Friday, December 21, 2012

Inside the Mind of Wayne LaPierre

His mind is a scary place to visit but here is what the head of the NRA was thinking during his presser.

"The NRA has refrained from comment..."
(Until we could design a forum with the proper tone of death and foreboding.)
"The truth is that our society is populated by an unknown number of genuine monsters....They walk among us every day."
(I know this because I see them all the time in our NRA offices and, let me tell you, they are some scary dudes.)
"There exists in this country a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells, and sows, violence against its own people."
(Remember to visit the NRA store where you can buy everything from 50-caliber bottle openers to NRA baby bibs. And, brand new, we're selling a handgunner's backpack that allows you to easily carry enough weapons and ammo to quickly kill dozens of people. As our website says, we promise it will "heighten your efficiency and increase your enjoyment.")
"Then there's the blood-soaked slasher films like 'American Psycho' and 'Natural Born Killers.'"(Natural Born Killers was produced by Jane Hamsher so it's more evil than all those blood-soaked Clint Eastwood films.)
"I call on Congress today to act immediately, to appropriate whatever is necessary to put armed police officers in every school."
(There are almost 100,000 schools in the United States so we are talking about creating a new federal force seven times larger than FBI and ATF armed agents, combined. Given my opinion of federal "jack-booted thugs," I plan to oppose this idea if it ever actually is introduced in Congress.)

No comments: