Symbols of Police Force As Occupation Army

A year ago I wondered what happened to Officer Friendly. It's gotten worse since then.

Back in December the head of the NYPD union declared war on the citizens of the city. Throughout the country in the following months, police have been staging summery executions on the streets of their cities - an average of four a day between April 23 and 27. I  want to look at some of the symbols police have adopted as they have become an army of occupation.

This is the official patch of the Atlanta Police Department SWAT team. The Germanic eagle with a crown, the crossed lightening bolts vaguely reminiscent of the SS logo. It's viscerally disturbing.

Even more frightening is the patch for the Ann Arbor, MI SWAT. It would be more appropriate on the leathers of an outlaw motorcycle gang. This patch shouts, "We're going to fuck you up!"

The last piece of symbolism is the increasing habit of police dressing in camo. There is no practical reason for this. Special camouflage gear in a domestic urban environment is useless and just an expensive fashion statement. Police like them because they look bad ass. Commanders love them because they are part of the psychological conditioning of the officers into unthinking warriors.

You are no longer a cop. Look like a soldier, think like a soldier, behave like a soldier, kill like a soldier.

Century of Genocide

The 20th century can rightly be called the Genocide Century. If you make a list of the deadliest genocides in human history virtually all of them fall within that pitiless century. The Germans, the Russians, and the Turks bear the bulk of the blame.

Nazis (Victims: Jews and Roma)

Gypsy wagon, German 1935

The Jewish Holocaust (HaShoah in Hebrew) is well known. Between 1933 and 1945, the Germans killed over two-thirds of the Jews living in the nations they occupied. That includes 90% of the 3.5 million Jews living in Germany and Poland. Less well know is the Gypsy genocide (Porajmos in Romani). While the Nazis didn't have the blind hatred of Gypsies they had for Jews, they did consider them a polluted race. Deportation efforts evolved into extermination as the war years progressed. Locked away in the same concentration camps as Jews, Gypsies wore a brown triangle to denote their "subhuman" status. Death estimates vary widely but it is probable that over a quarter of Roma under German control died during the Holocaust.

Turks (Victims: Armenians, Assyrians, Greeks, Kurds)

Armenian Woman's College, Erzurum, Ottoman Empire, 1900. By 1920 most of these women will be dead.

Even considering the Nazis, nobody practiced the art of ethnic cleansing more persistently than the Turks. At the beginning of the 20th century the 500 year old Ottoman Empire was dying. At one time they had ruled from the gates of Vienna in the west to Volgograd in the east and south to Ethiopia. By the beginning of World War I they had lost all their European holding while major areas like Egypt and Sudan were only nominally under their control.  And the various ethnic groups within the shrinking empire were longing for autonomy.

Nationalists, called Young Turks, took power and brought with them a paranoid fear of ethnic  minorities. The most famous of the subsequent genocides were the Armenians (Medz Yeghern or "Great Crime" in Armenian) starting in 1915. Their techniques, to be copied by Nazis later, was to slaughter men and boys of potential fighting age and force the rest into concentration camps in the Syrian desert. Most of the Armenians were forced marched into the desert, tens of thousands died en route. Upwards of 80% of Armenians, perhaps 800,000 people, were killed.

Concurrent with the Armenian genocide was the genocide of Assyrians (Sayfo in Aramaic). The Assyrians were Christians living in pretty much the same land now being fought over by ISIS. There were fewer forced marches and more outright massacres with the Assyrians. In total about two-thirds of the 200,000 Christians living in the region were killed.

Simultaneous with the Armenian and Assyrian genocides was the genocide of Greeks living in what is modern Turkey. Like the other groups, Orthodox Christian Greeks were assumed to be allies of the enemy during World War I and so had to be killed. About half of the two million Greeks living in the Ottoman Empire were killed. Virtually all the rest were expelled 1923 in exchange for an expulsion of Turks living in Greece.

Kurds helped the Turks during the Assyrian genocide. In the 1930's Turkish security forces turned on the Kurds and killed about 100,000 Kurds in two massacres. In 1930, the Turkish military set about ethnically cleansing 44 Kurdish villages in the Zilan Valley near Mount Ararat killing 40,000 Kurds. In 1937 they were sent to end a rebellion in the Dersim region of Turkey. An estimated 80,000 Kurds, mostly civilians, were killed. In subsequent decades there have been many lesser events.

Russia (Victim: Ukrainians and a near endless list of ethnic groups)

Were it not for Hitler, Stalin would be the greatest mass murderer in human history. In fact, Stalin probably beats out Hitler for the prize. But Stalin didn't use gas chambers. He uses starvation and the brutal Siberian winters to do his killing for him.

The jewel in Stalin crown is the Holodomor (Ukrainian for "Hunger Plague"). The cause was the forced change of Ukraine farmers from food crops (wheat) to cash crops (sugar beet and cotton) done to punish Ukraine for anti-Soviet nationalist tendencies.

The result was mass starvation in the breadbasket of Europe. No need for deaths camps, millions simply died quietly in their own homes. The exact number is unknown, Soviet record keepers were skilled liars. The best estimate is between seven and ten million or about one third of the population. Is it any wonder Ukrainians welcomed Nazi invaders as liberators eight years later.

Another favored Stalin technique was mass deportations. At one time or another Stalin suspected every ethnic group in the Soviet Union of treachery. The first mass deportation was 200,000 nomadic Kazakhs who were expelled from the country in 1933. The starvation weapon was used to kill an addition 1.3 million ethnic Kazakhs.

