Shocking News! Trump Not Running!!

This is by far the most shocking news of the year. Donald Trump announced today he is not running for President. I'm flabbergasted because there is one more episode left of The Apprentice and I was certain he would hold off the announcement until next Monday.

How does this affect the Republican field? Trump's loyalists will probably divide between Michelle Bachmann (for her insane ego) and John Bolton (weird mustache replacing weird hair).