Saturday, August 08, 2015

Republican Debate Circus

I didn't watch the debate last Thursday. Actually, that is not true. I did catch about 10 seconds, Ben Carson was talking and I got so bored I switched back to the erectile dysfunction commercial I had left.

That fact is not a defect because had I watched it my opinions would have been colored by the general loathing I have for the whole gang. By studying various postmortems I can synthesize a clearer picture of the total effect than I could get by just watching it.

Donald Trump
Clearly, Roger Ailes had given his employees orders to cut Trump up like a hog at a Texas barbeque. Trump behaved as you'd expect, like the 14 year-old man-child he is. Still open is the question whether conservative men will like his combativeness or be angry he attacked Megyn Kelly because they all want to fuck her.
I couldn't find a similar photo of Walter Cronkite.
Whatever, the debate centered around Trump which makes all the others look small by comparison.

Bush, Walker: Biggest Losers
The best thing Scott Walker's supporters are saying about his performance is that he didn't suck so badly he can't recover. By all accounts ¡Jeb! Bush looked like a fawn standing next to the lion Donald. He was hesitant, nervous, and just plain looked scared.

Christie-Paul Cat Fight
The one bit of the debate I wanted to see was the Chris Christie-Rand Paul dust up. It was a fun bit of theater that could have been better if they had been standing next to each other and not separated by seven other men. May I suggest the September debate include a Christie-Paul cage match.

Cruz: Runt of the Litter
Poor Ted Cruz. The only thing people remember about him is that everyone, including the moderators, were ignoring him. He got the least time. Most of the Google searches were about whether he was even qualified to be President.

Carson: Ms. Congeniality
Ben Carson came off as a really nice guy (all I saw was boring guy). Unfortunately, as Leo Durocher once observed, "Nice guys finish last." Nice don't win Republican elections.

Kasich, Rubio: Pundit Popular
Pundits thought John Kasich did well with the audience forgetting he had the home court advantage. Pundits also think that Marco Rubio was the winner in that he was everything pundits love - he was polished and issue orientated. To normal people that translates to robotic and dull.

Kiddie Table Review
Carly Fiorina was the night's clear winner and boosted her chances of the Vice-Presidential nod. Not watching it, my impression of Carly is that I didn't realize that she's really short. Rick Perry forget how long he had been governor of Texas proving again that "smart glasses" don't make a dumb guy intelligent.

Biggest Losers
The Republican Party if the brutal assault on Donald Trump turns him into a spiteful third party candidate.

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