Don't Do Something, Just Stand There

I have spent a considerable amount of time (several actual minutes) trying to figure out exactly what the Republican economic recovery plan is. As best I can tell...

• Whatever Democrats propose, don't do it: It doesn't seem to matter what Democrats propose, the Republicans are against it en masse. From what I can tell Republicans aren't even bothering to read the legislation. If it comes from a Democrat, they're agin it.
  
• Cut regulations: If banks acting outside the bounds of financial prudence caused this mess then the answer to eliminate regulations. If California is running a budget deficit the solution is removing the laws preventing companies from polluting the environment. The Ayn Rand Institute suggested the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme was caused by government regulations; the best way to prevent a repetition is to make what he did perfectly legal.
  
• Cut taxes: Those old boys are consistent. Budget surplus - cut taxes. Budget deficit - cut taxes. Boom years - cut taxes. Recession - cut taxes. If cutting taxes is responsible for getting us into this economic mess then the only way out is to cut taxes even more. Although, as Rush Limbaugh points out, Republicans only propose cutting the taxes of rich people. Cutting taxes for poor people is a pernicious act that will "burden the private sector."
• Cut wages: Wall Street is suffering today because too many people are getting paid too much money. No, no, not millionaire executives and their seven-figure bonuses, that's an American right, executives need to be compensates for all of the layoff notices they sign. Republican business roundtable types are obliquely suggesting cutting the minimum wage.

Poor people are getting paid too much and paying too little in taxes. All these unemployed people whining about not being able to feed their children is distracting the nation from the suffering of the wealthy. Some people are being forced to sell one of their three vacation villas, are losing their corporate jets and may have to travel first class (the humanity!), and executives are having to keep their trophy wives for an extra season. Where's the pity?

Republicans have the solution. Cut taxes for the wealthy. Cut wages for the poor. Stop regulations and allow Darwinian economics rule. But, most of all, don't do something, just stand there. Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.