The Republican War of Roses

Give Benito a comb over and, Trump!

I've been looking for historical parallels to the Trump Wars of 2015. I've toyed with Italy in the 1920's where Donald Trump is the reincarnated pompous asshole Mussolini who turned his media skills into a movement that took control of the country with his army of thuggish Black Shirt followers.

But better matching the complexities of the Republican field is England's Wars of the Roses in the 15th century.

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Let's start with Jeb! Bush who is playing the role of Henry VI. Bush has inherited the crown from the old royal line. He has all the old king's advisers and the advantage of a kingly purse and a royal entourage of sycophants. But he is also a hapless idiot who always seems to be getting trapped in one mess or another.

The Koch brothers are the Earl of Warwick, the Kingmakers. They don't want to be king, they want to own the king. Through their dark machination they manipulate affairs trying to insure that whoever is the winner is beholden to them. They don't care who is king as long as he follows their commands.

He wore a hairy crown.

Donald Trump is clearly Richard III.  Ruthless, blood thirsty, corrupted and corrupting, Donald is all the things that Richard longed to be. Like Richard, he is related to and a bitter rival of the Kingmakers. In this case the blood ties are billionairehood. The rivalry is only one billionaire can own the throne. Besides, of all the candidates in the race who else would you totally believe murdered two children.

The remaining question is who shall play Henry VII? Who will be the double-dealing, backstabber who will be standing on a pile of corpses on Bosworth Field? Will it be Marco Rubio, once an ally of Henry VI who betrayed his mentor when he reached for the crown? Perhaps it will be Ted Cruz, a sycophant to Richard III lurking in the shadows like a real life Wormtongue.

In the end this war won't matter. History will only remember fondly Good King Hal and Bonny Queen Bess.