The Clinton-McCain Conspiracy

I had this thought Sunday night. Then, it was little more than a gut feeling and sparks in the foil hat I wear to bed. Over the weekend, in her fatigue, Clinton let slip the truth.

[Senator McCain] will put forth his lifetime of experience. I will put forth my lifetime of experience. Senator Obama will put forth a speech he made in 2002. ~ Hillary Clinton, March 1, 2008 (thanks to DailyKos)

Clinton-McCain Unity Ticket
Hillary Clinton and John McCain are running on the same platform. That one is titularly a Democrat and the other a Republican is a meaningless distinction. Both will maintain a colonial occupation of Iraq. Both will avoid negotiations in favor of a war footing. Both will maintain low taxes for their constituents, the wealthy elite. Both will impose additional taxes on the lower classes - Clinton in the form of mandating the poor to purchase private health insurance, McCain by shifting taxes from corporations onto the poor. The Clinton-McCain constituents are the neo-conservative warriors-by-proxy and corporate CEOs.

She [Hillary] and John McCain are very close. They always laugh that if they wound up being the nominees of their party, it would be the most civilized election in American history and they're afraid they'd put the voters to sleep because they like and respect each other. ~ Bill Clinton, Jan. 25, 2008

It doesn't matter to their constituents which is elected, as long as one or the other gains the office. It barely matters to McCain and Clinton. Events have dictated that Hillary take the role of the ruthless pit bull. Being loyal, first and foremost, to their Unity Ticket, she has taken to the job enthusiastically. Because she is nominally a Democrat, Clinton has been more blatantly racist than McCain could be. A clue to how close their unity is: McCain has never once criticized Clinton, Clinton has never once criticized McCain. They have praised each other, but never has either spoken a word of criticism about the other.

As things now stand, Clinton's job is to attack Obama and attack the Democratic Party. Her job is to do this for John McCain so McCain can take the high road. If she does her job well, by July she will have successfully painted Obama as the blackest of Blacks who eats white Christian babies for breakfast every morning. If she does her job extremely well she will take the Democratic nomination; she and McCain can then march arm in arm to November secure in the knowledge that whoever wins will carry out the platform of screwing the American people while killing as many foreigners as possible. Kumbaya.