In 1940, a quarter million ethnic Poles were relocated to Siberia. Most died there. After the Nazi invasion in 1941, almost one million ethnic Germans were sent to Siberia to die. Another 3.3 million German POWs died in Siberian camps too. In 1944, Stalin forcibly relocated a half million Chechens to mostly depopulated Kazakhstan. Also in 1944, 200,000 Tartars were moved from the Crimea to Uzbekistan. In 1951, Stalin moved a half million Japanese and Koreans from the Japanese islands the Soviet Union took at the end of World War II. They went to Siberia to, mostly, die.

Stalin's largest deportation never happened thanks to his timely death. Stalin planned to move 20 million Jews into labor camps he was having built in Siberia. He has already begun the arrests, show trials, and executions of Jewish intellectuals (most loyal Soviets) when Stalin took ill and was allowed to die by his subordinates.

A Modest Proposal for Capital Punishment

Ruth Snyder. In 1928, a reporter sneaked a camera into Sing Sing Prison and took the first photograph of an execution by electric chair. 

Certain states in the Union, particularly Texas and Oklahoma, are scrambling to find new ways to effectively and "humanely" kill people since the drugs used for lethal injections are nearly impossible to come by anymore. They have been trying compounds mixed by amateur chemists, secret drugs provided by secret laboratories, and now in Oklahoma they will try nitrogen gas.

Allow me to suggest a simple solution. Use heroin.

• It's readily available on many urban street corners. Prison guards are already buying it for sale to prisoners.
• It's street price is a lot less than the cost of these designer execution drugs.
• You don't need to hire a doctor to administer it. There are many prisoners very experience in injecting heroin.
• It is totally humane. There is a feeling of euphoria followed by respiratory failure and death. You might have fewer prisoners appealing their death sentences if they know they will be going out  on a fine smack high.  

I know there will be some killjoys out there saying that an execution should be a dreadful experience and heroin would just make things too humane. I'm sure some mother's groups will complain that using heroin for executions will encourage children to try the drug just like California's gas chamber has caused an epidemic of kids experimenting with cyanide.

Sure, heroin is illegal but so is every other execution method used. Try strapping someone to a table and injecting fertilizer* into their veins and see how long it take to be accused of being a psychopathic torturer.

So there you are Gov. Fallin. No need to thank me.

*One lethal chemical used is potassium chloride, also used for fertilizer.

Biblical Defenses of Slavery and Homophobia

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
An evil soul producing holy witness
Is like a villain with a smiling cheek,
A goodly apple rotten at the heart. ~ Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Just as Southern slave holders used Leviticus verses to defend slavery so do their 21st century descendents in their attacks on homosexuals. Leviticus 25:44-46 was a standard proof that God supported the institution of slavery.

As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: you may buy male and female slaves from among the nations that are around you. 
You may also buy from among the strangers who sojourn with you and their clans that are with you, who have been born in your land, and they may be your property.
You may bequeath them to your sons after you to inherit as a possession forever. ~ Leviticus 25:44-46

Their modern brethren reach a few chapters earlier (Lev. 18 and 20) for passages that justify their hatred of gays. 

Slavers also loved St. Paul whose epistles were filled with instructions to slaves to submit themselves to their masters in all respects even if the masters are cruel. Paul once even returned a runaway slave to his master (Epistle to Philemon), an event used by slave states to justify the Fugitive Slave Act requiring Northern states to return slaves seeking freedom.

Paul's frequently expressed hatred of gays are now popular quotations.

Both slavers and homophobes believed that the Bible is infallible through the centuries and that what was written then applies equally now. This leads to comical results when the issue of slavery in the Bible is raised today. The first commenter in this blog twists himself into a knot so complex the most skilled Eagle Scout couldn't unravel him. According to him, the slaves referenced were really servants and God didn't want to try to undo the economic institution of slavery because it was so ingrained in popular culture at the time. So God just instituted a few reasonable guidelines such as allowing slave holders to beat a slave within an inch of death but not murder them outright.

Christian Bible defenders try to have it both ways with Leviticus. They say Mosaic Law was overturned by that slave loving, gay bashing St. Paul. But is still enforced with regard to homosexuals, not because Jesus said it (He didn't.) but on the word of Paul.

In truth, Paul did away with Mosaic Law because he didn't want to scare away Gentiles with that whole circumcision commandment.  Roman converts got to keep their foreskins but couldn't fuck around so much anymore so Paul allowed them to pig out on pork as consolation.

More on Christians and Slavery

Not Excited: 2016 Elections

There's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip. ~ Old Proverb

In April 2007, Hillary Clinton led Democratic polls with 41% followed by Obama (20%) and John Edwards (12%).  She peaked in September 2007 at 53%. It wasn't until March 2008 that Obama was at the top.

Rudy Giuliani led Republicans in April 2007 at 35% followed by John McCain (22%) and Fred Thompson (10%). By June, Fred Thompson was leading the polls. In December it was Mike Huckabee at the top.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating. ~ Even Older Proverb

While Hillary has an insurmountable lead she also has more than enough campaign flaws to give any political consultant chronic heartburn. She ranks high on the testiness scale, not at the Chris Christie level (he peaks the scale), but more along the lines of Rand Paul bitchiness.  She hires consultants who habitually burn through her cash like it was kindling at a wiener roast. Part of the reason she lost in 2008 is that she started running out of money in January. Then there is her luggage, including Bill and the dynasty meme. While much of it is Republican invention there is still enough luggage to give an elephant a hernia.

