A Little Reality

Three Blind Republican Mice

2012-01-27T11:46:00.000-08:00

Brewer's Finger
Arizona governor did not have some sort of dispute with the President this week. Like many other Republican politicians (Herm Cain, Newt Gingrich) she saw an opportunity to shamelessly shill her book.

Brewer wrote about eating scorpions for breakfast.

Her book went from selling nothing to, currently, four days on the best sellers list.

Cell Block Endorsement
Mitt Romney scored a powerful endorsement from former congressman Duke Cunningham. Writing from his prison cell, felon Duke Cunningham technically endorsed Newt Gingrich but its obvious that the Romney camp solicited the endorsement for Newt.

Soylent Green
Oklahoma state Sen. Ralph Shortey is upset that the general public has noticed his bill outlawing the use of aborted fetuses in food. "This wasn’t an open invitation for the country to chime in," he told the LA Times.

If you read Shortey's legislation closely it does not outlaw the use of human fetuses in the production of animal feed. There are over two million hogs in Oklahoma for whom fetuses might make an excellent source of protein.

To the Moon, Newt

2012-01-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

The science geek in me likes the thought of returning to space exploration after 40 years of mankind huddling safely on earth.

But the realist in me knows that Gingich's call for a permanent colony on the moon in eight years is less rational than Ralph Kramden's old threat.

To the Moon, Alice.

First, we lack the technology. Humans have yet to develop a permanent undersea colony. It is far easier to supply the essentials (air, water, food, energy) a few fathoms below the surface of an ocean teeming with life than to support a facility on a barren rock a quarter of a million miles from the nearest anything.

Second, how does Newt plan to pay for this? I guess he could eliminate the Food Stamp program. Naw, ain't enough money there. Newt would have to support a return to the tax levels when President Kennedy first proposed an United States moon mission. The top marginal tax rate in 1962 was 91%.

Romney: Unearned Income

2012-01-25T09:12:00.000-08:00

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin ~ Matt 6:28

Q: How does Mitt Romney make his money?
A: By doing nothing at all.

Mittens is the poster boy for the idle capitalist. He makes $57,000 a day yet he produces nothing. He does not grow food or make cars (like his dad). He does not build homes. He is not even a thief who breaks into those homes to steal other people's money. That, at least, would require some degree of effort on his part.

Romney sits. His investment shuffle around like a game of Three-Card Monte making money with each movement.Romney scrapes profits from the sweat of other people's toil while he himself never soils his hands with effort.

Mittens doesn't earn anything because he doesn't do anything. And the tax code, in its infinite wisdom, rewards idleness. People who work and earn a salary through their efforts pay taxes at twice the rate of people like Romney who sit and vegetate.

Belle Baker: The Best Singer You Never Heard Of

2012-01-24T09:08:00.000-08:00

I know you don't know Belle Baker, I hadn't heard of her until a couple of months ago.

Born the year William McKinley was elected in the New York Jewish ghetto, Belle was singing on the street for pennies by the age of eight. She became a vaudeville star along side Al Jolson and Fanny Brice and a Broadway star in the 1920's. Her range included jazz, ragtime, and Yiddish tearjerkers which she preformed with a bold, expressive voice.

It is a great pity that Belle Baker's voice has mostly been lost while lesser talents (like Fanny Brice) are remembered. The above song, "You've Brought a New Kind of Love," is the song I fell in love with. For a change of pace, here is a 1924 recording of "Hard-Hearted Hannah."

Enjoy.

Florida Primary, the World's Scariest Rollercoster

2012-01-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

I don't think I've seen an election season like this in my half century of sentience. Take Florida. Two month's ago, Newt Gingrich was leading Romney by 25% in the polls. Last week, Mittens has a 20% lead over the Salamander in the same polls. Today, Newt leads Mitt again by better than 9%.

Entire decades can go by with less polling volatility. Nobody dare predict what the result of the actual election next week will be but I guarantee you if Florida held another vote in March the results would be completely different.

South Carolina Lessons

2012-01-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

Call it "The Revenge of the Tea Party." The furious Tea Party. The burn it down and string them up Tea Party.

Gingrich voters

It's easy to read too much into the South Carolina results. All things being equal this is the natural result. Romney wins his almost home state (New Hampshire) and Gingrich wins his almost home state of South Carolina.

Romney voters

Talk about a horrible meme for Romney that the only demographic he won decisively was the "incomes over $200,000" group.

Also horrible are the stories that Romney was busing in Mormons from Virginia to pad his rally crowds in South Carolina. Rich Mormons, not a huge base to build on.

The chatter in conservative blogs is that Gingrich will destroy the Party, the Washington establishment and elite media are shoving Romney down our throats, and that they will leave the Party if Romney (Gingrich) gets nominated. I'd feel better about this except I heard it four years ago between the Obama and Clinton factions.

Romney hurt himself by overspending. He flooding the state in robocalls, a dozen calls a day. There was a shitload of mail every day too. My experience is if you hit voters too hard they turn against you.

Romney's release of a couple years of taxes will not quiet the opposition. His tax returns were a symptom, not the disease. If he releases summaries (likely) then the missing information will be jumped on. If his release is voluminous, all the worksheets, every capital gains transaction and every deduction, then it will magnify his too elite status.

The volatility shows a decided lack of enthusiasm. If you supported Mitt yesterday, Newt today, and who knows who tomorrow you are not really supporting anyone. All three primary results so far have been coin flip elections with voters deciding almost randomly in the voting booth.

Romney will probably win Florida, although two days ago I would have used the word "certainly." Early voting and absentee voting can calm the last minute volatility. If Romney does win he will have righted the ship and the Republican power structure can relax. If a late Gingrich charge overwhelms the 200,000 votes Romney has already locked in then we will see a highly entertaining panic reaction out of the establishment.

The Cowardly Mittens

2012-01-20T16:03:00.000-08:00

Mitt Romney, hereafter affectionately known as Mittens, has developed a serious case of stage fright. His total inability to give a coherent answer when asked a softball question about his taxes has got Mittens skittish around reporters.

In politics there are three kinds of questions:
1) Dumb questions - "Elvis or Johnny Cash?" (from CNN's John King)
2) Real questions - "If Israel attacked Iran to prevent Tehran from getting nuclear weapons, would you help Israel launch the attack or support it otherwise?" (Mike Gonzales - Heritage Foundation. These are exceedingly rare and almost always come from people without press credentials.)
3) Softball questions - Most debate questions either have the correct answer embedded inside the question or are on a topic that any candidate with the IQ of a donut should expect and have a scripted response to. (John King to Newt Gingrich) These are so easy they require no actual thought.

Mittens has been scared of reporters all campaign. He's okay in staged events where everything is controlled and he has several paid shills in the crowd. But asking him questions terrifies him. Last night put him over the edge. Reporters covering his campaign are being treated like diseased cattle, herded into distant corners or excluded entirely.

Poor Mittens is just a quivering bowl of jelly now. With two more debates scheduled for Florida, Mittens is throwing a pissy fit. He doesn't want to go on stage anymore and you can't make him!!!

Now, I'm no fan of presidential debates (see questions insert above) but now that the crowd has thinned out they have a chance of producing some real insight into the candidates. Too bad about Mittens.

South Carolina Circus

2012-01-19T12:03:00.000-08:00

South Carolina is too small for a republic and too large for an insane asylum. ~ James Petigru

Things are sure getting busy in the Palmetto State.

