Year In Review: Coulda Been Worse

Because, what the hell, everyone else is doing it.

Wars: 1 down, 1 to go, 1 pending
The United States has finally gotten out of Iraq having long ago forgotten why we invaded them in the first place (WMDs, remember?). Iraq is now free to devolve back into the sectarian civil war they have indulged in for decades before occupation. The Afghanistan War continues even though there is no real goal and no real plan.
Will Israel start things by bombing Iran's nuclear facilities and then pass it on to the US troops to do all the actual dying? Will Ahmadinejad get bored with the waiting and start a war by blocking the Strait of Hormuz? Or will a freshly elected Mittster invade to get some love from Republican neo-cons?

Terrorism: OBL is DOA
Bin Laden was killed this year, although having to wait through ten years of failure to get there takes some of the fizz out of the champagne.

Arab Winter
The democracy movement in Egypt has been captured by a military dictatorship that is more brutal than the Mubarak government was. Syria's president is engaged in genocide against Syrians. Tunisia seems to be doing okay; we'll see about Libya.

Unemployment: Inching towards full employment

It used to be that full employment meant that everybody had a job. Then it was decided that having a reservoir of people desperate for work was a good thing (for businesses) so "full employment" was defined as an unemployment rate of 3%.  In recent years that number has been inching up. The current definition of "full employment" (NAIRU) is nine million people (6%) without work.

Republican Politics

The Republican presidential field is the biggest group of stooges in politics since Larry, Moe, and Shemp filmed a two-reeler titled Three Dark Horses.

Marriage
If it weren't for gays, nobody would be getting married nowadays, meaning most Family Values Republicans are really anti-marriage.

Social Equality: a bad year
The Great Disenfranchisement continues as Republicans set up barriers to prevent the poor, minorities, students, and the elderly from voting. American citizens of Hispanic decent are being deported. A new law allows confinement without trial of American citizens.

It Coulda Been Worse

Republicans could control all levels of government. As it is, they control Congress, the Supreme Court, the Federal Reserve, and the military.

Merchants of War

No country in the world sells more weapons of war than the United States. In fact, the US manufactures and sells more military hardware to the developing world than every other country in the world combined.

Click image.

Tanks and planes are disposable commodities (the goal being to blow up the other guy's shit), the biggest profits come if you can supply both sides of a conflict.

The US is selling $11 billion worth of jets to wanna-be petty Shi'ite dictator Nouri al-Maliki of Iraq. The US is also selling $29 billion worth of new jets to the petty Sunni monarchs of Saudi Arabia. Iraq is going to want to play with its new toys. The Saudis are going to want to protect their Sunni brothers in Iraq. The chances the two countries are going to start shooting down each others planes are high. You know what that means?


Profits, Baby!!!

Who Will Win the Iowa Caucus?

As a rule, the Iowa Caucus is predictive of nothing. Winning means little, losing means less. The most important thing about the caucus is that it weeds out the wastrel candidates who devote too many resources to Iowa and can't compete in the rest of the country.

Virginia GOP Ballot

Republicans have given me an early Christmas present. Only Mitt and Ron Paul qualified for the ballot in Virginia. Most states pretty much allows anyone with a pulse on the ballot (New Hampshire has 33 Republicans on their presidential primary ballot). Virginia is more strict, requiring 10,000 signatures with names from all 13 congressional districts to qualify.

Ten thousand is not an impossible number. I've seen all volunteer efforts gather twice that number in two months. If you are lazy just $50,000 will hire paid troops to gather the signatures.

Conservatives are bouncing between morning the absence of Gingrich and Perry, bemoaning a choice restricted to a Mormon Communist and a neo-Nazi, and weaving conspiracy theories that Romney supporters rigged the system. Reading the comments on RedState are very entertaining.

Gingrich and Perry tried but failed to qualify. All the other Republicans that have been showing up at all those debated didn't even try. Gingrich is whining about how unfair it is while Perry is threatening to sue. It is beyond me how someone thinks they can run an entire country when they can't even negotiate that nation's election rules.

Why They Run: Republicans for President

There are some back stories that explain the motivation of the Republican presidential candidates.

Mitt Is Still Proving Himself to Daddy

The most telling thing about Mitt Romney is that he has a campaign poster for his father, George, on his campaign bus. Mitt has been running for office for two decades and mostly a failure at it. His father forced the 45 year-old Mitt to run for Senate in 1994, going so far as to move in with his son to hector him. Mitt's inability to find a permanent policy platform shows he has no political motivation to run. His father long ago told Mitt that he wasn't worth shit unless he was President and poor Mitt is still trying to please Daddy.

