Sunday, March 11, 2012

Republican Religious Pilgrimage

Rick Santorum underwent hajj, the pilgrimage all observant Republican candidates are required to make once in their lifetime. He traveled today to the birthplace of Rush Limbaugh, Cape Girardeau, MO.

Male pilgrims are required to wear the ihram, a kind of sweater vest. While wearing the sweater vest a pilgrim may not wear perfume, swear, or have sex. Performing dishonest acts are a sacred duty.

A pilgrim must walk around Rush Limbaugh's birthplace seven times in a counter-clockwise direction. They may also kiss the Black Stone (aka Rush's crapper). Other sacraments include smoking Cuban cigars, swallowing excessive doses of Oxycodin, and calling any women they see "sluts." 

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