Newt's Wife
Mitt Romney's fingerprints are all over the Marianne Gingrich ABC interview. The timing of the interview and especially the rumor bombing that is forcing ABC to air the interview before the South Carolina primary can be easily traced to Romney agents pushing the story.

Will Marianne's "you ruined my life now I'll ruin yours" interview work? Who knows, but we already know that Newt is a slimy, muck dwelling relative of a toad and I doubt there is anything his former wife can say that will change that perception.

Mitt's Taxes
Why is Romney putting off releasing his taxes until April? He currently has a team of tax lawyers and forensic accountants sanitizing his 2011 tax return. His 2011 return will be a work of art. Not so the returns he has previously filed. Those returns will show him taking advantage of every loophole ever invented for the profit of the ultra-wealthy. Romney would murder to keep those early returns secret.

Perry's Withdrawal
I would have loved to have listened in as Rick Perry's advisors explained why he should drop out now. They probably told him, using single syllable words, that he was in danger of losing to Stephen Colbert surrogate Herman Cain and that would make him the laughing stock of the nation.

Iowa Truth
The last bit of South Carolina news is out of Iowa. While Romney led the Iowa caucuses by eight votes NBC officially calling it a Romney victory. Now that the final tally shows Rick Santorum won by four times that many voters the NBC line is that the result was a "virtual tie." What wingnuts say about the "mainstream media bias" is not entirely loopy.

Child Labor Is Healthy

2012-01-18T09:08:00.000-08:00

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Obviously) has come up with an interesting childhood fitness plan - send them out into the fields and down the mines to work off that obesity with hard labor.

We all know that child labor laws are evil socialism. Godless Massachusetts began the trend in the 19th century with a law restricting children to 10-hour work days. Federal child labor restrictions were declared unconstitutional in 1918 (certainly the reference Scalia will use). While a later, Roosevelt court accepted child labor laws that will certainly go once the Roberts Court gets around to it.

Fundamentalist Plague

2012-01-17T13:04:00.000-08:00

We all know about Islamic fundamentalists but just about every religion has their own version of wacko extremists.

Jews (Haredi)

This post was originally going to talk only about these guys who cursed and spat upon an eight year-old girl (at right with her mother). Her crime? She wore long sleeves and a calf-length skirt, just like a whore. They have organized gangs of thugs who assault any woman they deem immodest and then attack the police should they try to rescue her.

Because the Likud Party needs the ultra-orthodox parties to form a ruling coalition their extremist beliefs are gaining official recognition. When a female pediatrics professor was honored for her research she was forbidden to appear on the podium by the government minister because he demanded gender segregation.

Catholics (Opus Dei)

Blessed be pain. Loved be pain. Sanctified be pain. . . Glorify pain! ~ The Way 208

Believes in self-abuse and that the only thing wrong with the Spanish Inquisition was that it ever ended. They don't believe in overt action, their membership is a closely held secret. Their modus operandi is to secrete themselves into positions of political power where they can impose their will upon an unaware public. Supreme Court justices John Roberts, Antonin Scalia, and Samuel Alito are almost certainly Opus Dei. Presidential candidate Rick Santorum has openly praised Opus Dei.

Opus Dei has held a strange affection for fascism. Founder Josemaría Escrivá supported both Hitler and Francisco Franco. Most military dictatorships in Latin America, notably Chile's Pinochot, have been supported by Opus Dei.

Protestants (Christian Identity)

The Oklahoma City bombing? A Christian Identity terrorist act. So too have been an orgy of black church burnings, abortion clinic bombings, and an alarming array of violent crimes.

Their belief system is simple: Only Nordic and Celtic peoples are God's chosen, other whites are of polluted blood; darker races are all the soulless spawn of Satan. Science is a Jewish conspiracy, so is peace, so is freedom.

Hindus (Sri Ram Sena and others)
Eastern religions are no better. Gandhi was assassinated by a Hindu extremist. Like the others on this list Hindu extremists abhor peace and love. They believe women ought to be unseen, unheard, and treated like chattel. And they believe the only use for those of other faiths is a painful death.

Mormons (polygamists)

There is no such thing as a 'Mormon Fundamentalist.' ~ Gordon B. Hinckley

There are extremist Mormon sects that still practice polygamy and its recreational sideline of child rape. Officially, Mormons no longer practice plural marriage. However they do believe there was nothing wrong with it, it's just out of favor at the moment.

Mitt Romney's great grandfather fled the United States to Mexico in 1884 to continue his polygamist lifestyle. Miles Romney married four women in the US and a fifth in Mexico. There is no direct evidence that Mitt has married more than once. Mormonism is unique in many regards, including the church policy of stealing the souls of the dead.

Other Links

Ultra-orthodox Jewish publications excise women from photos.
The Truth about Opus Dei.
Christian Identity Politics.
Polygamy in Mitt's Family Tree.

Peaceful California

2012-01-16T13:03:00.000-08:00

Of the joys of living in the Golden State, two of the biggest is that our primary is late spring and we don't have to suffer through the saturation media buys telling us every candidate of every party is a treasonous whore. Also, it has been a long time since California has been a battleground state in a contested election.

While we always seem to have some billionaire Republican trying to buy the governor's office or a Senate chair, and the cacophony of political ads is so loud and annoying that anarchy seems a quieter alternative. Presidential seasons tend to be relatively calm and blissfully peaceful.

I can't imagine the hell that New Hampshire, Florida, and Ohio experience every four years.

On Unicorns and God

2012-01-15T10:23:00.000-08:00

There is no more reason to believe in God than to believe in unicorns (Source: on-line conversations among others). This pretty little statement has theists on the internet tying themselves into knots trying to debunk.

Arguments Unicorns are Real

They are mentioned in the Bible, just like God. (Job 39:9-10)
Their horns have been found - they look a lot like narwhal tusks.
The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland, like the bald eagle is the national animal of the United States. Bald eagles exist, ergo unicorns must also exist.
Until the 19th century, belief in unicorns was widespread. (source)

Arguments on Existence of God

Mentioned in the Bible, just like unicorns.
Physical evidence limited to a painted blanket (Shroud of Turin).
Belief in God is widespread.
Ah, but, because...(all the philosophical arguments).

Theologyweb has and interesting discussion on the topic from both sides.

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn ~ The Unicorn Song by the Irish Rovers

Santorum Hypocrisy and Other Things

2012-01-14T11:36:00.000-08:00

Santorum - Selective Pro-Choicer

Rick Santorum hates abortion except when it involves his family. Santorum's position is that all abortions, including for rape or incest, should be illegal and doctors who perform abortions should be imprisoned. However, when his own wife had a pregnancy that if carried to term would result in a stillborn child and the death of the mother Santorum choose to have doctors induce a second trimester abortion. I'm not criticizing the choice but his politics that would deny the right for anyone else to make that choice.

Santorum's Grandpa Was a Commie

Santorum loves telling the tale of the lessons he learned from his grandfather fleeing Italian fascism and working hard in Pennsylvania coal mines. What he fails to mention is that Pietro Santorum would spit in his grandson's face for being a stooge of the bourgeoisie. See, Pietro was an active Communist and if Rick were an honest man he'd mention that.