Paul the Anarchist

Ron Paul has said that the Civil War was wrong because the government had no right to end slavery, although he would not have been against people buying slaves to free them. He has opposed the Civil Rights Act because he believes people should have the right to indulge their race hatred without interference. These opinions has made Paul a hero to neo-Nazis who don't want anarchy so much as an oppressive dictatorship.

Book Tour Campaigns
Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich independently came up with the same brilliant plan to con people into donating money to pay for their book tours by pretending to run for President. Neither expected nor wanted to be declared front runner but it has helped book sales.

Professional Nags
Bachmann and Santorum are just perpetual scolds who want a wider audience for their reproval. 

Taxing the Rich

Republicans contend that lowering taxes on the rich will create jobs. This chart (from Centers for American Progress) shows job growth (Y-axis) related to the tax rate. Using 60 years of actual data it show that lower taxes tend to depress employment while higher taxes tend to encourage jobs creations.

The reason for this is not simple. Lower top tax rates allows wealth to concentrate unhealthily, creating a feeble economy. Also, the Republican argument against welfare works for the wealthy as well. When oligarchs don't have to work for their riches they tend towards idleness. Higher taxes act as an incentive for the wealthy to work for a vibrant economy so they can pay their taxes and still be stinking rich.

The lie that lower taxes are good for the country dates back to the Laffer Curve. Arthur Laffer started with the notion that a 0% tax rate will raise no taxes and a 100% tax rate won't either since people won't work for nothing. He connected those two data points with the simplest possible Bell Curve, slapped his name on it, and watched Ronald Reagan build an entire religion upon it.

The Mayan Calendar

It turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse. ~ Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The countdown clock begins today. In just 366 days (leap year, you know) the world is coming to an end.

The Mayans were calendar nuts. They had a solar calender (Haab) that consisted of 18 months that were twenty days long plus a five day festival of human sacrifice to make up the difference. They had a lunar calendar (Tzolkin) that had twenty months with 13 days each that matched the human gestation cycle.

Those two calendars were merged into a 52 year cycle that was used for divination. The end of each 52 year cycle was was a time of renewal when household utensils were destroyed and fires extinguished.

Then there is the famous Long Count Calendar. The basic Long Count Calendar Year is 5,125 years duration. Twenty of those achieve a 26,000 year epoch marked by the full precession of the winter solstice alignment with the galactic center. According to the Mayans there are five such epochs totally some 130,000 years.

The last Long Count Calendar Year began on August 11, 3114 BCE and is due to end on December 21, 2012. It marks the end of the fifth (and final) epoch when the sun at winter solstice will again align with the center of the Milky Way.

A Side Note: 26,000 years ago was the height of the last Ice Age. Humans had recently driven Neanderthals into extinction.

What exactly is supposed to happen next year depends on your imagination. Such Mayan writings that have been translated suggest climatic upheaval. Add the Mayans to the Christian belief that the world has just got to end any day now (Really, it's just gotta!) and Republican certainty that armageddon is better than four more years of Barack Obama. We have the perfect storm for the End of Days prediction business.

The Next Not Romney

Newt Gingrich has worn out his four weeks atop the polls by saying truly insane things like he would arrest judges who disagree with him. Yet the thought of Mitt Romney still fills the mouths of Republican rank and file with partially digested vomit. It's time for a new Golden Boy.

Ta-da! It's Ron Paul's turn leading the polls.

It's fun watching the panic from the Tea Partiers as they lurch from one idiot to another searching for a substitute for Nelson Rockefeller Mitt Romney.

Worst Year Ever: Football Department

You have to be really good to be really bad all year and not get benched.

George Blanda (1962) - 42 Interceptions

Aaron Rodgers has thrown six interception in 13 Green Bay wins. In the young AFL, one out of ever ten passes Blanda attempted was caught by the defense. But the Houston Oilers still managed to finish first with an 11-3 record. Blanda went on to lead the league in interceptions the next three years as well. He retired at the age of 48 and is in the NFL Hall of Fame.

Davey O'Brien (1940) - minus 1.8 yards/rush

Quarterbacks are not noted for their running ability (and, no, Tim Tebow is not a quarterback). Back in the day of leather helmets when concussions were unheard of because nobody was stupid enough to use their heads as a weapon, Davey O'Brien was an outstanding passer. He averaged an unheard of 120 yards passing per game. (Drew Brees throws 336 yards per game). Unfortunately, Davey loved to run the ball too. He led his team in carries in 1940 (100 rushes), losing 180 yards in the effort. I'm sure a lot of those would be recorded as sacks nowadays but still. His team had a 1-10 record and he retired at the end of the season to become an FBI agent. Paid better.

