announced their first media buy in three swing states a few days ago I expected a modest buy, three or four million dollars. Not enough to match Clinton but sufficient to at least be in the game. I was wrong.

Trump is investing an infinitesimal $72,000 in Ohio (Clinton - $17 million). That's barely enough for a starter campaign across Ohio's forty news/talk radio stations. Forget television except maybe a small buy on Zanesville's 2:30am broadcast of The People's Court.

In Pennsylvania, Trump is buying $78,000 in ads (Clinton - $6 million). He is going for a relatively big buy in Florida of $270,000 which is a tad over one percent of Clinton's $23 million investment. All totaled, Trump's $420,000 ad buy is less than McDonald's will spend this month advertising in Miami alone.

I tried to come up with some new way to describe how pathetic this is. I came up with...

This insect penis is both larger and more impressive than Trump's first ad buy.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Damn, Trump Let Me Write About Something Else

So much Trump, so little bandwidth.

Keeps Stepping On His Own Headlines
So Trump makes a major "law and order" speech in Wisconsin, teleprompter and everything. So, rather than let this morning's headlines be about, you know, that, Trump shits all over himself by publicly reorganizing the top of his campaign staff. Again. It's not like he couldn't wait until Friday to make the change and let the news concentrate on his policies instead of the circus clowns.

Speaking of Clowns
And what a clown. Trump's new campaign head is a man with zero experience in running a campaign or working on a national campaign. Steve Bannon's sole qualification is his slavish devotion to all things Trump and, as head of an alt-right website, he has never met a weird conspiracy theory he couldn't swallow whole. We can expect Bannon and Trump to say

Where Are the Adults?
It is accepted that Trump's daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner are the only intelligent members of the campaign. Where they are is exiled on "vacation" to Croatia sharing a yacht with Rupert Murdoch ex-wife who is rumored to be the current mistress of Vladimir Putin. Eighty-two days before an election is no time to be vacationing so, unless the Kushner's are negotiating the surrender of NATO to Russia, their absence from the campaign is really stupid.

Speaking of Russia
On the eve of receiving his first CIA briefing, Trump is on FOX News says that he won't be listening to American intelligence because he doesn't trust it. I suspect Trump will be more open to receiving briefings from Russia's Foreign Intelligence Service.

Kneel Before Zod
Trump's spokesperson Omarosa said in a PBS documentary that more important to Trump than turning the country around is that as President he can force his critics and detractors to "bow down" before Trump.

Et Tu Brute?
Most shocking of all, to me, is that John Yoo, author of the Bush Administration's legal justification for torture and, in my mind, a war criminal, has stated that he would rather see Hillary appoint Supreme Court justices than risk a Trump presidency. Really John, after all these years have you finally grown a small moral code. 

Monday, August 15, 2016

The Schoolyard Maturity of Donald Trump

We all knew people like Donald when we were in school, with their crude, bullying taunts.

He's a Spaz!
The most famous of Trump's childish displays was when he mocked a disabled man. It is what you would expect to see from an eight year-old punk trying to make the kid in the wheelchair cry.

Yo Mamma
This happened last week. When protesters interrupted his rally in Erie, PA, Trump responded with "Your mother is voting for Trump. It’s true. It’s true." It's the "I fucked yo mamma" comeback a fourteen year-old ruffian makes when he's being bested in a war of words.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue
Go to a kindergarten playground and you'll see a kid losing a battle of wits with another six year-old resort in frustration to "Well, I'm rubber and you're glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you." Trump has nothing original left so he is reduced to this weak retort.

Am So, Am So
The worst thing you can do to a high school bully is question his manhood by saying he has a tiny pecker. So it was with Donald who invested time during a Republican debate to assure the public that he does, in fact, have a majestic winky.

Sour Grapes
Faced with the increasing certainty that he is losing, Trump has fallen back on two arguments - that the election is being stolen from him and it's not worth having anyway. The attitude that "the grapes are probably sour and I wouldn't like them" can be heard in Trump saying he'll just go back to his "very good" way of life. He's now saying that he doesn't really want the presidency.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Now On Sale!