Mossad In Iran
The Israeli secret service is actively assassinating Iranian nuclear scientists. I don't have much of a problem with that as they consider it self-defense and it probably is. They are also recruiting agents to engage in kidnappings and suicide bombing inside Iran. This is straight up state sponsored terrorism. To recruit their terrorist agents, Mossad is pretending to be the CIA. They are doing this because they are recruiting their terrorists from the ranks of Muslim extremists who would never help Jews and so that any blowback would endanger US forces and not the Israel homeland. Of course, the US government is just a bunch of schmucks who sit there and take it.

Stephen Colbert for President, Again

2012-01-13T08:04:00.000-08:00

I love recycling an old post, especially one I can replay with few revisions. A lot of funny people have been running for President recently (Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Herman Cain), it's a concept that just doesn't get old.

The traditional path to the presidency is to write a book and then announce you are a candidate on a television chat show. (It used to be fight in a war and then marry a rich woman but John Kerry [and John McCain]* proved that formula doesn't work any longer.) Stephen Colbert has announced he is [thinking about]* running for president (in South Carolina). Stephen (can I call you Stephen?) is not the first comedian to run for president. Some will note that the only way to understand the Bush presidency is to assume it is all just a comedy routine (It's not?). [And the only way to watch the 2012 list of Republican candidates without an overwhelming urge for self-immolation is to believe they are trying to be funny.]*

In 1940, Gracie Allen of the team of Burns and Allen (If you only know George Burns as a solo act you missed the best half of his career.) ran for president on the Surprise Party ticket. She made a whistle-stop tour of all of the hit radio shows of the time. Her campaign platform included taking pride in the National Debt (It's the largest in the world!) and putting Congress on a commission system, whenever the nation prospers Congress gets ten percent of the take.

Earlier (1928), Will Rogers ran for president against Herbert Hoover (He would have made the Depression fun) as the Anti-Bunk Party ticket. Prohibition was the law of the land them. His campaign promises include, "wine for the rich, beer for the poor and moonshine for the prohibitionists."

Make every speaker, as soon as he tells all he knows, sit down. That will shorten your speeches so much you will be out of here by lunch every day. ~ Will Rogers after attending the Democratic National Convention

Of course, Pat Paulsen (motto: If elected, I will win.) is the only thing that made the 1968 election (Vietnam War, Richard Nixon, good times!) tolerable. A regular on the irreverent Smothers Brothers television show, he brought the only small sense of reality to an election where Richard Nixon was the peace candidate.

Paulsen on gun control: "Let us not be ledmess by those who would mislead us. Let no man take away our liberties. Stand up and be counted...Let's preserve our freedom to kill."

Paulsen on poverty: "You can't just give poor people money. The poor people will just go out and buy food and clothes and pay rent and junk like that." [Reminds me of Rick Santorum's view of "bla people."]*

Paulsen on corruption: "Let's all remember that we have a government 'of the people...for the people...and by the people...' and there are very few people in our government that you can't buy."

Stephen, make us proud.

* Denotes 2012 update.

Four Ways God Screwed Up Humans

2012-01-12T14:33:00.000-08:00

We are supposed to be God's greatest creation, but he left out some really useful shit he gave other animals.

4.Opposable Big Toes

Most of our primate cousins have them and they would be incredibly useful. We could pick things up off the ground without all that annoying bending over. We could hold a book and type on our laptops at the same time. And we could double our sexting output.

3. Nictitating Membranes

Also called the Third Eyelid. Lots of animals have a transparent eyelid that keeps out dust or water or overly bright light while still providing some degree of vision. We have had to invent all sorts of devises (goggles, sunglasses) to make up for their absence. Humans do have a vestigial third eyelid called the Plica Semilunaris, it's where eye gunk collects while we sleep.

2. Ultraviolet Vision

Birds have it, bees have it, even educated fleas have the ability to see in the ultraviolet light range. It adds an extraordinary additional pallet to the visual experience. Its usefulness is so vital that many animals rely on it and it is so outside our ability to understand that scientists still don't know why animals can see the ultraviolet spectrum.

1. Internal Gonads
This is a guy thing. Many male animals have their testes safely stored inside. Birds never have to be concerned about a groin shot on national television. Crocodiles can cavort in the Nile all day without worrying about being kicked in the balls. While it's true a lot of mammals have their highly pain sensitive nuts dangling dangerously between their legs it can only be described as a massive design flaw.

Tales from the One Percent

2012-01-11T13:38:00.000-08:00

If you or I broke the finger of some waitperson at a local restaurant we'd be trying to make bail on criminal assault charges. But John Castle is a rich bastard, one of those leveraged buyout vampires who grow wealthy sucking the life out of other people's hard work.

It's not like the waiter poured hot coffee on Castle's head, something that might justify a brief spasm of rage. No, no, no. Castle was pissed because the waiter presented him with a bill. Faced with a gentle request to pay for the food he had eaten, Castle allegedly grabbed the waiter's arm and twisted it violently. (I'm assuming the twisting was violent because finger bones don't crack easily.)

Palm Beach police are "investigating" (cop speak for "trying not to piss off the rich dude again"). The waiter has had to hire a lawyer, he will probably get fired and black listed from every swank eatery in south Florida. Such is life in the aristocratic United States.

Romney's Chances Against Obama

2012-01-10T15:40:00.000-08:00

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made. ~ Jean Giraudoux

Assuming Mittens doesn't finish in fourth place tonight he will be the nominee simply because he has more resources than all the other candidates combined. The question before the court is how will he do in the general election?

So far, Mitt's attempts at sincerity have been noticeably plastic. He has even failed at faking fake sincerity. His robotic recitation of America the Beautiful blanches all the humanity out of it and is less inspiring than a hangnail.

I doubt Romney will ever succeed at convincing people he means what he says or that he means much of anything. Baring a double dip depression I doubt he has much of a chance running against a feeling human being.

The Year Without Winter

2012-01-09T07:51:00.000-08:00

It's still early. There are more than ten weeks left before the vernal equinox marks the end of winter so there is still time for a few saving blizzards, but it is beginning to look like 2012 will be the Year Without Winter.

Temperature records are being set throughout the northern states. Less than 20% of the continental United States has snow cover, normally in mid-January it is about 50%.

By this date Buffalo, NY averages 38 inches of snow, this season just five inches. Lake Erie water is 5 degrees above normal and may not freeze up (once routine) for the third time in the last 15 years.

Milwaukee (avg. 15 inches, to date under two inches). Minneapolis (avg. 2 feet, this season ten inches). (source). The California snowpack, vital for summer survival in Los Angeles, sits at a microscopic 19% of average. A lack of snowfall in the Plains states means less groundwater for corn and wheat in the spring. Conversely, it has been a heavy winter in southern Alaska. Snow levels in the fishing village of Cordova are at 18 feet.

The Cause¹
The jet stream has shifted well to the north keeping storm systems, that would normally track through the Plains states into New England, in northern Canada. This, in turn, is caused by a Positive Phase in the Arctic Oscillation² (low Arctic atmospheric pressure) concurring with a strong La Nina.

La Ninas are caused by cool surface ocean temperatures in the tropical South Pacific which, in turn, are caused by an upwelling of cold water from the deep ocean. They are part of an oscillation with El Ninos when surface temperatures are unusually hot.