A donkey can haul only so much.

And the Republicans, if anything, have it worse.

The poll leader with a whopping 16.5% is Jeb Bush. Jeb may have more campaign money than God (Remember, Rudy was a fundraising god in 2007.) but his luggage dwarfs Hillary's (Can you give a continent a hernia?). His dynasty problems are worse than her's too with his idiot brother George tarnishing the very name "Bush." Yet Jeb is so far the only star in a very lackluster constellation.

Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Ben Carson, Mike Huckabee, and Rick Santorum all give wackadoodles a bad name. Cruz would have to mellow out to be an anarchist while Paul is a mellowed out anarchist. Carson is just a grifter who is demanding appearance fees for his campaign speeches. Huckabee and Santorum both think the world has been going down hill since the 12th century and want to return to a time when heretics are burned at the stake like a loving Jesus intended.

They all make the British 'Monster Raving Loony Party' look sane.

And adding them all together they don't have enough experience to be president of the Rotary Club. Cruz and Paul have been in the Senate for two years and believe their massive talents are wasted there. Ben Carson has never bother to run for any elected post, even the Mayberry Town Council. Huckabee, Santorum, and Jeb Bush have all been unemployed for eight years, longer than my uncle Jasper, and are totally out of touch with the modern electorate.

At least Uncle Jasper understands the plight of urban and rural poverty.

Scott Walker is currently polling second (14%) but may have peaked too soon. People have taken a good hard look at him and noticed there is nothing there. Marco Rubio looks like a veteran compared to Cruz and Paul. He has four years in the Senate. But he inspires all the visceral excitement of a paint drying contest. Rubio's polls will probably peak during the next few weeks in the low teens. Chris Christie peaked years ago but has the rare talent to be equally hated by both Democrats and Republicans.

My much belabored point is that now is way to early to focus on the 2016 presidential race. Wake me six months from now when the grifter, wannabe, and just-wants-to-make-a-statement candidates have done a few preliminary jousts. No one will have dropped out yet and a few more may have entered. By October we'll have a sense of who's legit and what they think is important. There will still be plenty of time to get excited and/or panic over who's the frontrunner.

Playing Cop With Real Guns

You're rich and retired. You're bored and want some excitement in your life. And, let's be honest here, you love the tingling sensation you get in your loins when you strap deadly weapons to your waist. It's better than Viagra.

If you live in Tulsa, OK you're in luck because you can buy your way into the Sheriff's Department as a reserve officer. You might be 15 years past the mandatory retirement age but you're a volunteer so that doesn't matter. Your law enforcement experience might consist of one year a half century ago but you've had training so who needs experience.

Tulsa Sheriff Dept. role call (unconfirmed)

If you're lucky you can reach the rank of "advanced reserve" and buy all the life and death rights a full time officer has to earn. And if your unlucky you can accidentally shoot some poor smuck to death because you can't tell the difference between a taser

and a gun.

But, don't worry, your fellow officers will have your back.

Reserve Deputy Bates was a victim, a true victim, of slips and capture

That "slips and capture" reference is apparently a "real thing" where an inexperienced or panicking police officer is reaching for his taser and accidentally draws his gun. Allegedly, in the heat of the moment you can't remember where the taser is (on your left hip, idiot) and reflexively reach for the gun you have drawn thousands of times in front of the mirror while pretending to be Dirty Harry.

So while some evil nigger lies dying on the street your fellow officers will be comforting you, reminding you that these things happen all the time and it's no big deal, besides, you just saved the county the cost of a trial.

The Deadliest Months

There is a website, Killedbypolice.net, that goes through the effort of recording nearly every instance of police officers killing people on the streets and in the homes of the United States that has been reported through news media. It is a far more thorough reporting that what the U. S. Justice Department does.

According to the Justice Department, police kill some 400 Americans a year, but their data is tainted. They only collect data of "justifiable" killings, accidental or questionable killings are excluded. Also, most police agencies don't bother reporting at all. The actual number of Americans killed by police exceeds one thousand people per year. Police kill more Americans per year than Americans soldiers died during the worst year of Iraq War fighting (904 in 2007).

In 2014, American police killed at least 1100 people. On average, police kill someone in this country every seven hours. I took a look at two of the deadliest months.

In August, 2014 police kill 109 people. In March, 2015 police killed 115 citizens. Almost half were black or latino while over a third were white. For the remainder their race was other or listed as unknown.

The vast majority were shooting deaths. In one case a policeman killed a crew member for the TV show "Cops." Police fired 30 rounds towards a robbery suspect in Omaha, hitting both the suspect and the innocent. Nine people died from police using "non-lethal" tasers.

In most instances the only witnesses to these killings were either dead or cops. It is impossible to say how many of these shooting deaths were "righteous." As the now notorious case of the execution of Walter Scott shows, police shooters will spin outrageous yarns and, as the initial reporting of the killing shows, his fellow officers swallow those yarns without question. Prior to the video being made public there was no indication the shooting officer even faced a reprimand.  An excuse you'll find with rote frequency is "officers feared for their lives." While that is certainly, at times, true, the excuse is used so freely it has ceased to be believable.

Traffic accidents are also a frequent cause of deaths, I found eight cases of death by police driving cars. On two occasions the officers were off duty and driving drunk. One case in Hawaii is of an on duty officer suspected of alleged hit-and-run homicide.