Dave Carr (2002) - 76 sacks

This is a record that belongs to an offensive line that included two rookies. Poor Dave Carr was a rookie himself in 2002. Every seventh time he dropped back to pass he was slammed to the turf. And so his suffering never ended, poor Dave Carr played every second of every game. He also fumbled 23 times because sometimes you just have to scream, "Here, chase the ball instead of me!"

Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should. ~ Jurassic Park

Maybe the scariest news I've come across in years is that a team of scientists have genetically altered the Avian Flu to make it a highly contagious plague virus.

The H5N1 virus is a bird flu that only extremely rarely makes the species jump to infect humans. When it does make the jump it kills half the people it infects.

The scientists asked the question, "how hard can it be to convert H5N1 into a human specific pathogen."  In the process they also accidentally made it an airborne virus with the potential to kill hundreds of millions of people should it ever be released. Now they need to publish their work to get their Nobel Prize.

The scientists are reassuring. They insist they will keep their killer bug under lock and key. Of course once they publish their techniques any microbiologist with a petri dish and a few ferrets can copy their efforts. They insist that the H5 strain is incapable of producing a pandemic because it hasn't in the past. Of course since they have been playing with the genetics all bets are off. They insist they only did this to encourage research into vaccines for H5N1. Of course, having invented the disease they would be the ones to hire to cure it.

Kind of reminds me of the discredited(?) rumors about AIDS being a weaponized simian virus that escaped the labs.

Homefront Reinforcements

It was vital to withdraw troops from Iraq by mid-December. With the bowl season upon us and its demands for honor guards and fighter jet flyovers the need for homefront reinforcements was never greater.

The Russian Army already has a cheerleader brigade.

Operation Wetback V2.0

In the 1950's began a program of going door-to-door in border states arresting everyone suspected of being an illegal alien. Hundreds of thousands of Hispanics workers were rounded up and deported to Mexico during Operation Wetback. There was extensive physical abuse as Hispanics were crowded into concentration camps prior to deportation. One example was the deportation ship Mercurio where 500 detainees were jammed onto a boat built to hold 80. Thousands of America-born citizens of Hispanic decent were caught up in the dragnet and deported as well.

That was then, today we haves Operation Secure Communities. This program works with local police to round up Hispanics so they can be fingerprinted and processed for deportation. Hundreds of thousands of people have been swept up including thousands of American citizens. While, officially, the program is supposed to identify alien felons, the only crime a large percentage have committed is DWL (Driving While Latino).

Return of Debtors Prisons

Those who made the laws have apparently supposed, that every deficiency of payment is the crime of the debtor. But the truth is, that the creditor always shares the act, and often more than shares the guilt. ~ Samuel Johnson (1758)

The 21st century Gilded Age has seen the return of many long forgotten ills. Governance is again becoming the exclusive domain of the wealthy. The laws against child labor are under attack. And debtors prisons are returning.

Considered a relic of the Victorian Age and Dickensian novels, it has long been illegal to imprison someone because of an inability to pay his debts. Not any more. The tricks are endless:

• Demand a debtor appear in a distant city for a needless deposition and then imprison the debtor for failure to appear (an Order of Capias).
• Obtain a court order for payment of a small debt and then demanding imprisonment until the debt is paid.
• Bill prisoners for room and board and then imprison the poor indefinitely for failure to pay.
• More than 5,000 arrest warrants for debt were issued in 2010 in just nine counties in the United States.

At least in the old days there were separate debtors prisons where poor unfortunates were held together and could care for each other; families were even allowed to stay together. In these modern times, people whose only crime is debt are tossed into the general prison population with hardened thugs and rapists.

Tebowmania and Other Jokes

Finders Keepers

Iran is keeping the CIA drone that dropped in on them a few days ago, which undoubtedly breaches some schoolyard international espionage rule. Iran says it stole the drone while the US claims the toy crashed. But if you look at the pristine condition of the drone it is clear it had the softest of soft landings. The CIA drone program is known to be riddled with computer viruses. It is probable Iran succeeded in hacking the drone's Windows 95 software.

Tebowmania

There are only two possible explanations for the series of bizarre comebacks that the Denver Broncos have had the last two months. One is that there really is a God who has decided to show his power through a series of pigskin miracles. Much more likely is that the NFL is rigging the games to create a compelling storyline for the season. Don't get me started on the Tebowing phenomena except to note it is certainly Satanic. (God couldn't save those starving children because he was watching a football game.)