The Cause of the Cause³
Think of the global climate as a complex self-adjusting gear box. Think of carbon dioxide as a monkey wrench tossed into the works. If one gear loses a few teeth the other gears change to keep a circulation going. It may not be the same circulation we've grown used to but the machine doesn't care what the ball bearings think.

The Bering Sea gets warmer during Positive Phase Arctic Oscillation (and cools during increasingly rare Negative Phases). That means less heat exchange due to north-south current flows. This makes the El Nino/La Nina oscillation more prominent and has made this oscillation deeper and more frequent. That means more and more Americans will only be able to dream of a White Christmas. And in states like Texas, California, and Arizona water will be a commodity more valuable than gold or oil.

¹ The science is far more complicated than this short, simplistic description.
² Scientists are unsure as to the cause with explanations ranging from solar activity to the size of the Arctic ice pack. They do agree that in the last 40 years Arctic low pressures have become unusually common.
³My personal theory.

Romney's Noblesse Oblige

2012-01-08T08:44:00.000-08:00

Falls under the category of Shit His Dad Said (or whatever is the upper crust equivalent).

Mitt's father explained to his son that politics is not a job but an indulgence for the privileged and unsuitable for the vulgar proletariat. And Mitt is so proud of this aristocratical advice he repeats it in public without a hint of shame.

New Hampshire Anti-Education Law

2012-01-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

Republicans hate education.

We cannot help having a school, but we think it advisable that as little as possible be taught therein. ~ 19th century British reverend

For a very long time they have felt that, for the common rabble, anything beyond just enough learning to read the Bible would lead to dangerous activities like thinking. In New Hampshire, the same state that wants to legislatively return to a 13th century feudal society, has passed a law allowing each parent to limit what his child is taught.

For example, I don't want my child to learn the Godless heliocentric theory of the solar system. Schools would be forced to teach him that the Sun revolves around the Earth. If little Johnny struggles with math, a parent could demand his school stop trying to teach it to him. A parent could insist that young Dietrich not be exposed to Black History Month lessons and the school would have to construct a curriculum that preserves his family's master race philosophies.

As for evolution, New Hampshire Republicans have bills specifically addressing that issue. HB1148 requires that evolution be taught as an atheistic, communist, fascist theory. HB1457 requires that children be taught they do not have to believe any science that is atheistic, communist, or fascist.

And I'm supposed to care who voters in that state think ought to be President?

Hew Hampshire's Magna Carta

2012-01-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

This is the perfect unity of lunacy and history. Three Republican legislators in Hew Hampshire have submitted a bill requiring that all future bills passed in that state be justified with text from the Magna Carta.

Magna Carta (Latin: Great Charter) - A peace treaty forced on King John (see the movie Ironclad) by rebelling feudal barons in the year 1215 because of his unsuccessful wars, high taxes, and general dickish behavior towards the landed gentry. Civil War quickly broke out and King John died the following year.

The Magna Carta is not a bad document, the US Constitution is based on it, but it is seriously out of date. In the United Kingdom, all but three of the clauses have been repealed. Basing modern laws on the Magna Carta is as rational as basing science curricula on a 2,000 year-old book written by priests. Among the clauses of the Magna Carta are:

Women may be forced to marry but not to a "lower social standing." (6)
Interest need not always be paid on money borrowed from Jews. (10,11)
Taxes may only be levied for ransom, to reward a rich man's son or marry off his daughter. (15)
Only the wealthy may judge other wealthy accused of crimes. (21)
No one may be arrested solely on the word of a woman. (54)
All foreign-born soldiers and all mercenaries are to be expelled from the country. (51)
"Inquests of novel disseisin, mort d'ancestor, and darreinpresentment shall be taken only in their proper county court." (18) [I challenge any New Hampshire Republican to translate this sentence into modern English.]

Laws written with the Magna Carta in mind would be misogynous, anti-Semitic, and class-based.

The same legislature has voted to end effective public education. You can't build a viable feudal society without a large serf class.

Why Santorum?

2012-01-05T14:23:00.000-08:00

George Will is calling for Santorum to be Romney's Veep; Santorum is the current leader of the Not-Romney movement.

First, a Romney-Santorum ticket will have major problems in the Deep South. Southern Baptists consider both the Mormon and Catholic churches to be bizarre cults.

Second, Santorum's brief visit to the top is entirely because he was the least viable candidate in the field. In the past several months all the more popular choices were given a taste test first. Bachmann, Perry, Trump, Cain, and Gingrich all were tried out and failed for various reasons.

(In turn, nutjob, idiot, Donald fucking Trump, horndog, creep).

We all figured Ron Paul leading the polls was the sign that the bottom of the barrel had been reached. He is so despised by mainstream conservatives that the most heinous crime at the blog RedState, expressing even mild support for Paul, results in immediate excommunication. Yet, somehow there was even more scrungy dregs deeper in the barrel - a frothy mixture called Santorum.
If Santorum had been a stronger candidate he would have reached double digits earlier. It was because of his weakness as a candidate that the Not-Romney movement ignored him for so long. His surge is desperation, not support.

That doesn't mean Santorum won't take the nomination. A substantial number of Republicans would rather see any idiot as president than Mitt Romney.

Psst...Sarah, your party may

finally be ready for you.

Iowa Cramdown Politics

2012-01-04T10:38:00.000-08:00

The only interesting things coming from the Iowa caucus.

After four years and $4.3 million dollars, Mitt Romney improved his vote total in Iowa by exactly nothing.
That $4.3 million (campaign and super-PAC) spending amounts to $143 per vote. Santorum's votes cost just eighteen bucks each.
Newt Gingrich doesn't want to be President anymore, all he wants is bloody vengeance against Romney. This should be fun.
Conservatives hate Romney so much that are beginning to look at Jon fucking Huntsman.

And none of this matters (Iowa never does) because Romney is just as inevitable now as he was in October - no more, no less.

It's Going to Be a Long, Long Year

2012-01-03T09:52:00.000-08:00

Just three days into an election year and I am already sick, bored, disgusted, horrified, disillusioned, and nauseated. Only ten more months to go. Help! Please!!

Thanks. I feel better.

A Christmas Story for the American Police State

2012-01-01T10:49:00.000-08:00

Some schmo got a gag gift for Christmas, probably something like this.

Being adorably gullible and believing it real, he took his gift to WalMart to buy a vacuum cleaner, a microwave, and a few other tidbits (total value $476). WalMart called the cops because if there is anyone the company hates worse than their employees it's their customers.

Here is where the police state shows itself. In a rational society the police would slowly (using small words) explain the bill isn't real and take him home to either sleep it off (if he were drunk out of his gourd) or to take his medication.

But in this modern America the police have jails to fill and assistant DAs to make work for. They threw the poor schmuck in the slammer, a judge slapped an insane $17,500 bail him, and he now faces several felony charges.

Year In Review: Coulda Been Worse

2011-12-31T11:28:00.000-08:00

Because, what the hell, everyone else is doing it.

Wars: 1 down, 1 to go, 1 pending
The United States has finally gotten out of Iraq having long ago forgotten why we invaded them in the first place (WMDs, remember?). Iraq is now free to devolve back into the sectarian civil war they have indulged in for decades before occupation. The Afghanistan War continues even though there is no real goal and no real plan.
Will Israel start things by bombing Iran's nuclear facilities and then pass it on to the US troops to do all the actual dying? Will Ahmadinejad get bored with the waiting and start a war by blocking the Strait of Hormuz? Or will a freshly elected Mittster invade to get some love from Republican neo-cons?