One of the saddest, in terms both of heartbreaking and pathetic, is the case of the youngest person to die. On August 15, fifteen year old Austin Dukette was struck and killed while on his bicycle by a patrol car driven by Lee County (FL) Sheriff Deputy Douglas Hood. Allegedly, Deputy Hood was distracted by his laptop computer when he hit Austin. Rather than charge him with vehicular manslaughter, Cape Coral police gave him a ticket for a moving violation, "failure to maintain a proper lane." Deputy Hood fought the ticket in court and Circuit Judge Frank Porter (a Jeb Bush appointee for whatever that is worth) found Hood not guilty of even a traffic violation.

In March, five people were killed while in jail. After Gregory Smith died on March 30, the Lake County (IN) Sheriff Department issued a press release saying, "officers used the restraint techniques they are trained to use."

In August, two officers straight up murdered three people in two separate acts. On August 11, New York patrol officer Robert Mroczek shot and killed his estranged wife Pammi and her boyfriend. He committed suicide four days later. Atlanta police officer Tahreem Zeus Rana allegedly killed his friend Verinica Woodard and then set fire to the body. Rana was arrested at the airport attempting to hop a flight to Mexico.

It is a sad but true fact that police officers are a leading cause of death in the United States.

Opening Day Stories

Baseball's Opening Day, when the season of renewal meets the sport of never ending Spring.

The Greatests

Ted Williams (l) was always ready to go from day one. He never failed to get at least one hit and batted .449 in his fourteen opening day games. Bob Feller (r) probably had the best single opening day in history. On April 16, 1940, Feller pitched the first of his three no-hitters. On opening day in 1974, Hank Aaron hit his 714th home run, tying Babe Ruth for the most in history.

Not So Greats

The New York Mets lost their opening day contests in each of their first eight years. They didn't record a win in a season's first game until 1970. They won the World Series before they won an opening day. 

My home team, the San Diego Padres, is the second worst team in baseball history (.462 win/loss percentage, slightly better than Tampa Bay) yet they won their first ever game. They beat the Houston Astros in 1969 using a lead-off batter, Rafael Robles, who hit .100 for the season. Their catcher (Chris Cannizzaro) and pitcher (Dick Selma) were both New York Met outcasts.

Absolute Worst

Ron Karkovice inherited the Chicago White Sox catching job when Carlton Fisk got too old to do a full season of squats. Ron wasn't much of a hitter (.221 career batting average) but on March 31, 1996 he hit bottom. Facing Randy Johnson in an opening day game, Ron struck out five times in five at bats. There is no record if he cried.

Play Ball!

Religion As a Story Pitch

This is the most religious weekend of the year with four major religions celebrating holy days. Easter for Christians, Passover for Jews, Hanuman Jayanti for Hindus, and it is the Buddhist New Year. What better time to get completely irreligious and look at religions from the point of view of pitching their stories to a publisher.

Judaism
A vast historic saga where the protagonists usually gets the crap beaten out of them.

Hinduism
A fantasy epic with shapeshifting gods, animals with super powers, and beings with multiple arms and heads.

Islam
The adventure story of a warrior monk on a mission of conquest.

Mormonism and Scientology
Science fiction tales with space alien gods ruling over distant planets.

Christianity
Snuff porn where you are made to care about the protagonist who is ultimately slowly tortured to death.

Christianity is the only story the publisher would reject.

Religious Odds and Ends

Brief thoughts passing through my busy mind....

Just Be Happy We're Not Stoning You

The biblically approved punishment for sodomites.

Sen. Tom Cotton, he of the 'See Spot Run' letter to Iran, thinks gays should not be complaining about the open discrimination they face in this country because it could be worse. He reassures gay Americans that, unlike in Iran, they are not being executed for their sexual sins in Arkansas. Yet.

Do You Know the Swim? You Better Learn Quick, Jim

The rapid retreat of Antarctica glaciers is moving up the the timing of the collapse of the West Antarctic ice sheet by decades. Of course, Florida is totally protected by the scientifically proven technique of sticking your fingers in your ears and making a loud humming sound. It's ironic that people who tout their devout belief in biblical prophecy are so deaf to modern day Noahs when they predict a destructive global flood.

'A Shameless Woman Shall Be Counted as a Dog' ~ Eccles: 26:25
When a female Wisconsin blogger had the impertinence to criticize police brutality a La Crosse Lutheran pastor had the calling to reproach her wickedness. He sent her an email attacking her evil lady parts ("fucking liberal cunt") and offering to gang rape her. Surprisingly, the First Evangelical Lutheran Church and the Lutheran synod did not recognize the pastoral nature of his email and the pastor had to resign. (Note: The pastor claims he didn't send the email but when police asked to see his computer to confirm that claim, the pastor refused.)

Being a Bigot Pays
The tiny Indiana pizzeria that proudly proclaimed its Christian duty to discriminate against gays has turned their bigotry into big bucks. Through crowd funding they have raised over $150,000. For perspective, the average pizza shop has about $60,000 in profits a year. There is more money in selling hate than selling pizza.

Haggen: How to Kill a Grocery Store

Haggen used to be a respected family owned chain of eighteen grocery stores in the Pacific Northwest. The family sold controlling interest to a private equity firm, Comvest Group, a few years back. Late last year, Haggen decided to rapidly expand, by 900%, buying 164 stores in a couple of months.

From a fiduciary point of view this is insanity and if I had money with Comvest I'd disinvest as quickly as possible. Groceries are low profit margin operations that require complex logistics. This kind of rapid expansion will blow up their logistical networks leading to massive losses that groceries can't sustain.