Republicans Cut Welfare for Millionaires
Not all welfare, mind you. Millionaires will still get their tax breaks, subsidies, and outright gifts. Cutting corporate welfare is going too far. But Sen. Mitch McConnell is pledging to eliminate foodstamps for millionaires.

The Failing Euro Romance

With me it's all er nuthin'.
Is it all er nuthin' with you?
It cain't be "in between"
It cain't be "now and then"
No half and half romance will do! ~ Oklahoma!

The problem with Europe is mostly corrupt bankers. European bankers realized that they could profit in the same manner their Yank counterparts did a few years ago. So they are now successfully threatening to destroy whole countries unless they are given free money.

Beyond that is the inherent instability of the Eurozone structure where the currency was united while the political systems remained totally separate. Each individual country sought to exploit the system to their individual benefit.

Greece needed cash. In the old days they would devalue their currency but locked into the Euro they needed more creative ways (conveniently provided by Goldman Sachs conmen). German bankers needed no risk/high yield investments. Pre-Euro they would have had to finance some North Sea wildcatters. In the Eurozone they could buy high priced Greek junk bonds backed by the full faith and credit of the German Central Bank.

When each country had its own currency, stability was achieved by each drachma and lira finding its own level. Now, stability requires united action where union does not exist.

The half and half Euro romance was doomed in the same way that Ado Annie was destined to leave Will for the next sweet talking man to wander by.

I'm just a girl who cain't say no,
I'm in a terrible fix
I always say "come on, let's go!"
Jist when I orta say nix.

It's scary how the global financial crisis is most crisply described with the lyrics from a 1943 Broadway musical.

Greece (l) and Goldman Sachs banker (r)

The Last Time a Congressional Committee Subpoenaed Former Senator

The Jon Corzine fraud scheme ("I simply do not know where the money is") that made $1.2 billion disappear without a trace has led to the observation that the last time a former senator has been subpoenaed to testify before Congress was over 100 years ago.

What happened to the money is easy. It was stolen by MF Global bankers to place bets on the futures market trying to win back the money lost in previous bets. Only the gamblers lost that money too.

The more interest question is what happened that last time. 

1908 Electric Boat Scandal
Two former senators, Marion and Matthew Butler (not related), were hauled before a Congressional committee to explain their actions. There were being accused of unscrupulous practice of wining and dining senators to win Navy contracts to build submarines. In other words, what was a scandal in 1908 (former congressmen lobbying their colleagues to gain an unfair advantage, influence peddling) is now such a common practice that many people run for Senate just to get the high paying lobbyist jobs later.

They were an odd couple. Marion was a progressive who wanted the Federal government to nationalize the railroads. He lost his Senate seat when the white supremacy movement swept out North Carolina reformers in 1900.

Matthew made his bones during the 1876 race riot known as the Hamburg Massacre where a black militia protecting the mostly black town of Hamburg, South Carolina was attacked by large mob of well armed whites (they even had cannon). One militiaman was killed during the fighting, others were captured and executed. The subsequent rape, pillage, and arson wiped the town of Hamburg off the face of the earth. Matthew went to the US Senate the next year on, basically, the KKK ticket.

The image on the monument reads "Niggers Reformed at Hamburg, SC"

Paper? You Can't Get No Stinking Papers

The People's Republic of Wisconsin requires citizens to show a photo ID to vote.

Wisconsin voting line, perhaps.

• To get a photo ID you need to provide a birth certificate. 
• To get a birth certificate (according to the form) you need to provide a photo ID.

According to Wisconsin Commissar of State Security the instructions on the form need not be followed except, of course, when they must be followed. The goal is not to prevent people from voting but to prevent the "wrong people" from voting.

The definition of "wrong people" is simple - students, the elderly, liberals, and anyone who doesn't love Comrade Governor Scott Walker.

Solid Gold Medicine

O would some power the gift to give us to see ourselves as others see us. ~ Robbie Burns

The Guardian has a fascinating article about a Brit's adventure in the US medical system. Basically, the Republicans are right that American medicine is the best in the world. The problem is that it is also the most venal system on the face of the earth.

For 99% of people and cases American solid gold medicine is no better than your standard chrome-plated doctoring available in the rest of the industrial world. Except in the United States everything is a la carte and nothing is affordable. As a result, for most insured Americans health insurance is the biggest single expense in their lives. More expensive than owning a car, more expensive than owning a home. And for tens of millions of Americans, any kind of health care is financially impossible.

There are a few rare cases when the American system will save a life where British and French doctors would fail. There are far more examples where Americans are priced out of simple, chrome-plated procedures leading to extensive years of suffering and early deaths. And for tens of millions of Americans effective health care is financially impossible.

