Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Virtue of Inflation

I expect the Fed will continue to stimulate the economy even though inflation looms as a gigantic threat because Bernanke is a sniveling toddy who will do everything he can to help Republicans now and to Hell with the future. So, it's a good idea to learn to love inflation.

Sticking it to the Gooks
Using John McCain's favorite nickname for Asians. The national debt is over $9 trillion and growing at a rate of $10 billion a week. A big chunk of that debt is held by the Chinese and Japanese. With just a little hyper-inflation we can make a trillion dollars so worthless the national debt can be paid with the profits from hotdog sales at a single NASCAR event. (Of course, NASCAR may not be so exciting with the drivers pushing their cars around the track because they can't afford fuel.)

The Revenge of the Grasshopper
Remember that old Aesop fable? How annoying the ant was because he was "saving for the future?" Those smug people who pay off their credit cards every month and actually have retirement accounts, who doesn't hate them? We can laugh while inflation shrivels their nest eggs like raisins in the sun. Yeah, I know I'm mixing my metaphors but I'm in a hurry.

Solve the Demographics Problem
All those retired people living on fixed incomes are a drain on society. Watch them magically disappear (okay, slowly starve to death) when their monthly Social Security check isn't enough to buy a can of dog food.

Every Man A Millionaire
The best part is we can all be rich. With inflation, being a millionaire is no longer an impossible dream. We can all earn a million dollars a year, month, even a week. Sure, filling a gas tank may take a couple mil. But, hey, we're millionaires so, who cares?

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