Additionally, they are buying up stores with no sense of planning. I know this because Haggen now owns the two largest stores near me, they are within a mile of each other and in direct competition with each other. The Haggen website does not list even one of the scores of stores they now operate in Southern California. I have not encountered any local advertising. It is as if Haggen doesn't care if the stores succeed or fail.

Why is Comvest Group doing this? I have two theories.

Theory One. They are trying to create neighborhood monopolies which they can then soak with inflated prices. Their shelf products are about 25% more expensive than other, smaller stores. Their produce prices are astronomical, orders of magnitude more expensive than a local farmer's market. 

Theory Two.  Comvest Group is sacrificing their investors capital to benefit Albertsons. Albertsons is buying Safeway (aka Vons). As a consequence, Albertsons and Vons are having to divest themselves of about 164 locations.  Albertsons, rather than closing the locations and writing off the losses, is selling the locations to Haggen. Since the Haggen business model is unsustainable most of those locations will have to close and Comvest investors will have to eat the losses.

I lean towards Theory Two. Normally, I don't care when private equity firms screw their investors, it's just millionaires fucking millionaires.  But, since both big grocery stores near me are now Haggens and filled with massively over priced products, their fucking is annoying me. On the other hand, I haven't seen my farmer's market this busy since the Southern California grocery strike of 2003.

Five Men Destroying America

Power, greed, and an abiding disinterest in humanity, these five sociopaths are the greatest threats to America today.

Jamie Dimon - CEO, JP Morgan Chase

Dimon ticks all the boxes of a sociopath. He is charming, intense, and incapable of anything even remotely resembling a conscious. It was his manipulation of debt derivatives that nearly crashed the global economy. His not at all veiled threats to finish the job got him billions of dollars in bail-outs from the US treasury.  Throughout all of this, Jamie did not waste a single breath worrying about the millions of middle-class Americans forced out of their homes by his machinations.

His appearances before Congress have been bipartisan ass-kissing contests as most members of Congress, in both parties, are bought and paid for sycophants. Liz Warren and Bernie Sanders being notable exceptions.

And Jamie's planning on doing it again. He is working tirelessly to lift the restrictions on his banking empire so he can again play his wildly destructive games.

Antonin Scalia - Supreme Court Justice

This Court has never held that the Constitution forbids the execution of a convicted defendant who has had a full and fair trial but is later able to convince a habeas court that he is 'actually' innocent. ~ Antonin Scalia, 2009

Scalia likes to claim he is the smartest man on the court yet in reading his decisions you'll find an astonishing lack of scholarship. He is ignorant of society, science, history, and even the Constitution.  He is actively using his seat on the nation's highest court to impose a Catholic Caliphate on the United States.

But beyond all that, the most disturbing aspect of Scalia is the malicious hostility he has toward the concept of innocence.  His firmly held belief that even the innocent deserve execution is so astonishingly evil that is elevates Scalia beyond sociopath into the highest reaches of psychopathy.

Ted Cruz - Texas Senator

I like laughing at Ted Cruz, who doesn't? His real story is too silly to even be a character on South Park. But of all the member of Congress, from the dopey (Louie Gohmert) to the treacherous (Tom Cotton), Ted Cruz is the most terrifying. 
 
Cruz is a megalomaniac. He sees himself as the ultimate leader of the Tea Party, of Republicans, of all of Congress, of the United States, of all mankind. He believes he has godlike infallibility. He sees himself as a real life Ozymandias who will ruthlessly lead the world to his vision of utopia even if billions need to die in the process. Of course, his definition of utopia would be most people's definition of Hell.

Bibi Netanyahu - Israel Prime Minister

It didn't.

Bibi loves war. But he doesn't want his own nation to bear the horrible burdens of war. Bibi wants the United States to fight his wars for him. Bibi wanted war with Iraq. Shortly after George Bush Jr. was elected the United States fought Bibi's war for him. Bibi wants to destroy Syria. As a consequence, Israel has argued against the United States opposing ISIS until after it has conquered Syria, only then does he want the US to fight ISIS. Now, Bibi wants war with Iran. As with Iraq, Bibi wants US soldiers to be his weapon while Israel again sits on the sidelines applauding.

From Bibi's point of view this is a sound strategy. Unlike the others of this list, Bibi is not a sociopath. It is not Bibi's fault that the United States is a doltish brute that can be easily manipulated into fighting his battles for him. However, if the US is destroyed fighting Israel's wars, Bibi won't have a moment's regret.

Sheldon Adelson - Billionaire

I have to be careful here. Sheldon makes more money in one minute than I'll make in a year. He could crush me like the insect I am to him.

Sheldon is worth as much as the gross national product of Lativa. He has been tied to money laundering in Vegas, bribery in China, and gangsters in Macau. (Note to Sheldon: I'm sure these are all just baseless, vicious rumors and you are really a teddy bear.)

And Sheldon is a collector. He collects politicians like normal people collect souvenir coffee mugs. He doesn't donate to them or bribe them or even rent them. Sheldon buys them outright. And he loves buying Republican presidential wannabes.

They make pilgrimages to Sheldon's Vegas casino to kowtow to the great man, kiss his ring, and pledge total fealty to his majesty. Sheldon and his ilk (Koch brothers, et al) have not corrupted American politics but they have changed it into a feudal kingdom where even presidents are vassals serving their billionaire masters.

Bucket List: New Orleans

New Orleans was one of those places I always wanted to visit but haven't until now. I wanted to see it before it disappeared forever beneath the rising seas.

