Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Romney the Bore

Matt Taibbi, America's best living journalist, recently wrote that this may the be most boring presidential campaign in history. He right, why else would I have been reduced to writing about my pet peeves last week? The reason, of course, is Mitt Romney.
If Romney were a football coach his halftime speech would go something like this. He's start by describing how inspirational he finds the school fight song. He would then recite the words, including the entire second verse that absolutely nobody even knew existed. He would continue by saying that he always considered their home field to be his real home, that even the goalposts are just the right height.  He would conclude by pointing out how inspiring it was when he attended the Super Bowl in 2002, that while he sat in the stands watching the players he was inspired by the inspirational inspiration and how he knew that his mere presence had inspired the players to even more inspirationiousness.

Mitt Romney believes that you become conservative by repeating the word and you become inspirational by saying it repeatedly.

There is still hope. Obama is not a boring campaigner and Romney will probably nominate some insane person as his Vice-President. For now, I'm going back to sleep.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The ne change I would make is that he would not be in the stands. He would tell you about how he was in the owner's box talking with his good friends, the owners of the team and how he knows and is friends with a lot of owners and that is really his contact with football, not the game itself.