Donald Trump's kid has relegated daddy to the bargain bin. Sorry, at that price I'd still need them to throw in two Nazi stooges and a KKK retread.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Six People Who Revolutionized Their Sports

I'm not talking about superior athletes like Babe Ruth or Wayne Gretzky who changed their sports by their very existence. These are people whose innovations changed the way the sport was done. (I was going to write this earlier but Donald Trump couldn't keep his pie hole shut.)

Candy Cummings - Curveball (Baseball)
In 1867, a small, skinny teenager was playing for an amateur baseball club in Brooklyn and experimenting with different ways to throw seashells when he discovered a way to make the shells curve. Being a pitcher, he tried to do the same thing with a baseball and it did. Problem was he couldn't use it in a game because his catcher, as was standard practice, stood twenty feet behind the batter and a curving pitch would skip past him.

In 1870, a new catcher, Nat Hicks, brought the new technique of crouching right behind the batter where he could catch Candy's curves. Batters have been cursing the curveball ever since.

Duke Kahanamoku - Modern Freestyle (Swimming)
In 1844, two Native Americans traveled to England where they competed in a London swimming race. Flying Gull won easily using a crawl stroke that outraged the European swimmers. The European swimmers used the genteel breaststroke and rejected the heathen stroke that splashed "grotesquely." A stroke similar to what Katie Ledecky uses.

Later swimmers like Brit John Trudgen and Aussie Dick Cavill relearned the stroke from Native Americans and Pacific Islanders. American swimmer Charlie Daniels added the "six-beat kick" while winning early Olympic contests. In the 1912 Olympics Duke further modified the stroke into the freestyle form still used today. Oh, and Duke introduced surfing to the world, so there's that too.

Sonja Henie and Dick Button - Figure Skating
Prior to Sonja Henie women's figure skating was mostly carving highly specific designs. Ladies wore long thick dresses and moved around the ice purposely if not gracefully. Sonja changed that during the 1920's. She wore short skirts, part ballerina and part flapper. And she moved with style, flair, artistry, and elegance.

Ulrich Salchow invented the jump that bears his name in 1909, towards the end of his career, but it took Dick Button in post WWII competitions to demonstrate that skaters can add power to grace. He landed the first triple jump and invented new routines like the flying camel.

Jacques Plante - Goalie Mask (Hockey)
In 1959, the Montreal Canadians goalie was hit in the face by a shot, breaking his nose. After a quick stitch-up Plante returned to the ice wearing a hand carved mask he had been wearing during practices. The team's coach hated the mask but he had to allow Plante to wear it because at the time NHL teams seldom dressed a backup goaltender. The mask was slow to be accepted by goalies because of tradition and whatever is the Canadian word for machismo. Now that the mask has evolved to something close to a welder's helmet, it has fundamentally changed the sport.

Prior to the mask goaltenders stayed on their feet because dropping to your knees to block a slapshot was an invitation to having your face redesigned by frozen vulcanized rubber. With the mask goalies can fearlessly be on their knees with their legs spread in the "butterfly" technique making it virtually impossible to score a goal along the ice.

Dick Fosbury - Fosbury Flop (High Jump)
It's been almost forty years since any champion high jumper has gone over the bar face down. In 1965, a 16 year-old high school hippie started experimenting with new techniques because he couldn't master the traditional side-straddle jumping style. He found he jumped better going over headfirst and upside down. For years his high school and college coaches tried to get him back to tradition but they couldn't argue with his success at setting school and meet records.

The unknown Fosbury went to the 1968 Mexico City Olympics and set a new world record. Within a couple of years most high jumpers had switched to the easier and more efficient flop.

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Trump Wants His Supporters to Kill Hillary

My fucking God! Is there no insanity beyond this man?
Trump wants to recruit a fifth killer.
In a North Carolina rally today Donald Trump suggested that "Second Amendment people" could stop Hillary Clinton from appointing judges.