Mississippi River

Since reading Mark Twain and watching Maverick on television as a child I have wanted to ride a sternwheeler on the Mississippi. The river is narrower than I expected. While the river is a mile wide near St. Louis, squeezed in by levees, it is only 2000 feet wide at New Orleans. But it is deep. At 200 feet deep, the Mississippi River is deeper than Lake Erie and most of the water in the river is flowing past New Orleans below sea level.

French Quarter
Bourbon Street is the most famous street in the French Quarter and has all the historic charm of an '80's strip bar. However, since the most popular bordellos back in the day were on Bourbon Street, it does retain the same debauched ambiance of olden days. Just one short block closer to the river is Royal Street and that looks like the French Quarter I expected.

Royal Street.

Classic antebellum buildings and charming art galleries provide a gentile charm. The French Quarter abounds with street musicians and buskers and many people are bi-lingual. To tourists they speak standard American English without even a Southern drawl. Among each others, however, they speak a Creole English that outsiders can hardly interpret.

Cypress Swamp

I also wanted to get away from the city and boat up a bayou into a cypress swamp. Gators and snakes, song birds, wild pigs, plus more water that you'll find in California in a generation. That alone was worth the trip. If I return it will be to spend more time on a bayou.

All Politics Is Local - Israeli Division

Polls and news reports suggest that Bibi Netanyahu may be suffering from the Eric Cantor disease. Bibi is concentrating entirely on outside matter like tweaking President Obama and campaigning before the American Congress. He gives off the impression he would rather be in the United States Senate than the Israeli Knesset and he is suffering in Israel for it.

Israeli politics is all about coalitions. Likud and Yisrael Beiteinu has 31 seats in the current Knesset and formed the foundation of a ruling coalition that held a bare majority (61 of 120) of seats. The latest polls give them only 25 seats. Their current coalition is projected at just 49 seats but Likud can expect another five seats from new parties. However, the Labor coalition will also fall short of a majority. Their existing coalition is also projected at 49 seats.

The wildcard is the new Kulanu party. Their interest is entirely local and domestic economic policies and polls say they could earn as many as ten seats in the new Knesset. They have flirted with both sides and there is no predicting where they will go.

But the really wild wildcard is the Joint List. These are the Arab parties and polls suggest they will win 12 or 13 seats. They will never ally with the racists in Likud but they probably would not officially join a Labor coalition.

Then there is Netanyah's current "come home to Likud" strategy telling voters to abandon the fringe parties in his coalition and vote for Likud. While it might boost Likud seats it could drop some of his partner parties below the 3.5% vote threshold required for any seats in the Knesset and alienate the others. It's the kind of selfish, cult of personality campaigning we've come to expect in American politics but I doubt it will be effective in an atmosphere that requires coalition building.

We shall see.

Are There Blacks in the SAE?

Sigma Alpha Epsilon troglodytes in Oklahoma got caught singing "There will never be a n****r in SAE." That begs the question, are there African-Americans in Sigma Alpha Epsilon? So I did a little digging, checking out bulletin boards and websites.

SAE was founded in pre-Civil War Alabama. Most of its members fought for the Confederacy, 74 died defending slavery.  Some chapters still celebrate that heritage. In 1992, Esquire magazine published an article exposing the racist culture of Southern fraternities.

According to the bulletin boards, diversity is more of a thing for the northern chapters. In the Deep South, "diversity" might mean allowing in a Lutheran or (gasp!) a Catholic. As an example I offer the Southern Methodist University chapter of the SAE. I picked the SMU chapter for a reason. It has a deserved reputation for the two R's - rape and racism. They also have a very convenient website where I could test the question, are there n****rs in the SAE?

SAE at SMU. I've seen more diversity at a Klan rally.

There are many photos of the fraternity's 2014 winter party. The only black visible is in the band. The 2014 spring initiation shows who they are inviting into the chapter. I've never seen a pastier collection of douchebags in my life. One guy appears to have a bit of a tan but most look like they haven't crawled out from under their rocks since puberty.

There may be a few token blacks in northern chapters although at least one northern chapter admitted a black to the fraternity only to kidnap him and leave him to die as part of a hazing ritual. Since boys will be boys and the victim was only a n****r, the killers were only charged with a misdemeanor. So, officially, no murder or homicide even happened.

The SAE is still as racist as it was in 1858. As for that song the OU freaks got caught singing? I strongly doubt it's an outlier, they learned it somewhere. I suspect it is a common refrain especially in the Land of Dixie. OU's problem is that they accidentally allowed in a pledge with a moral compass. The SAE fraternity won't make that mistake again.

The Night of the Murdered Poets

Yiddish is a lyrical language. During the first half of the 20th century, several countries, most notably the United States and Russia, had vibrant Yiddish language arts.

During the 1930's and '40, Yiddish radio was not uncommon especially in New York. While I only understand about a dozen words (Oy Vey!) I love listening to old swing recordings sung in Yiddish (The Barry Sisters singing "Chiribim Chiribom.").

What Is Yiddish?
Yiddish is a product of the Jewish Exile.  Isolated in the ghettos and shtetls of northern and eastern Europe, this Jewish language was formed much like Blacks isolated in American ghettos are creating a distinct communal language.

A century ago upwards of 12 million people spoke Yiddish, the largest concentrations found in Germany, Poland, Russia, and the United States. The Holocaust devastated half that population. In the United States, assimilation eliminated the tight knit communities necessary to preserve a distinct language. In Israel, Yiddish is kept alive by ultra orthodox sects.

