Friday, July 03, 2009

Why Sarah, Why?

So, I'm writing about boring old Goldman Sachs and missed the breaking news of the month - Sarah Palin is resigning as Governor of Alaska with 17 months left to serve.

While there is good in this, that media whore Mark Sanford is going to have to start parading around dressed like Bruno to get his sexual dalliances noticed now, this is mostly just horrible. What am I going to do for laughs? What about poor Tina Fey? What is certain is she did not discuss this with her aides. That leave the big unanswered question, why?
  • Republican fans claim she is setting herself up for a run for the presidency. That is silly. Sanford goes AWOL for a week and a majority of his state want him fired. Palin goes AWOL for a full third of her only term in office and she won't be accepted as a serious candidate for anything. Only possible if Palin is a political imbicile.
  • She's taking a job on FOX News. Sarah has a limited remaining shelf-life as a sex symbol, maybe only five years before there is not enough make-up to hide the wrinkles and she turns from MILF to aged Cougar. She has decided to chase the money while she is still young enough to be a golddigger. I think very likely.
  • There is a major scandal about to break. This is the speculation at Firedoglake. People as greedy and narcissistic as both Sarah and Todd Palin are only a forged check or an undone zipper away from scandal. Sarah has been traveling alot which is an open invitation for either one to make a booty call. There is a very good chance of this.
  • Sarah's preggers. Which would not be a scandal unless Todd isn't the father. Then there is the question of Bristol's or, God helps us, Willow's fertility. They are both at a dangerous age to be mostly unsupervised which they mostly have been. I doubt it and I hope not.
  • She is tired of the rough and tumble world of politics. She just up and QUIT! This is Andrea Mitchell's speculation. If so, it would certainly confirm what we all were saying about her not being ready for the big fish tank and we should all thank God she never made it to Washington. But, "I'm resigning to spend more time with my family" is such a cliche and is never, ever, the reason why someone resigns. I doubt it.
I say she has already signed a contract with Murdock and that is why the hurried resignation. I predict she will be taking Bill O'Reilly's primetime spot by August 10.

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