Friday, June 20, 2014

Is Satan a God?

Last night I had a dream where I debated the polytheism of Christianity with one of those door-to-door religion salesmen where I made this point. It was so much fun I'm kinda hoping an annoying bible thumper knocks on my door this weekend. There are so many delicious points to make.

Christians Are Polytheists
Especially Catholics.

Chock Full of Saints
Starting at the bottom, there are over 10,000 canonized saints in the Catholic pantheon. They are prayed to, worshiped, and intercede in the lives of mortals. That is the definition of a god. Because they are deified mortals with a limited focus they are exact parallels of the petty Greek Gods. Aristaeus for the Greeks and St. Ambrose for Catholics are the patron gods of beekeepers.

Lots of Little Angels
Christians believe there are billions of angels watching over us, protecting us, and frequently doing a shitty job of it. They are in numbers and job description just wood nymphs and house elves.

Archangels Among Us
If Jehovah is the supreme god, like Zeus, then archangels are lesser gods created by the supreme god then they are like Ares and Athena. They are immortals and superior to humans but not, themselves human. They are spirits that can take both human and non-human form. There are seven named archangels in most Christian sects; Roman Catholics have fewer while Mormons add more.

Lucifer Makes Eight
The biggest problem with any truly monotheistic religion is that there is no antagonist. Heroes need anti-heroes, otherwise you have a damn boring religion. Lucifer wants to dethrone Jehovah and rule all of creation. We are not talking about the Pine Crest Little League All-Stars challenging the New York Yankees. He thought he had a legitimate shot at pulling off a coup. This is a contest of near equals, more like the Boston Red Sox against the Yankees. What is nearly equal to a supreme being god? Why another god, of course.

Council of Gods
Facing a hard case who believes the Bible is infallible holy scripture. Refer him to Psalm 82:1. Right there in the Bible, Yahweh is sitting at the head of a Divine Council addressing his fellow "elohim." Elohim is a Hebrew word meaning "gods." Plural.

Satan is a god, like Loki or Kali. He is the equal, or nearly equal, to the creator god, Yahweh (aka Jehovah). Yahweh hold court with the other gods of the firmament known to us collectively as the archangels.  Beneath these dukes of heaven, if you will, are a massive population of lesser spirits and demons that any good pagan religion would also call gods.

By the by, Islam is also polytheist believing in jinns (demons made from smokeless fire), angels (slaves to Allah), and the devil (called Iblis). Although their creator god does not have a Divine Council and his opponents are mostly humans who defy him. But being all-powerful means that Allah is rather capricious, inflicting evil on innocents just to test them. Basically, he treats humans like they were his lab rats.

1 comment:

Teresa Nielsen Hayden said...

Catholics don't worship saints. We venerate them and ask for their intercession. We don't worship angels, either.

These facts would not have been hard to check.