People die in America because people die in America. ~ Rick Santorum on the American health care system

Then, there are the insurance companies that do everything possible to deny medical procedures to people who have paid dearly for their insurance.

A Personal Story
A couple years ago my father had a severe case of food poisoning. You know the drill - projectile vomiting and projectile diarrhea. I took him to the emergency room. In most other countries my father would have gotten IV fluids, stool and blood tests would have been done to eliminate other possible causes and he would have gone home after a few hours.


In that American hospital he got all of that and more. They performed x-rays, sonograms, and more. They looked and looked until they found "an anomaly." They had no idea what the anomaly was but decided he had to be hospitalized for more tests. And they did more tests. And still more. He recovered from the food poisoning in a day but they kept him in the hospital for nearly a week because they wanted him conveniently close for all that testing. They even considered exploratory surgery as they tried to solve the mystery of the anomaly.

Finally, they released him (in part because we rebelled at the idea of cutting him open "on spec") with a working theory that the anomaly was probably scar tissue from a three decades old operation.

It took him longer to recover from the enforced confinement in a hospital than it did for the original food poisoning.

Hot Teachers

Where did Rick Santorum go to school?

Santorum then said that if same sex marriage was legalized then “their sexual activity” would be seen as “equal” to heterosexual relationships and it would be taught in schools. ~ Source

The only place where "sexual activity" is routinely taught in schools is badly made porn.

Newt's Turn

Republicans don't want Mitt Romney. The reason there has been a succession of clowns and misfits leading the Republican field is that the rank and file is insanely desperate for anyone other than Mitt.

• Really, in what sane universe would anyone think Michele Bachmann or Donald Trump was presidential material?

Romney's juggernaut includes an opposition research team of legendary proportions. Cain's bimbo parade and Perry's "Niggerhead" were not accidents or the work of diligent journalists. Romney has probably hired half the PIs on the planet to dig into anyone who has even an unreasonable chance to steal the nomination from Romney.

• When potential rational candidates like Mitch Daniels and Chris Christie drop out without even trying I have to wonder what backdoor threats were issued.

Now it is Newt's turn. The flood of mud to pour on Newt over the next month will be epic (not that he doesn't deserve it). And, like all the previous Mitt-led smear campaigns this year, it will be eminently entertaining.

There can be only one and, in the end, Mitt Romney will be the most thoroughly despised Republican candidate for president since Richard Nixon. 

San Diego's Inferiority Complex

Ever since I was a child, San Diego has suffered with the thought it was Los Angeles' snot-nosed kid sister (Baja LA, if you will). Even as the region grew from a sleepy little navy town to a major metropolis it has always felt dwarfed by the great city to the north. (I'm sure Trenton feels the same way about Philadelphia.)

Sure, the San Diego Zoo is world famous and even Angelenos don't know where the LA Zoo is. And Sea World swallowed LA's Marineland of the Pacific back in the 1980's like a stray anchovy.

But, LA's college football teams are better than the San Diego Chargers. Malibu has better beaches than La Jolla. LA has a galaxy of stars in Hollywood while San Diego's biggest celebrity is a giant fish.

Technically, Shamu is a mammal.

The Getty Museum alone has more fine art than every museum and art gallery in San Diego. LA has world class graffiti that actually sells for thousands of dollars while San Diego is still in the pre-neanderthal spray painting lame initials on walls stage.


All of that is to explain San Diego's recent passion for public art. The stated goal is something on par with the Eiffel Tower or the Sydney Opera House. They want a photo op that people will travel around the world to gawk at. And, they want some big piece of shit that just screams "We're better than you, suck on this LA!"

One try was "The Kiss" (actual title "Ultimate Surrender" sounds like a lesbian nude wrestling league). A photo realistic rendition of a famous Life Magazine picture at the end of World War II (taken in New York) that stands a grotesque 25 feet tall. It is impossible in a photograph to show the disgusting kitschiness of this work. It was only supposed to be on loan to San Diego until 2010 but it is still there because no one else in the freaking world will take it.

Most visitors try to peek up her skirt.

A failed attempt at iconic art was to bridge the main road to the downtown convention center. Called "Pleasure Point," the sculpture was to use junk boats in a jumble that looked more like "Marina After Hurricane" than anything pleasant. The public attitude (generally WTF!!!) killed the project but a smaller version hovers over the entrance to to San Diego Museum of Contemporary Art.

It takes guts just to walk under this.