Terrorism: OBL is DOA
Bin Laden was killed this year, although having to wait through ten years of failure to get there takes some of the fizz out of the champagne.

Arab Winter
The democracy movement in Egypt has been captured by a military dictatorship that is more brutal than the Mubarak government was. Syria's president is engaged in genocide against Syrians. Tunisia seems to be doing okay; we'll see about Libya.

Unemployment: Inching towards full employment

It used to be that full employment meant that everybody had a job. Then it was decided that having a reservoir of people desperate for work was a good thing (for businesses) so "full employment" was defined as an unemployment rate of 3%. In recent years that number has been inching up. The current definition of "full employment" (NAIRU) is nine million people (6%) without work.

Republican Politics

The Republican presidential field is the biggest group of stooges in politics since Larry, Moe, and Shemp filmed a two-reeler titled Three Dark Horses.

Marriage
If it weren't for gays, nobody would be getting married nowadays, meaning most Family Values Republicans are really anti-marriage.

Social Equality: a bad year
The Great Disenfranchisement continues as Republicans set up barriers to prevent the poor, minorities, students, and the elderly from voting. American citizens of Hispanic decent are being deported. A new law allows confinement without trial of American citizens.

It Coulda Been Worse

Republicans could control all levels of government. As it is, they control Congress, the Supreme Court, the Federal Reserve, and the military.

Merchants of War

2011-12-29T08:52:00.000-08:00

No country in the world sells more weapons of war than the United States. In fact, the US manufactures and sells more military hardware to the developing world than every other country in the world combined.

Click image.

Tanks and planes are disposable commodities (the goal being to blow up the other guy's shit), the biggest profits come if you can supply both sides of a conflict.

The US is selling $11 billion worth of jets to wanna-be petty Shi'ite dictator Nouri al-Maliki of Iraq. The US is also selling $29 billion worth of new jets to the petty Sunni monarchs of Saudi Arabia. Iraq is going to want to play with its new toys. The Saudis are going to want to protect their Sunni brothers in Iraq. The chances the two countries are going to start shooting down each others planes are high. You know what that means?

Profits, Baby!!!

Who Will Win the Iowa Caucus?

2011-12-27T08:37:00.000-08:00

As a rule, the Iowa Caucus is predictive of nothing. Winning means little, losing means less. The most important thing about the caucus is that it weeds out the wastrel candidates who devote too many resources to Iowa and can't compete in the rest of the country.

Virginia GOP Ballot

2011-12-24T14:35:00.000-08:00

Republicans have given me an early Christmas present. Only Mitt and Ron Paul qualified for the ballot in Virginia. Most states pretty much allows anyone with a pulse on the ballot (New Hampshire has 33 Republicans on their presidential primary ballot). Virginia is more strict, requiring 10,000 signatures with names from all 13 congressional districts to qualify.

Ten thousand is not an impossible number. I've seen all volunteer efforts gather twice that number in two months. If you are lazy just $50,000 will hire paid troops to gather the signatures.

Conservatives are bouncing between morning the absence of Gingrich and Perry, bemoaning a choice restricted to a Mormon Communist and a neo-Nazi, and weaving conspiracy theories that Romney supporters rigged the system. Reading the comments on RedState are very entertaining.

Gingrich and Perry tried but failed to qualify. All the other Republicans that have been showing up at all those debated didn't even try. Gingrich is whining about how unfair it is while Perry is threatening to sue. It is beyond me how someone thinks they can run an entire country when they can't even negotiate that nation's election rules.

Why They Run: Republicans for President

2011-12-23T14:54:00.000-08:00

There are some back stories that explain the motivation of the Republican presidential candidates.

Mitt Is Still Proving Himself to Daddy

The most telling thing about Mitt Romney is that he has a campaign poster for his father, George, on his campaign bus. Mitt has been running for office for two decades and mostly a failure at it. His father forced the 45 year-old Mitt to run for Senate in 1994, going so far as to move in with his son to hector him. Mitt's inability to find a permanent policy platform shows he has no political motivation to run. His father long ago told Mitt that he wasn't worth shit unless he was President and poor Mitt is still trying to please Daddy.

Paul the Anarchist

Ron Paul has said that the Civil War was wrong because the government had no right to end slavery, although he would not have been against people buying slaves to free them. He has opposed the Civil Rights Act because he believes people should have the right to indulge their race hatred without interference. These opinions has made Paul a hero to neo-Nazis who don't want anarchy so much as an oppressive dictatorship.

Book Tour Campaigns
Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich independently came up with the same brilliant plan to con people into donating money to pay for their book tours by pretending to run for President. Neither expected nor wanted to be declared front runner but it has helped book sales.

Professional Nags
Bachmann and Santorum are just perpetual scolds who want a wider audience for their reproval.

Taxing the Rich

2011-12-22T11:21:00.000-08:00

Republicans contend that lowering taxes on the rich will create jobs. This chart (from Centers for American Progress) shows job growth (Y-axis) related to the tax rate. Using 60 years of actual data it show that lower taxes tend to depress employment while higher taxes tend to encourage jobs creations.

The reason for this is not simple. Lower top tax rates allows wealth to concentrate unhealthily, creating a feeble economy. Also, the Republican argument against welfare works for the wealthy as well. When oligarchs don't have to work for their riches they tend towards idleness. Higher taxes act as an incentive for the wealthy to work for a vibrant economy so they can pay their taxes and still be stinking rich.

The lie that lower taxes are good for the country dates back to the Laffer Curve. Arthur Laffer started with the notion that a 0% tax rate will raise no taxes and a 100% tax rate won't either since people won't work for nothing. He connected those two data points with the simplest possible Bell Curve, slapped his name on it, and watched Ronald Reagan build an entire religion upon it.

The Mayan Calendar

2011-12-21T09:43:00.000-08:00

It turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse. ~ Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The countdown clock begins today. In just 366 days (leap year, you know) the world is coming to an end.

The Mayans were calendar nuts. They had a solar calender (Haab) that consisted of 18 months that were twenty days long plus a five day festival of human sacrifice to make up the difference. They had a lunar calendar (Tzolkin) that had twenty months with 13 days each that matched the human gestation cycle.

Those two calendars were merged into a 52 year cycle that was used for divination. The end of each 52 year cycle was was a time of renewal when household utensils were destroyed and fires extinguished.

Then there is the famous Long Count Calendar. The basic Long Count Calendar Year is 5,125 years duration. Twenty of those achieve a 26,000 year epoch marked by the full precession of the winter solstice alignment with the galactic center. According to the Mayans there are five such epochs totally some 130,000 years.

The last Long Count Calendar Year began on August 11, 3114 BCE and is due to end on December 21, 2012. It marks the end of the fifth (and final) epoch when the sun at winter solstice will again align with the center of the Milky Way.

A Side Note: 26,000 years ago was the height of the last Ice Age. Humans had recently driven Neanderthals into extinction.

What exactly is supposed to happen next year depends on your imagination. Such Mayan writings that have been translated suggest climatic upheaval. Add the Mayans to the Christian belief that the world has just got to end any day now (Really, it's just gotta!) and Republican certainty that armageddon is better than four more years of Barack Obama. We have the perfect storm for the End of Days prediction business.

