Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Where Is the TSA When You Need 'Em?

Once, that can be an accident. Twice is a trend. There is a new trend of terrorist scorpions sneaking aboard airliners and attacking the passengers. Yesterday, two airplanes were attacked in what is obviously a coordinated effort by an international cartel of scorpions.

On a flight from Miami to Toronto, a Canadian man was stung by an allegedly illegal alien scorpion from Costa Rica. The man suspects the scorpion smuggled itself aboard in his carry-on luggage when he left Costa Rica, where he had been on vacation. The scorpion then snuck aboard the American Airlines flight in Miami right under the noses of the Transportation Safety Authority. Even more frightening is this case of domestic scorpion terrorism. A scorpion boarded a plane in Houston and stung a Vermont man twice during the flight.

Both attacks happened yesterday yet there has been no change in the terror alert. The TSA has no program in place for preventing scorpions, or other arachnids, from boarding planes without proper identification papers. Since scorpions are known to be able to survive the radiation from nuclear explosions they would make perfect recruits to al-Qaeda in advance of dirty bomb attacks.

Where is the TSA? Where is Homeland Security? What are they doing about this looming (okay, creepy) threat?

P.S. Welcome back, Blogger. You're outage yesterday kept me from posting this earlier when I could have prevented needless suffering.

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