Tuesday, January 23, 2007

You Know You're a Lame Duck When...

  • You give a major speech about a war that has killed thousands and nobody gives a crap.
  • Expectations for your SOTU address are so low; but, still, the only way you can exceed expectations is by not showing up.
  • Even your Best Friends Forever, like Rush Limbaugh, won't bother listening to you talk.
  • The only major new initiative you can think of is a tax on health insurance.
  • Laura thinks it was funny to give you a feather covered crutch for Christmas.
  • Jenna makes "quacking" sounds when she visits.
  • The only school that wants your presidential library is a Pakistani madrassa with a major in suicide bombing.
  • You go outside at Camp David and you see vultures circling overhead.
  • You think you see webbing between your toes while taking a bath.
  • Barney keeps peeing on your shoes.
  • Dick Cheney's trigger finger starts twitching whenever he looks at you.

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