Friday, May 16, 2008

On Same Sex Marriage

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. ~ H. L. Mencken
As a government institution, marriage is a legally binding contract between two individuals. The government has no right or interest to impose gender bias onto who can or cannot enter into a contract. As a religious institution, marriage can be anything that individual churches care to define it. Churches have every right to sanctify only those marriages they approve of. The problem comes, as it always does, when religions impose their particular beliefs on everyone else.

Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society
For years now fundamentalists have tried justify their opposition to gay marriage with limited success. I really want to plagiarize this but will content myself with my own creativity.
  • Gay sex is icky. But only with guys. Lesbian sex is hot.
  • Homosexuality is a sin. But so is gluttony and I don't see the fundies lobbying to outlaw extra-large pepperoni pizzas.
  • It will lead to people marrying dogs and children. Because we all know they can sign legally binding contracts.
  • A Family is one man and one woman. Except when there are grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, close friends....
  • Marriage is all about raising children. And we allow old folk and other people who can't have children to marry because...
  • Children need a father and a mother. Divorce and war create more fatherless families than gay marriage every could.
  • Gay marriage will weaken traditional marriage. Because we all know that a man and a woman cannot bond successfully if there are two men living happily together anywhere on the continent.
  • (in subtext) The Gay is contagious. If children see a married gay couple they will immediately turn into flaming homos.

1 comment:

joel hanes said...

Eggs. Ackley.