Friday, March 15, 2013

Jamie Dimon: Master Thief

Steal a loaf of bread to feed starving children and you go to jail for 19 years in Victor Hugo fiction.

Steal a slice of pizza and the punishment is 25 years to life in California.

Steal a bag of M&Ms and the result in Texas is summary execution.

Steal millions from a charity, if you are a slot machine addicted ex-mayor, and you get sympathetic tuts from prosecutors.

But, if you are a gambling addicted CEO of a major New York investment bank like JPMorgan Chase, you can steal $6.2 billion from your customers and investors and piss it all away wagering on exotic derivatives. You can then lie to those investors and tell federal regulators and even the United States Senate to fuck off. You'll find the Federal Reserve covering your losses and the Attorney General kowtowing to you like you were Chinese emperor Qin Shi Huang.

It may be good to be king but it is great to be a bank CEO.

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