And Russia
To tell the story of the Murdered Poets we have to start with the origins of the Soviet Union. Jews were predominate in the founding of the Soviet Union. A critical meeting of twelve Bolshevik leaders in October 1917 called for armed revolution that started two weeks later. Of the twelve, half were Russian Jews (including Leon Trotsky), four were Russians (including leader Lenin), and two were foreigners - Polish intellectual psychopath Felix Dzerzhinsky and an ignorant anti-Semitic rube from Georgia known as Stalin.

Stalin, Lenin, and Trotsky

Stalin, considered a loyal but energetic simpleton by Lenin, was named General Secretary of the Communist Party in 1922. Before being incapacitated by several strokes, Lenin wrote a paper describing Stalin as crude, rude, and inept. The paper was suppressed and after Lenin died, perhaps murdered, Stalin took total control of the Soviet Union.

Purges during the 1930's killed off most of Stalin's old Jewish comrades from the Revolution. Few new Jews were allowed into positions of power. Stalin did allow formation of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee (JAC) during World War II.

The Night of the Murdered Poets

Scene from the play "The Twenty-Seventh Man."

After the war, Stalin's paranoia got even worse. Shortly after the war he had concluded that Jewish writers and performers were all actually American spies. (Oddly, Sen. Joseph McCarthy had at the same time concluded that American Jewish artists were Russian spies.) The first to die was Solomon Mikhoels, a Yiddish theater star and chairman of the JAC. His murder was made to look like an accident and Mikhoels was given a state funeral.

Yiddish writers and Jewish intellectuals were arrested in 1948 and 1949 and accused of spying. They were tortured until they confessed. All save one. Yiddish poet Itzik Feffer was a loyal Stalinist. He was arrested along with the others but freely turned on his fellow writers and accused them of Jewish nationalism and anti-Soviet actions and so was never tortured.

Show trials were held. On August 12, 1952, thirteen Jewish prisoners, including Feffer, were executed at Lubyanka Prison.

Doctor's Plot and Holocaust Plans
Stalin wasn't done. As his health failed, Stalin became convinced Jewish doctors were poisoning him. Then he concluded that there was an international plot Zionist doctors trying to kill all Soviet leaders.  That devolved into the certainty that there was an American-Zionist-Israeli-Jewish conspiracy and that every Jew in the Soviet Union was trying to kill him. Stalin ordered four giant prisons built in Siberia to house every Jew in the Soviet Union. Foreign Minister Molotov's wife had already been arrested for being Jewish.

Before Stalin could implement his plan he fell in his bedroom. His personal doctors were all in prison so his bodyguards call top politicians. A few days of dithering was enough for Stalin to die. He died, ironically, on the Jewish holiday of Purim.

Bibi to Declare War

Tomorrow's the day that the Republican President of the United States, Benjamin Netanyahu, delivers his State of the Union address to Congress. He will, as he has done before, all but ask Congress for a declaration of war with Iran.

For years, Netanyahu has said that if the US doesn't bomb Iran then Israel will. For years, the US has not bombed Iran and neither has Israel. Netanyahu doesn't want to waste Israeli resources and lives on such a stupid war. He wants the US to fight a proxy war, to do all the stupid wasting, on his behalf.  Finally, he has an American Congress willing to act as his puppet.

This leads to an interesting thought experiment - What would happen if Congress declares a war the President didn't ask for? A Declaration of War requires only a simple majority to pass. It is a resolution, not a law. As such a Declaration of War is not subject to a presidential veto.

Obviously, President Obama would refuse to prosecute the war. But, Iran may not believe his diplomatic statements. They could respond by mining the Strait of Hormuz, trapping much of the Fifth Fleet (up to two carriers and 20 ships) in the Persian Gulf where it can be attacked relentlessly.  Israel would do nothing since the whole point of this is to force the US to do the fighting for her. There would be no grand global alliance against Iran as there was in the Afghan and Iraq wars.  The United States would be forced to fight a major war alone for the first time since 1898. And the war would be popular in some places as sharply rising oil prices would be a boon to US oil producing states.

But, perhaps, cooler heads in Iran would listen to President Obama. There is no actual shooting as the war declaration is ignored. Republicans for years have accused President Obama of treason for vague and idiotic reasons. This would give them actual grounds, aid and comfort to the enemy in a time of war. If a Republican like Ted Cruz gains the White House in 2016 he could file a criminal indictment against former President Obama for treason. Tried in the right court (i.e. Texas), a former president might be sentenced to execution for treason.

All of this is wildly unlikely. It's more likely that Mitch McConnell is an actual turtle-human hybrid. It's also possible that Netanyahu's speech will blow up at home and he will lose the Knesset elections set for two weeks from now. We can only pray.

The Unreal American

Pundit Glenn Harlen Reynolds loves this country or, more accurately, loves to fuck with this country. He love this country so much he wants to scrap the constitution and write a new one. He believes the biggest problem facing the United States is that the majority of Americans don't think exactly like him.

Glenn Reynolds manifesto.

He's come up with a solution which I'm certain he will write into his new, improved constitution. Require people pass a Patriotism Test before they are allowed to vote. He contends that Obama was elected president by unpatriotic citizens. His solution to prevent such a horror from ever reoccurring is to prevent unpatriotic Americans from voting at all.