The latest plan to make the world forget the Pyramids is a couple of sail-like structures. At 500 feet, "Wings of Freedom" would be the tallest buildings in earthquake prone San Diego. Unlike the Sydney Opera House (where they preform operas) or the Eiffel Tower that offers a unique view of Paris, This sculpture would do nothing more than sit there collection sea gull poop.

The original plan was for an amphitheater but that was deemed too expensive. So the current idea is a useless lump of metal that will cost half as much as something useful.

People's Republic of Wisconsin

Gov. Scott Walker, facing recall, is determined to quell protests in his state. Hence his new decree:

Groups of four or more people must obtain permits for all activity and displays in state buildings and apply for those permits at least 72 hours in advance. (source)

So now, your average family of four requires a permit before touring the state capitol. If you and a buddy bump into a couple friends in the Rotunda you now face having your friendly chat broken up by Capitol Police for lacking the proper permits.

"Four or more" is the standard phrase used to ban public meetings in a dictatorship.

Mark Twain Explains the News

Newt Surges
Gingrich has this big, fat polling lead in Florida. Since March, the Florida polls have had the following people in front: Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, and Herm Cain. Florida polls are less accurate than reading tea leaves.

Mark Twain Explains Republican polling trends.
H'aint we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town? ~ Huckleberry Finn

Bachmann on Science
Michele B. says that not teaching creationism in schools is censorship (because, of course, everybody hates censorship). So is not teaching alchemy and not teaching astrology. Students should be taught the theory of a flat earth and round earth equally and allowed to decided for themselves.

Mark Twain Explains

Newt's Grey Legions
TPM has a stupid article about how Gingrich' strongest support comes from the elderly. Ah, duh. So did McCain's. So has every Republican since Teddy Roosevelt.

Mark Twain Explains
All Republicans are insane, but only the Democrats and the Mugwumps can perceive it.

Chick-fil-A: Eat More Crow

Chick-fil-A is mostly noted for their cutesy "Eat Mor Chikin" slogan, complete with the misspellings. Some know it as a kind of cult.

Chick-fil-A's Corporate Purpose is 'To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us' ~ COO Dan Cathy

Bo-Muller Moore is an Vermont artist who loves his kale. He loves it so much he sells a line of t-shirts reading Eat More Kale. You'd think it wouldn't be a big deal since no one is dumb enough to mistake a kale clothing reference for a chicken sandwich.

But Chick-fil-A have brought the full force of the corporate attorneys and, no doubt, an angry, wrathful God down upon poor Mr. Moore. It seems the company is claiming ownership of every use of the words "eat more" (spelled correctly).

Eat More is the name of a Hershey candy bar.
Eat More Brook Trout is on a t-shirt sold by an Idaho fisherman.
Eat More Cheese is a Green Bay Packers fan site.
You can find the phrase "eat more" connected to just about every healthy, and a lot of unhealthy, food.
There is even a line of Eat More Shit shirts for Chick-fil-A to go after.

If I haven't angered the Chick-fil-A priests/lawyers yet, how about this image.

Note: the Happy Chicken suicide Cult is an unconnected blog that had the perfect graphic. My deepest apologies if Chick-fil-A comes after you now.

Paulson's Helped Hedge Funds Cheat

If non-government folk did this it would be a crime. Not that government folk would ever prosecute Wall Street denizens because we all know that are pure and without sin.

Back in 2008, Bush's Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson was telling the public that Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae stock was solid. That same day behind closed doors, he was (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) telling hedge fund managers and his old Goldman Sachs buddies that just maybe the Feds were going to wipe out the stock equity of the two mortgage companies.

The crime is insider trading and no effort has been made to find out who profited from Paulson's secret disclosure. Paulson's actions constitute conspiracy, allegedly.

Hat tip to Atrios for discovering this.

Gov. Brownback Sucks

Lots of politicians have thin skins, which is weird given their chosen profession ought to make them insensitive to criticism.

Sam Brownback is one of those hyper religious politicians who believes God ordained him to impose strict morality on others while ignoring the Ten Commandments himself. As a senator, Brownback took money from pornographers and crooks and lived in a congressional dorm where he slept with eight men. Called "C Street House," it was known for group prayer and sex scandals. Brownback ran for governor of Kansas last year.

As governor, Brownback has had two major concerns. Imposing government ownership over every uterus in the state and monitoring social media for any sign of disrespect.

On the latter point, when some teenaged girl Tweeted that he sucks to her friends the power of the State of Kansas jumped into action. The Governor's office investigated the girl, discovered where she went to school, and made a phone call to that school's principal that was sufficiently threatening that Principal Karl Krawitz jerked the girl out of class and gave her an hour long browbeating where he demanded she apologize.

