Ryan's Water Fetish
There are many causes of severe dry mouth from diabetes to hypothyroidism. But Ryan's obsessive water consumption during the Veep debate was due to high anxiety. Paul Ryan was scared spitless being on that stage.
Pity Prize
The poor European Union, struggling to hold itself together through multiple economic crises and suicidal austerity packages, got what amounts to pity sex from Norway. Norway won't marry the EU but she will give him the Nobel Peace Prize because she feels sorry for him.
Mr. Not-October
I love Alex Rodriguez, in a sarcastic way. He has three MVPs, 647 home runs, and a salary that would choke Mitt Romney's horse. But when October begins A-Rod begins gagging like a mouse trying to swallow a watermelon. In the pantheon of New York Yankee heroes A-Rod ranks below Bobby Richardson and Bucky Dent.
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