The Next Not Romney

2011-12-19T08:51:00.000-08:00

Newt Gingrich has worn out his four weeks atop the polls by saying truly insane things like he would arrest judges who disagree with him. Yet the thought of Mitt Romney still fills the mouths of Republican rank and file with partially digested vomit. It's time for a new Golden Boy.

Ta-da! It's Ron Paul's turn leading the polls.

It's fun watching the panic from the Tea Partiers as they lurch from one idiot to another searching for a substitute for ~~Nelson Rockefeller~~ Mitt Romney.

Worst Year Ever: Football Department

2011-12-18T10:13:00.000-08:00

You have to be really good to be really bad all year and not get benched.

George Blanda (1962) - 42 Interceptions

Aaron Rodgers has thrown six interception in 13 Green Bay wins. In the young AFL, one out of ever ten passes Blanda attempted was caught by the defense. But the Houston Oilers still managed to finish first with an 11-3 record. Blanda went on to lead the league in interceptions the next three years as well. He retired at the age of 48 and is in the NFL Hall of Fame.

Davey O'Brien (1940) - minus 1.8 yards/rush

Quarterbacks are not noted for their running ability (and, no, Tim Tebow is not a quarterback). Back in the day of leather helmets when concussions were unheard of because nobody was stupid enough to use their heads as a weapon, Davey O'Brien was an outstanding passer. He averaged an unheard of 120 yards passing per game. (Drew Brees throws 336 yards per game). Unfortunately, Davey loved to run the ball too. He led his team in carries in 1940 (100 rushes), losing 180 yards in the effort. I'm sure a lot of those would be recorded as sacks nowadays but still. His team had a 1-10 record and he retired at the end of the season to become an FBI agent. Paid better.

Dave Carr (2002) - 76 sacks

This is a record that belongs to an offensive line that included two rookies. Poor Dave Carr was a rookie himself in 2002. Every seventh time he dropped back to pass he was slammed to the turf. And so his suffering never ended, poor Dave Carr played every second of every game. He also fumbled 23 times because sometimes you just have to scream, "Here, chase the ball instead of me!"

2011-12-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should. ~ Jurassic Park

Maybe the scariest news I've come across in years is that a team of scientists have genetically altered the Avian Flu to make it a highly contagious plague virus.

The H5N1 virus is a bird flu that only extremely rarely makes the species jump to infect humans. When it does make the jump it kills half the people it infects.

The scientists asked the question, "how hard can it be to convert H5N1 into a human specific pathogen." In the process they also accidentally made it an airborne virus with the potential to kill hundreds of millions of people should it ever be released. Now they need to publish their work to get their Nobel Prize.

The scientists are reassuring. They insist they will keep their killer bug under lock and key. Of course once they publish their techniques any microbiologist with a petri dish and a few ferrets can copy their efforts. They insist that the H5 strain is incapable of producing a pandemic because it hasn't in the past. Of course since they have been playing with the genetics all bets are off. They insist they only did this to encourage research into vaccines for H5N1. Of course, having invented the disease they would be the ones to hire to cure it.

Kind of reminds me of the discredited(?) rumors about AIDS being a weaponized simian virus that escaped the labs.

Homefront Reinforcements

2011-12-16T09:32:00.000-08:00

It was vital to withdraw troops from Iraq by mid-December. With the bowl season upon us and its demands for honor guards and fighter jet flyovers the need for homefront reinforcements was never greater.

The Russian Army already has a cheerleader brigade.

Operation Wetback V2.0

2011-12-14T13:28:00.000-08:00

In the 1950's began a program of going door-to-door in border states arresting everyone suspected of being an illegal alien. Hundreds of thousands of Hispanics workers were rounded up and deported to Mexico during Operation Wetback. There was extensive physical abuse as Hispanics were crowded into concentration camps prior to deportation. One example was the deportation ship Mercurio where 500 detainees were jammed onto a boat built to hold 80. Thousands of America-born citizens of Hispanic decent were caught up in the dragnet and deported as well.

That was then, today we haves Operation Secure Communities. This program works with local police to round up Hispanics so they can be fingerprinted and processed for deportation. Hundreds of thousands of people have been swept up including thousands of American citizens. While, officially, the program is supposed to identify alien felons, the only crime a large percentage have committed is DWL (Driving While Latino).

Return of Debtors Prisons

2011-12-13T09:50:00.000-08:00

Those who made the laws have apparently supposed, that everydeficiency of payment is the crime of the debtor. But the truthis, that the creditor always shares the act, and often more thanshares the guilt. ~ Samuel Johnson (1758)

The 21st century Gilded Age has seen the return of many long forgotten ills. Governance is again becoming the exclusive domain of the wealthy. The laws against child labor are under attack. And debtors prisons are returning.

Considered a relic of the Victorian Age and Dickensian novels, it has long been illegal to imprison someone because of an inability to pay his debts. Not any more. The tricks are endless:

Demand a debtor appear in a distant city for a needless deposition and then imprison the debtor for failure to appear (an Order of Capias).
Obtain a court order for payment of a small debt and then demanding imprisonment until the debt is paid.
Bill prisoners for room and board and then imprison the poor indefinitely for failure to pay.
More than 5,000 arrest warrants for debt were issued in 2010 in just nine counties in the United States.

At least in the old days there were separate debtors prisons where poor unfortunates were held together and could care for each other; families were even allowed to stay together. In these modern times, people whose only crime is debt are tossed into the general prison population with hardened thugs and rapists.

Tebowmania and Other Jokes

2011-12-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

Finders Keepers

Iran is keeping the CIA drone that dropped in on them a few days ago, which undoubtedly breaches some schoolyard international espionage rule. Iran says it stole the drone while the US claims the toy crashed. But if you look at the pristine condition of the drone it is clear it had the softest of soft landings. The CIA drone program is known to be riddled with computer viruses. It is probable Iran succeeded in hacking the drone's Windows 95 software.

Tebowmania

There are only two possible explanations for the series of bizarre comebacks that the Denver Broncos have had the last two months. One is that there really is a God who has decided to show his power through a series of pigskin miracles. Much more likely is that the NFL is rigging the games to create a compelling storyline for the season. Don't get me started on the Tebowing phenomena except to note it is certainly Satanic. (God couldn't save those starving children because he was watching a football game.)

Republicans Cut Welfare for Millionaires
Not all welfare, mind you. Millionaires will still get their tax breaks, subsidies, and outright gifts. Cutting corporate welfare is going too far. But Sen. Mitch McConnell is pledging to eliminate foodstamps for millionaires.

The Failing Euro Romance

2011-12-10T08:29:00.001-08:00

With me it's all er nuthin'.
Is it all er nuthin' with you?
It cain't be "in between"
It cain't be "now and then"
No half and half romance will do! ~ Oklahoma!

The problem with Europe is mostly corrupt bankers. European bankers realized that they could profit in the same manner their Yank counterparts did a few years ago. So they are now successfully threatening to destroy whole countries unless they are given free money.

Beyond that is the inherent instability of the Eurozone structure where the currency was united while the political systems remained totally separate. Each individual country sought to exploit the system to their individual benefit.

Greece needed cash. In the old days they would devalue their currency but locked into the Euro they needed more creative ways (conveniently provided by Goldman Sachs conmen). German bankers needed no risk/high yield investments. Pre-Euro they would have had to finance some North Sea wildcatters. In the Eurozone they could buy high priced Greek junk bonds backed by the full faith and credit of the German Central Bank.

