Saturday, November 03, 2012

Top Silly Causes of Hurricane Sandy

Hurricane Sandy was spawned over the very hot (over 85 degrees F) waters of the southern Caribbean. It tracked up the warmest parts of the Gulf Stream (still over 80 degrees) until it fell into a loop in the Arctic Jet Stream and a negatively tilted low pressure trough that turned it inland where it made landfall at the astronomical high tide.

Or, you can believe any of these alternative theories.

God's Punishment for Gay Marriage
Christian preachers content that God punished New Yorkers for not stoning gays by sending a storm to kill heterosexual conservatives living on Staten Island.

Allah the Film Critic
An alternative theory of deity as mass murderer says that the Muslim god, Allah, sent Sandy as a divine retribution review of a badly made movie about Mohammad.

Barack and the Hurricane Machine
Some Republicans are contenting that President Obama used a completely unclassified scientific research station in Alaska to manipulate the weather to create and steer a hurricane as the ultimate October Surprise to win reelection.

Iran and the Hurricane Machine
Exact same theory out of Syria, only this time it is Iranian scientists and a top secret weather weapon. Just two months ago Iran's President was accusing the West of using weather weapons to create a drought in Iran.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If there was a god that did all the things believers claim it does, then it is at least as likely that the hurricane was random punishment of people for being overall narrow-minded jerks.