Sunday, September 27, 2015

Ben Carson's Religion

Carson's obsession with Islam makes his own religion fair game. The only thing most people know about it is that they consider Saturday to be their holy day. But there is much more.

Seventh-day Adventist - Beginning
His faith is one of those American religious inventions like Mormonism and Jehovah's Witness. It developed in the mid-19th century out of the Millerite Movement where William Miller predicted the Second Coming on Oct. 22, 1844. When it didn't happen (the Great Disappointment) the Millerites splintered. One faction decided that Jesus had in fact returned on that date just not to Earth but to the heavenly sanctuary.
What religion will grow from our latest Disappointment?

It's sorta like Jesus had taken a really long vacation. I guess getting crucified really takes it out of a god. Anyhow, Jesus came back ready to work as Perry Mason in the ultimate courtroom procedural.

Investigative Judgment
A major tenet is that everyone who ever lived has a book. Since 1844 there has been a court trial with Satan prosecuting and Jesus defending. Everything is examined. This was only supposed to take a few years but apparently there have been more motions, evidence, and witnesses than expected, so we are in the second century of trials and the court backlog is only getting bigger.

Creationism
I don't care if Carson is a doctor, he is still a scientific idiot. Adventists are Young Earth creationists. They believe that the Earth is 6,000 years old, that it was created in six literal days, and that dinosaurs and humans coexisted.
Cereal
Adventists are health nuts, over a third are vegetarians. They also hate masturbation, believing it pollutes both body and soul. These views famously merged in the person of John Kellogg who invented a new category of foods, including Corn Flakes and Grapenuts, to keep people's bowels moving and right hand still.

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