When each country had its own currency, stability was achieved by each drachma and lira finding its own level. Now, stability requires united action where union does not exist.

The half and half Euro romance was doomed in the same way that Ado Annie was destined to leave Will for the next sweet talking man to wander by.

I'm just a girl who cain't say no,
I'm in a terrible fix
I always say "come on, let's go!"
Jist when I orta say nix.

It's scary how the global financial crisis is most crisply described with the lyrics from a 1943 Broadway musical.

Greece (l) and Goldman Sachs banker (r)

The Last Time a Congressional Committee Subpoenaed Former Senator

2011-12-09T08:18:00.000-08:00

The Jon Corzine fraud scheme ("I simply do not know where the money is") that made $1.2 billion disappear without a trace has led to the observation that the last time a former senator has been subpoenaed to testify before Congress was over 100 years ago.

What happened to the money is easy. It was stolen by MF Global bankers to place bets on the futures market trying to win back the money lost in previous bets. Only the gamblers lost that money too.

The more interest question is what happened that last time.

1908 Electric Boat Scandal
Two former senators, Marion and Matthew Butler (not related), were hauled before a Congressional committee to explain their actions. There were being accused of unscrupulous practice of wining and dining senators to win Navy contracts to build submarines. In other words, what was a scandal in 1908 (former congressmen lobbying their colleagues to gain an unfair advantage, influence peddling) is now such a common practice that many people run for Senate just to get the high paying lobbyist jobs later.

They were an odd couple. Marion was a progressive who wanted the Federal government to nationalize the railroads. He lost his Senate seat when the white supremacy movement swept out North Carolina reformers in 1900.

Matthew made his bones during the 1876 race riot known as the Hamburg Massacre where a black militia protecting the mostly black town of Hamburg, South Carolina was attacked by large mob of well armed whites (they even had cannon). One militiaman was killed during the fighting, others were captured and executed. The subsequent rape, pillage, and arson wiped the town of Hamburg off the face of the earth. Matthew went to the US Senate the next year on, basically, the KKK ticket.

The image on the monument reads "Niggers Reformed at Hamburg, SC"

Paper? You Can't Get No Stinking Papers

2011-12-08T08:23:00.001-08:00

The People's Republic of Wisconsin requires citizens to show a photo ID to vote.

Wisconsin voting line, perhaps.

To get a photo ID you need to provide a birth certificate.
To get a birth certificate (according to the form) you need to provide a photo ID.

According to Wisconsin Commissar of State Security the instructions on the form need not be followed except, of course, when they must be followed. The goal is not to prevent people from voting but to prevent the "wrong people" from voting.

The definition of "wrong people" is simple - students, the elderly, liberals, and anyone who doesn't love Comrade Governor Scott Walker.

Solid Gold Medicine

2011-12-07T09:42:00.001-08:00

O would some power the gift to give us to see ourselves as others see us. ~ Robbie Burns

The Guardian has a fascinating article about a Brit's adventure in the US medical system. Basically, the Republicans are right that American medicine is the best in the world. The problem is that it is also the most venal system on the face of the earth.

For 99% of people and cases American solid gold medicine is no better than your standard chrome-plated doctoring available in the rest of the industrial world. Except in the United States everything is a la carte and nothing is affordable. As a result, for most insured Americans health insurance is the biggest single expense in their lives. More expensive than owning a car, more expensive than owning a home. And for tens of millions of Americans, any kind of health care is financially impossible.

There are a few rare cases when the American system will save a life where British and French doctors would fail. There are far more examples where Americans are priced out of simple, chrome-plated procedures leading to extensive years of suffering and early deaths. And for tens of millions of Americans effective health care is financially impossible.

People die in America because people die in America. ~ Rick Santorum on the American health care system

Then, there are the insurance companies that do everything possible to deny medical procedures to people who have paid dearly for their insurance.

A Personal Story
A couple years ago my father had a severe case of food poisoning. You know the drill - projectile vomiting and projectile diarrhea. I took him to the emergency room. In most other countries my father would have gotten IV fluids, stool and blood tests would have been done to eliminate other possible causes and he would have gone home after a few hours.

In that American hospital he got all of that and more. They performed x-rays, sonograms, and more. They looked and looked until they found "an anomaly." They had no idea what the anomaly was but decided he had to be hospitalized for more tests. And they did more tests. And still more. He recovered from the food poisoning in a day but they kept him in the hospital for nearly a week because they wanted him conveniently close for all that testing. They even considered exploratory surgery as they tried to solve the mystery of the anomaly.

Finally, they released him (in part because we rebelled at the idea of cutting him open "on spec") with a working theory that the anomaly was probably scar tissue from a three decades old operation.

It took him longer to recover from the enforced confinement in a hospital than it did for the original food poisoning.

Hot Teachers

2011-12-06T09:56:00.001-08:00

Where did Rick Santorum go to school?

Santorum then said that if same sex marriage was legalized then “their sexual activity” would be seen as “equal” to heterosexual relationships and it would be taught in schools. ~ Source

The only place where "sexual activity" is routinely taught in schools is badly made porn.

Newt's Turn

2011-12-04T08:04:00.001-08:00

Republicans don't want Mitt Romney. The reason there has been a succession of clowns and misfits leading the Republican field is that the rank and file is insanely desperate for anyone other than Mitt.

Really, in what sane universe would anyone think Michele Bachmann or Donald Trump was presidential material?

Romney's juggernaut includes an opposition research team of legendary proportions. Cain's bimbo parade and Perry's "Niggerhead" were not accidents or the work of diligent journalists. Romney has probably hired half the PIs on the planet to dig into anyone who has even an unreasonable chance to steal the nomination from Romney.

When potential rational candidates like Mitch Daniels and Chris Christie drop out without even trying I have to wonder what backdoor threats were issued.

Now it is Newt's turn. The flood of mud to pour on Newt over the next month will be epic (not that he doesn't deserve it). And, like all the previous Mitt-led smear campaigns this year, it will be eminently entertaining.

There can be only one and, in the end, Mitt Romney will be the most thoroughly despised Republican candidate for president since Richard Nixon.

San Diego's Inferiority Complex

2011-12-03T08:18:00.001-08:00

Ever since I was a child, San Diego has suffered with the thought it was Los Angeles' snot-nosed kid sister (Baja LA, if you will). Even as the region grew from a sleepy little navy town to a major metropolis it has always felt dwarfed by the great city to the north. (I'm sure Trenton feels the same way about Philadelphia.)

Sure, the San Diego Zoo is world famous and even Angelenos don't know where the LA Zoo is. And Sea World swallowed LA's Marineland of the Pacific back in the 1980's like a stray anchovy.

But, LA's college football teams are better than the San Diego Chargers. Malibu has better beaches than La Jolla. LA has a galaxy of stars in Hollywood while San Diego's biggest celebrity is a giant fish.


Technically, Shamu is a mammal.

The Getty Museum alone has more fine art than every museum and art gallery in San Diego. LA has world class graffiti that actually sells for thousands of dollars while San Diego is still in the pre-neanderthal spray painting lame initials on walls stage.

All of that is to explain San Diego's recent passion for public art. The stated goal is something on par with the Eiffel Tower or the Sydney Opera House. They want a photo op that people will travel around the world to gawk at. And, they want some big piece of shit that just screams "We're better than you, suck on this LA!"

