Let's Privatize the Hell Out of the Iraq War

I continue to dream of a Congress that explores creative ways to extract the United States from Iraq. I must dream because the reality is a continuing colonial occupation. My latest fantasy is to fully privatize the war.

Step One: Congress votes funding for the removal of all American military personnel from Iraq to be completed no later than November 30, 2008.

Step Two: Congress gives Bush a Letter of Marque authorizing him to seek private funding to continue his Iraq Adventure using mercenaries.

The United States Treasury is already funding over 160,000 mercenaries in Iraq; finding merc soldiers to replace American servicemembers will not be a problem. This way Iraq can remain Bush's War and Bush's Responsibility even after he leaves office. Wealthy Republicans who love the war so much will certainly be willing to donate the billions of dollars necessary to continue the war as a private venture. The sight of Ann Coulter hosting bake sales to hire a battalion of privateers for Anbar will inspire the nation. Thousands of Republicans have only been able to support the war with bellicose words because they are cowards and because they are too rich to have to pay taxes. Finally, they will be able to show the world in a tangible way just how much they support this war. It is called "putting your money where your mouth is."

There are a few cynics out there who will point out that if Republicans have to back their wars with their personal fortunes they will all be running for seats at the pacifist table. To them I say, let's make room.