'I Feel Like a Supermodel'

I feel like a supermodel, except like times 10. It's true. I'm a supermodel. I'm on the cover of these magazines — I'm on the cover of the biggest magazines. I don't even know about it. I can't even read the story, because if I did, I wouldn't get any work done. ~ Donald Trump, June 18, 2016

Maria, West Side Story

If you listed all the crazy stuff Trump has said and printed it on paper it would sink the continent, but this egotistical preening would be on page one. In Donnie's spongified brain he is the greatest thing to ever happen to the world, ten times better than the greatest person he can possibly imagine - a supermodel like Heidi Klum.

It's beyond bizarre and I really don't know if it's dementia, Mad Cow Disease caught from a Trump Steak, or just a shitload of Nose Candy. But at least I now know what the Trump campaign song should be.

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

By the by, last summer candidate Trump opined that Heidi Klum was no longer a ten because that is the kind of issue that requires presidential judgement. Heidi's response was a perfect 9.99.