The Winter from Hell

January has been a horrible weather month in SoCal. Okay, I realize most of you don't think that moderate temperatures, crystal clear skies, and not a drop of rain is horrible. But, you don't have my body. My seasonal allergies interprets the above weather pattern as a sign of the Apocalypse.

Allergies are really just the body panicking. Expose my body to very dry air and it becomes convinced it is locked in a giant convection oven the brain hasn't noticed and floods the sinuses and lungs with fluids. You can't reason with your body, it won't listen. You're all "come on, it's just a nice day" while the body is screaming "we're all going to die!!!!"

My body's panic when exposed to alternating dry, cool, outdoor weather and warm, even dryer, indoor conditions is to overcompensate. My lungs fill with mucus (not asthma but asthma-like, according to my doctor) so I feel like I'm drowning, my sinuses start running like Niagara Falls (rhinitis) and feel like they are filled with concrete.

If I take enough anti-histamine to sedate a bull elephant I can suppress the symptoms but then about the only thing I am good for is hibernating. The only bright side is, if I am every taken prisoner and waterboarded, it won't be so bad. It can't be worse than what my body does to me.

Remarkably close to what my body does to me every Winter.