I've seen a lot of crazy things in my life. I've seen one president assassinated and seen two other attempted assassinations of presidents I've seen one presidential candidate assassinated and another attempted assassination of a presidential candidate.

I've never seen a major party presidential candidate urge the murder of his opponent. In American history, no major presidential candidate has has ever stooped so low. In the 1860 election that preceded the Civil War none of Lincoln's three opponents suggested that Lincoln be murdered.

It is not just insane. It is not just beyond the Pale. Even Hitler didn't suggest assassinating President Hindenburg. This is a whole new world of horror that the Republican Party has presented to the American people.

Friday, August 05, 2016

Can Trump Be Replaced?

The Assassination of Julius Caesar. Trump's fate?
Ladbrokes, a London betting parlor, has set the odds at 6 to 1 that Donald Trump will be replaced on the Republican presidential ticket. Those are remarkably short odds, less than half odds that bettors gave the Belmont Stakes winner Creator (14 to 1). Can it, will it, happen?

The Republican Party can't kick Trump to the curb; he would have to leave and there are only three ways out.
  1. Trump Quits the Race - Trump has the most extreme case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder I've ever seen. Quitting would be a humiliation that no narcissistic could tolerate.Trump would only voluntarily leave the race if he could anoint his own successor and the only person he would pick would be his first born son, Donald Trump Jr.
  2. Trump Dies - I can envision a cabal of vulnerable Republican senators thinking that surrounding Trump and stabbing him repeatedly is the only way to save their seats. Or, they could publicly assassinate Trump and set up some drugged and brainwashed Muslim as the fall guy. But, seriously, would Republicans really murder their own candidate? Possibly, not probably.
  3. Trump Is Hospitalized - Trump's children, seeing how he is screwing up the campaign and, worse for them, demolishing the Trump brand, have him forcibly committed to a mental institution. Trump's court appointed executor would then withdraw him from the election. Or, more likely, this same scenario with a cover story of Trump having a serious ailment forcing his withdrawal from the campaign.
If Newt Gingrich's intervention happens the result will be Trump losing his cell phone privileges, no more tweets. Trump will be forced to read off teleprompters at all public appearances and he will be punished every time he goes off script perhaps with an electric shock collar strapped to his thigh (watch for it). And he will mysteriously catch the flu for each of the presidential debates.

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Donald and the Giant Mushroom (Cloud)

Donald Trump is nuke curious. That fact has been floating around for months.
Trump is obsessed with nukes and, like a child before Christmas, badly wants some of his own to play with. Maybe he will just use them as a threat to get the trade deals he wants (the phrase is nuclear blackmail) or he sees them as a quick, cheap way to end the war against ISIS. Or maybe he just wants to get his hands around the world's largest phallic symbols and stroke them and love them.

Perhaps this country has reached the point where it will take a military coup to prevent the country from descending into a nuclear holocaust.

Tuesday, August 02, 2016

Trump Kicks Baby Out

Presidential candidates cuddling up to babies is an election cliche. Presidential candidates consoling the families of fallen soldiers is a tradition dating back to George Washington. Presidential candidates, as a rule, tend to speak in complete sentences and have a rudimental grasp of English grammar.

Donald Trump is taking all these foundations of presidential elections and blowing them up bigly. Last night Trump had a baby thrown out of his rally for upstaging him by doing a baby thing, crying.

Trump continues attacking a Gold Star family, saying that they have no right to speak in public. Trump surrogate Roger Stone went farther and accuses the family of being terrorists and implying that the fallen soldier was planning a terrorist attack himself.

Trump's daily degrading of the English language is well known. His latest assault on Shakespeare's tongue is repeatedly saying about the New York Times that "They don't write good." They certainly write gooder than Donald speaks. Trump's speeches have been analyzed at a third grade reading level while his grasp of grammar and syntax would embarrass a toddler.

Donald Trump may be the first person elected President before he is properly potty trained.