News for the Easily Distracted

Nutty Newt Surprise
With Herm Cain (thanks to an overly hormonal mid-life crisis) going bad faster than a vegetarian pizza left out in the sun, it appears the next Flavor of the Week is going to be the Newtster. Boy, Tim Pawlenty really dropped out too soon.

Slow Me a Rivers

The San Diego Chargers have a well earned reputation of lethargic under-achievers. QB Philip Rivers is so easily distracted his forgetting to grab the ball lost a game this week. Coach Norv Turner is now telling his quarterback to stop trying so hard.

The Graying of America
I remember when terrorists were young, foolish fanatics. It is quite disappointing to know we are reduced to watching a band of geriatric Wolverine (lame Red Dawn not hot X-Men) wannabes bungling their revolution. ("Don't blow up the bathroom yet, I have to pee again.")

Defending Rick Perry

I absolutely object to the charge that Rick Perry was drunk during that famous New Hampshire speech. If you watch the video it's clear Perry did three lines of cocaine before going on stage. Perry only gets drunk before grabbing his gun and taking his dog for a walk.