The letter was due today but the girl has decided to refuse to apologize. The girl believes that she has a right to her opinion and she has a right to express that opinion.

Brownback does, in fact, suck. This is an objective fact. He is also extremely stupid. By making a big deal out of this, Brownback has spread the story of his suckiness around the world.

As always, Comedy Central has the best insight on this.

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback is, by all accounts, safe and relatively unharmed following a harrowing Twitter attack from an 18-year-old high school student last week. ~ Comedy Central's Indecision

The War Against the Poor

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. ~ Anatole France

source

Not to be confused with the War on Poverty, which is so last century. The war against the poor is the organized effort of the elite to drive the nation's poorest citizens into hiding.

There is no thought given to eliminate poverty because, to the 1%, an expanding class in abject poverty make for a bottomless pit of minimum wage workers. The war included disenfranchisement and insisting that the poor start paying taxes.

But the biggest effort in this war is the battle to ensure the poor cannot gather together for mutual support and safety. Whenever the poor peaceably assemble there is the chance they may talk or even revolt. So the police are tasked with the never ending job of breaking up homeless camps and driving the poor, like human cockroaches, into the shadows.

(This is not about reducing crime. Homeless camps tend to be mostly peaceful because: a) the residents look out for each other, and b) there ain't much of anything worth stealing.)

The War Against the Poor ~ Mother Jones

Black Friday

Maybe because I'm a cranky socialist curmudgeon but here are a few things that bug the fucking hell out of me.

•  People who go shopping after midnight because the stores tell them to.
• Stores that refuse to pay double-time for forcing their workers to work after midnight on Thanksgiving.
• That people have died during Black Friday stampedes. 
• Bargain hunting riots that include murder.
• Bargain hunting rioters that only use pepper spray.
• The fact that many of these shopping riots happen at that blight on the human existence, Walmart.

Turkey Day Football

Going all local and non-political with a look at the San Diego Chargers.

Best of the Best
Dan Fouts - Quarterback

The best player in team history. Full stop.

LaDainian Tomlinson - Running Back
One of the top six best running backs in NFL history.

Lance Alworth - Receiver
Bambi. Graceful leaper with sure hands. If not for football he would have kicked ass in ballet.

Worst of the Best
These guys are not as good as their reps.

Philip Rivers - Quarterback
At the start of the season many people were calling him the best QB in team history. He still outstanding and tough as nails. There are, of course, the interceptions and all that losing.
Ryan Mathews - Running Back
Better than average yardage but fumbles a lot. Usually has more fumbles in a game than Tomlinson had in a season.

Best of the Worst
John Hadl - Quarterback

Hadl (r) with Sid Gilman (l) and Lance Alworth (c)

His stats suck. Completed barely half his pass attempts, threw interceptions at the same rate as Ryan Leaf, and had a QB rating in the 60s. But Hadl was a winner.
Hank Bauer - Running Back
Six years. Only 123 career carries for an anemic 3.1 yards per carry average. But he scored 20 touchdowns in his limited touches. And Hank was a suicide gunner on special teams. 

Worst of the Worst

Gilbride and Leaf

Ryan Leaf - Quarterback
Drafted second to Peyton Manning and ahead of Fred Taylor and Randy Moss. A man-child who was more child than man. Is generally considered the worst quarterback in the history of the NFL.
Kevin Gilbride - Head Coach
The coach who made Ryan Leaf the man he was. Still considered an offensive genius because of four years in Houston in the 1990's when it was really Warren Moon who was responsible.

Special Teams Best 
Speedy Duncan - Returner
Better by a hair than Darren Sproles, which is saying a lot.
Mike Scifres - Punter
Better by a foot (actually a yard) than Darren Bennett, the man he replaced.
Nate Kaeding - Place Kicker
Only better than John Carney because he's younger and his leg hasn't aged yet.

Special Teams Worst
Ray Wersching - Place Kicker
Back when Dan Fouts was young and learning his trade the Chargers had a kicker who missed everything outside of 40 yards and was so inaccurate they didn't even trust him to kick extra points.
Jeff West - Punter
Another guy who handicapped Fouts. Averaged only 38 yards a kick.

The Day Innocence Died

November 22, 1963 was the day the last vestige of American innocence died. The United States was never the great beacon of liberty it saw in itself (see Slavery, the Philippines concentration camps), but at least we had our illusions. The entirety of the 20th century seemed dedicated to burning away America's goodness.

