Kiss and Tell Republicans

There was a time when I had great respect for how Republicans handled their sexual dalliances. Democrats tended towards prostitutes (Barney Franks), strippers (Wilber Mills), and trailer trash (Bill Clinton) who just couldn't keep their mouths shut. (editor's note: There may be a double entendre here)

(click on the photo for a fascinating political website)

Republicans mistresses were older and uglier than their Democratic counterparts, but they were descreet. You had to respect that. An example of the old way of doing It is George Bush and Condi Rice. You could infer the torrid affair they had from the way they looked at each other and how he would always call her "Condi" while she called him her "husband." You even knew it was over when Bush began coolly referring to her as "Secretary Rice" and she started dating a Canadian. Everyone knew what was happening, but it was still completely hidden.

Now, we have a Republican candidate for Secretary of State bragging about having steamy sex with multiple Green Bay Packers. Duke Cunningham having a Department of Homeland Security limo service ferry prostitutes to his poker parties at the Watergate Hotel. Mark Foley flirting with underaged congressional pages who weren't mature enough to purge their e-mail log files. Finally, there is right-wing evangelical preacher Ted Haggard whose hatred of godless homosexuals compelled him to hire a male prostitute. Several times.

Over the years, if there was anything that Republicans did well it was keeping their sexual peccadillos undercover. It was a point of pride that Republican whores didn't talk. They can't even to that anymore. If they've lost that, they have lost everything.