First the good news:
-> Heaven has wi-fi so I can continue blogging. As the Archangel Gabriel said during orientation, "We're as modern as Hell up here."
-> We also have access to satellite TV so I can watch the end of the Stanley Cup.
-> The eating is pretty good. Mana tastes a little like strawberries.
-> Lots of trees and flowers but more insects than you'd think. It seems God is an entomologist.
Now the Bad News:
(Or more good news, it depends on your perspective.)
<- Camping and his crowd aren't invited. It seems God is really pissed at all these preachers who claim they've been talking to Him. Says it's a straight up violation of the Third Commandment. Besides, all those holier-than-thou types would be really annoying trying to be holier than Him.
<- Also not invited are soldiers, hunters, and anyone who has killed a spider in the bathroom. God said He really meant that Sixth Commandment, no exceptions.
<- Not a lot of rich folk, either. Says He gave them fair warning.
Well, gotta go. Gandhi is hosting a mandatory seminar on veganism then Jesus himself is playing in a test match against several of the newcomers. Who knew, God is a big cricket fan.
|Jesus is quite the all-rounder|