The Red Scare

There is no time to waste on hairsplitting over infringement of liberty. ~ Washington Post, 1920

The end of World War I saw the American government searching for a new enemy to fight. The chosen target was labor. Foreign Communist anarchist terrorists, the nation was told, were planning on bombing all we hold dear. Workers striking for fair wages were really waging war on the United States. Thousands of Americans were rounded up and imprisoned for attending labor union meetings with no regards for legal niceties like warrants or due process or just cause. Government whim was sufficient. The Red Scare had one lasting effect, it was when a 24 year-old Justice Department lawyer earned his chops; his name was...

J. Edgar Hoover

 I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

Hoover loved to play at being a cop. He never was one. Hoover was a lifelong bureaucrat who built a reputation by claiming other people's successes. But mostly, Hoover loved spying on Americans. He spied on Americans who might be Communist, he peeked in the bedroom windows of the famous and influential looking for dirty, sometimes for blackmail but often just because he was a voyeur.

Hoover didn't blackmail for money but to get more power. He sought power because he was convinced America was filled with enemies. Blacks, gays (even though J. Edgar was a closet fag), entertainers, teachers, and liberals were all possible communist spies who had to be rooted out and destroyed.

Before computers, Hoover invented the concept of compiling dossiers on regular American citizens. A system that continues to be expanded and enhanced to this day.

CIA

CIA shoelace code.

If the FBI was a sledgehammer, the CIA was a scalpel. While the FBI searched the US for enemies, the CIA used innocent Americans as lab rats. Even as late as, well now, the CIA has used science to refine and enhance their ability to torture people. There is no law, foreign or domestic, the CIA doesn't regularly break. Including becoming major players in the international drug trade.


McCarthyism

Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency? ~ Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy in televised hearing, 1954

Senator Joe McCarthy was a drunken lout and a failure as a Senator until he found a way to worm into America's hearts by teaching us to fear each other. The government was filled with traitors; there are Communists under every bed. That little old lady doing her laundry, is she a secret Communist? McCarthyism taught Americans there is nowhere safe from the international Communist conspiracy. It also taught us that anyone can have their lives ruined by a neighbor denouncing him as a spy.


Death of Innocence

All of the preceding century of fear and loathing was brought to a head when the dreams of Camelot were felled by the assassination of John Kennedy. JFK, in many ways, was the last hope of the United States. A dynamic young father with darling children and a glamorous wife, brought a fresh spring to a nation that had grown sour and cynical. That died, abruptly and brutally, on that sunny fall day in Texas.

Whether you believe in the miracle of the Lone Gunman or the more likely scenario of a CIA coup d'etat you have to agree that something more than one man died that day.

UC Davis Police Outrage

So casual, so carefree. Strolling down a line of peaceful protesters showering them with pepper spray as calmly as if he were spraying weedkiller on a row of prize rose bushes.

It would be comforting to believe that was one rogue cop, only it's not. There was no other cop out there saying, "Carl, don't you think that's going too far." In fact, this is standard police practice.
This video is New York City in September. Again, peaceful protesters sprayed in the face by a uniformed officer as nonchalantly as if he were picking up a stray gum wrapper. Pepper spray is not as showy as beating someone over the head with a billy club but it is equally violent.

Another common police tactic used in Oakland and Portland recently is to use police violence to stimulate riot-like conditions that justify violent suppression. One could fill a volume with photos of police violence against peaceful Occupy protesters. Here are 32 shots from New York.

In many cities in the United States, the police department is just another brutal street gang victimizing a peaceful population.

Newt the Con Artist

Gotta say I love Newt Gingrich's self defense skills. Following the reveal that Newt took $1.8 million from Freddie Mac before it went broke (Aside: Anyone who thinks the news came from Mitt Romney is absolutely right.) Newt came up with two brilliant responses.

At first, Newt said the report proves his insider Washington credentials which makes him the ultimate Washington outsider. That was a good effort that appeals to both Tea Partyiers and professional politicians.

Yesterday, Newt topped himself. To counter claims that Newt was responsible for the collapse of the mortgage market Newt is insisting he didn't do anything for the money. Newt says he only devoted an hour a month to Freddie Mac (meaning he was billing at $30,000 per hour) and that most of that time was spend just listening to his clients jabber. Freddie Mac could have gotten the same service by hiring a particularly attentive dog.

This will certainly strengthen Newt's polling surge. Republicans love a man who sticks it to fat cat bureaucrats. By boldly stealing money from Freddie Mac, Newt can position himself as the Robin Hood of modern politics. Except Newt doesn't take from the rich and give to the poor because that is socialism, Newt takes from evil government and buys expensive jewelry with it.