He references a work of fiction where "the right to vote came only after some kind of dangerous public service." Oddly, by this rule Reynold himself would be disenfranchised as in his life he has never served the public in any way, dangerous or passive. So, I suspect when Reynolds writes that constitutional clause he will use the 1918 Soviet Union constitution as a template. In that constitution, only members of the Communist Party were allowed to vote, thereby excluding unpatriotic democrats. 

At the risk of giving Reynolds ideas, he might find subsequent versions of the Soviet constitution more to his liking. They granted universal suffrage but all candidates had to be nominated from patriotic branches of the Communist Party. This insured that no matter how unpatriotic the electorate was they were required to elect only Communist patriots.  I'm sure Reynolds could draft a text that requires all nominees be approved by the Tea Party.

Sign of Spring

I don't care if the snow is piled higher than an elephant's eye in Boston. Spring has sprung in drought torn California.

Just load it on a train and send it west, California will take all the snow you have.

Really, we'll take every flake.

The Sierra Nevada snowpack is so thick you can shovel it with a teaspoon.

There is another traditional sign of Spring, too.

The first Republican urging dropping nuclear bombs on someone.  Just like the swallows returning to Capistrano, you know its Spring when Republicans emerge from their Winter homes to declare the desperate need to nuke somebody. From Douglas MacArthur in Korea to Curtis LeMay in Vietnam, Republicans have always seen Spring as the season to allow a hundred mushroom clouds to bloom. Last year, the goal was nuking Iran. This year, the call is to nuke Iraq (like we haven't done enough to that country). Next year, who knows? It is one of the mysteries of the season.

Looking Into a Republican Soul

Republicans have a clear moral compass when choosing their political heroes. They love...

Candidates dumber than a kumquat as long as they act on their hatred of higher education.

Higher IQ and more Vitamin C than Scott Walker

 Judges with total contempt for courts, other judges, and the law particularly when that contempt is used to attack people they hate.

Politicians who believe it is better to die quickly in abject poverty than to live with disabilities.

Candidates incapable of hire a competent campaign staff because than means they will be great presidents.

There's a reason all the "smart money" is going to Jeb.

Judges who believe that innocence is no defense and that there is nothing unconstitutional about executing an innocent man.

Politicians who believe the earth is 6000 years old because that means they are gullible enough to swallow anything lobbyists tell them.

Candidates who believe that people would rather have no health insurance at all than have the chance to buy affordable health care.

Rotting, diseased flesh is the smell of freedom.

Anyone who shoots an unarmed black youth.

Congressional Medal of Honor: Movie Division

One of the funniest things this month is the movement to award the nation's highest award for valor to Chris Kyle because his "life" was the subject of a movie. The medal criteria, "distinguished himself conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty," is extreme and there is no evidence that Kyle ever met any of those criteria.

Snipers are not conspicuous. They hunt their prey steathfully from great distances and the only ones who have even put their lives at risk did so because they are bad at their job. All accounts are that Kyle was a very good sniper, meaning he was not a gallant risk-taker.

However, if we are going to start awarding medals to characters in movies, there are several who should be in line ahead of Kyle.

Capt. Nathan Brittles - She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (1949)

At great personal risk he entered the enemy camp to negotiate peace. When that failed he personally lead a raid to scatter the enemy's horses thereby preventing further hostilities and lose of life.

Capt. Webb Sloane - Prisoner of War (1954)

Finally giving Ronald Reagan the Medal of Honor conservatives believe he so richly deserves. At great personal risk, Capt. Sloane goes undercover as a POW during the Korean War to uncover harsh treatment given prisoners like waterboarding, mock executions, and other tortures. One of the worst movies of the 1950's.

Captain John H. Miller - Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Gallantly risk the lives of an entire squad of soldiers in an insane search for one soldier missing in action among the 1.3 million Allied soldiers involved in the Normandy invasion. Most of the squad dies heroically.

Query: What is it about movies that most of the heroic soldiers are captains?

Groundhog Day - a History

This February celebration began as a pagan holiday when people ran around naked to urge an early end to winter. It's got more boring with time.

Lupercalia

The earliest celebrations were called Februa and later Lupercalia.  Februa was when the shepherds would give themselves their first real baths of the year. Getting naked for washing in a purification ritual just sort of naturally evolved into a randy party in honor of that randy god, Pan. The Romans added a reference to the cave Lupercal where a wolf had raised Romulus and Remus but kept the party atmosphere dressed only in a goatskin loincloth.

Candlemas

As always, when Christians came to power they saw a popular holiday where everybody had fun and they hated it. But, Romans were used to a purification celebration in early February so early Christians simply rebranded it. They chose an obscure biblical event when a priest and a prophetess spotted the baby Jesus and recognized him as the Messiah and applied it to February 2. They kept the purification theme but replaced the loinclothes with candles (not like that, you pervert). Dancing about nearly naked was replaced with slowly walking around, fully clothed, holding candles in solemn reverence.

Groundhog Day

In the cold of Northern Europe, February 2 was also the traditional day when bears and other hibernating mammals, like groundhogs, would rouse themselves from their winter's sleep to take a look around. If it was bright and sunny (and cold) they'd conclude that winter wasn't through and go back to bed for a brief, six week, nap. If, however, it was miserable and raining they knew that the snow was done for the season and it was time to get up. When Christianity came to Germany they never could reconcile parading around with candles and the cold, furry animal tradition. Candlemas became a forgotten holy day in the Protestant calendar while the Germanic tradition lived on as Groundhog Day.

Then Bill Murray made the perfect movie and time stopped.