Thursday, July 23, 2015

Tournament of Fools

I love a good bracket tournament and Daniel Donner at DailyKos has a doozie.
Round One
No upsets in the Lunatic bracket (left). In the Toady bracket (right) there is a chance that perennial suck-up Rick Perry could defeat the Bible thumping snake oil salesman from Arkansas.

Round Two
Ted Cruz will keep his nose firmly stuck up Donald's ass making Trump the easy winner. Rand Paul is a master of the unforced error; it will be close but Marco will bore him to death for the win. Scott Walker will decimate Ben Carson as Carson will spend all his money on diamond tiaras for himself. Neither Perry or the Huckster have a chance against Bush.

Final Four
Here's where it gets interesting. Trump will shoot 40-foot alley-oops to himself every time he gets the ball while Rubio will stick to a stodgy four-corner defense hoping to win by a score of 2-0. Trump wins 162-2.

Bush v. Walker is the marquee match up. Bush is as popular as chlamydia while Walker is as likeable as a horseradish scone. Each will try to razzle dazzle the other by changing their positions on every issue. It will be a dizzying affair, literally, as each will run frantically around in circles throwing money at the audience. I give it to Bush by a nickel.

Bush or Trump? Trump or Bush? Will it be the ultimate sycophant or the consummate billionaire asshole? Both will throw money around like confetti while claiming to be fiscal conservatives. Bush will try to sound rational but anyone going into a match with Trump will end up looking like a wacko. Trump will sling enough shit to cover Mount Everest. I can't see Bush surviving.
But whatever the outcome, there won't be enough soap in the world to clean up Republicans after this party.

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