Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Crimes and Misdemeanors

Congressman Swindler
My congressman, Duncan Hunter Jr., has been indicted for stealing campaign donations. His pappa was a grifter too. Senior managed to wriggle out of trouble because he was a smart grifter. Junior is an idiot. His thefts were blatant, ranging from petty to gross, done with a consciousnesses of guilt but with cover stories so inane a four year-old could see through them.

Duncan will be reelected. Half the Republicans in my district are so clueless they think Pappa Hunter is still their congressman while the other half would vote for Al Capone if he were a Republican running against Jesus Christ.

Double-barrel Guilt
I've been amused by how the right-wing media have tried to spin the Mueller convictions and Cohen guilty plea. Most spent yesterday trying to pretend they never happened, burying the story beneath fluff and nonsense. and Sean Hannity treated the Mueller conviction like a baseball score. Only eight convictions out of eighteen charges means that Mueller's defense won. Of course, Mueller's record is a dismal zero wins, eight losses, and ten draws. I'm sure Mueller is comforted by that thought though as he prepares to spend the rest of his life in prison. Mueller has another trial coming up in a D.C. court.
If it please God to give your enemies another such victory, they are ruined. ~ Claude de Villars to his king following the Battle of Malplaquet
National Review's Andrew McCarthy and Rudy Guiliani tried to spin Cohen's guilty plea as a good thing for Trump. Now that Cohen is a confessed liar, any future testimony he gives is discredited, they claim, whistling past the graveyard. McCarthy also states, without any evidence, that Cohen had only one tape of Trump incriminating himself. That's probably false, if he taped one conversation he taped others.

Friday, August 17, 2018

Trump Parade Cancelled to Save Money

Trump' military penis parade has been cancelled because it was costing too much money and I can testify that's true.

I was intending to leave the country to avoid any coverage of it, probably flying down to Cabo in Mexico just after election day. I don't have to go now, saving over a thousand dollars.

Which reminds me of an old Abbott and Costello routine.

PS: I never noticed before, Trump doesn't just do math like Lou Costello, he wears his tie in the same comic way.