One try was "The Kiss" (actual title "Ultimate Surrender" sounds like a lesbian nude wrestling league). A photo realistic rendition of a famous Life Magazine picture at the end of World War II (taken in New York) that stands a grotesque 25 feet tall. It is impossible in a photograph to show the disgusting kitschiness of this work. It was only supposed to be on loan to San Diego until 2010 but it is still there because no one else in the freaking world will take it.

Most visitors try to peek up her skirt.

A failed attempt at iconic art was to bridge the main road to the downtown convention center. Called "Pleasure Point," the sculpture was to use junk boats in a jumble that looked more like "Marina After Hurricane" than anything pleasant. The public attitude (generally WTF!!!) killed the project but a smaller version hovers over the entrance to to San Diego Museum of Contemporary Art.

It takes guts just to walk under this.

The latest plan to make the world forget the Pyramids is a couple of sail-like structures. At 500 feet, "Wings of Freedom" would be the tallest buildings in earthquake prone San Diego. Unlike the Sydney Opera House (where they preform operas) or the Eiffel Tower that offers a unique view of Paris, This sculpture would do nothing more than sit there collection sea gull poop.

The original plan was for an amphitheater but that was deemed too expensive. So the current idea is a useless lump of metal that will cost half as much as something useful.

People's Republic of Wisconsin

2011-12-02T13:57:00.001-08:00

Gov. Scott Walker, facing recall, is determined to quell protests in his state. Hence his new decree:

Groups of four or more people must obtain permits for all activity and displays in state buildings and apply for those permits at least 72 hours in advance. (source)

So now, your average family of four requires a permit before touring the state capitol. If you and a buddy bump into a couple friends in the Rotunda you now face having your friendly chat broken up by Capitol Police for lacking the proper permits.

"Four or more" is the standard phrase used to ban public meetings in a dictatorship.

Mark Twain Explains the News

2011-12-01T12:48:00.001-08:00

Newt Surges
Gingrich has this big, fat polling lead in Florida. Since March, the Florida polls have had the following people in front: Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, and Herm Cain. Florida polls are less accurate than reading tea leaves.

Mark Twain Explains Republican polling trends.
H'aint we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town? ~ Huckleberry Finn

Bachmann on Science
Michele B. says that not teaching creationism in schools is censorship (because, of course, everybody hates censorship). So is not teaching alchemy and not teaching astrology. Students should be taught the theory of a flat earth and round earth equally and allowed to decided for themselves.

Mark Twain Explains

Newt's Grey Legions
TPM has a stupid article about how Gingrich' strongest support comes from the elderly. Ah, duh. So did McCain's. So has every Republican since Teddy Roosevelt.

Mark Twain Explains
All Republicans are insane, but only the Democrats and the Mugwumps can perceive it.

Chick-fil-A: Eat More Crow

2011-11-30T11:19:00.001-08:00

Chick-fil-A is mostly noted for their cutesy "Eat Mor Chikin" slogan, complete with the misspellings. Some know it as a kind of cult.

Chick-fil-A's Corporate Purpose is 'To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us' ~ COO Dan Cathy

Bo-Muller Moore is an Vermont artist who loves his kale. He loves it so much he sells a line of t-shirts reading Eat More Kale. You'd think it wouldn't be a big deal since no one is dumb enough to mistake a kale clothing reference for a chicken sandwich.

But Chick-fil-A have brought the full force of the corporate attorneys and, no doubt, an angry, wrathful God down upon poor Mr. Moore. It seems the company is claiming ownership of every use of the words "eat more" (spelled correctly).

Eat More is the name of a Hershey candy bar.
Eat More Brook Trout is on a t-shirt sold by an Idaho fisherman.
Eat More Cheese is a Green Bay Packers fan site.
You can find the phrase "eat more" connected to just about every healthy, and a lot of unhealthy, food.
There is even a line of Eat More Shit shirts for Chick-fil-A to go after.

If I haven't angered the Chick-fil-A priests/lawyers yet, how about this image.

Note: the Happy Chicken suicide Cult is an unconnected blog that had the perfect graphic. My deepest apologies if Chick-fil-A comes after you now.

Paulson's Helped Hedge Funds Cheat

2011-11-29T07:51:00.001-08:00

If non-government folk did this it would be a crime. Not that government folk would ever prosecute Wall Street denizens because we all know that are pure and without sin.

Back in 2008, Bush's Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson was telling the public that Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae stock was solid. That same day behind closed doors, he was (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) telling hedge fund managers and his old Goldman Sachs buddies that just maybe the Feds were going to wipe out the stock equity of the two mortgage companies.

The crime is insider trading and no effort has been made to find out who profited from Paulson's secret disclosure. Paulson's actions constitute conspiracy, allegedly.

Hat tip to Atrios for discovering this.

Gov. Brownback Sucks

2011-11-28T08:07:00.001-08:00

Lots of politicians have thin skins, which is weird given their chosen profession ought to make them insensitive to criticism.

Sam Brownback is one of those hyper religious politicians who believes God ordained him to impose strict morality on others while ignoring the Ten Commandments himself. As a senator, Brownback took money from pornographers and crooks and lived in a congressional dorm where he slept with eight men. Called "C Street House," it was known for group prayer and sex scandals. Brownback ran for governor of Kansas last year.

As governor, Brownback has had two major concerns. Imposing government ownership over every uterus in the state and monitoring social media for any sign of disrespect.

On the latter point, when some teenaged girl Tweeted that he sucks to her friends the power of the State of Kansas jumped into action. The Governor's office investigated the girl, discovered where she went to school, and made a phone call to that school's principal that was sufficiently threatening that Principal Karl Krawitz jerked the girl out of class and gave her an hour long browbeating where he demanded she apologize.

The letter was due today but the girl has decided to refuse to apologize. The girl believes that she has a right to her opinion and she has a right to express that opinion.

Brownback does, in fact, suck. This is an objective fact. He is also extremely stupid. By making a big deal out of this, Brownback has spread the story of his suckiness around the world.

As always, Comedy Central has the best insight on this.

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback is, by all accounts, safe and relatively unharmed following a harrowing Twitter attack from an 18-year-old high school student last week. ~ Comedy Central's Indecision

The War Against the Poor

2011-11-27T06:30:00.001-08:00

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. ~ Anatole France

source

Not to be confused with the War on Poverty, which is so last century. The war against the poor is the organized effort of the elite to drive the nation's poorest citizens into hiding.

There is no thought given to eliminate poverty because, to the 1%, an expanding class in abject poverty make for a bottomless pit of minimum wage workers. The war included disenfranchisement and insisting that the poor start paying taxes.

But the biggest effort in this war is the battle to ensure the poor cannot gather together for mutual support and safety. Whenever the poor peaceably assemble there is the chance they may talk or even revolt. So the police are tasked with the never ending job of breaking up homeless camps and driving the poor, like human cockroaches, into the shadows.

(This is not about reducing crime. Homeless camps tend to be mostly peaceful because: a) the residents look out for each other, and b) there ain't much of anything worth stealing.)

The War Against the Poor ~ Mother Jones

Black Friday

2011-11-25T06:40:00.001-08:00

Maybe because I'm a cranky socialist curmudgeon but here are a few things that bug the fucking hell out of me.

People who go shopping after midnight because the stores tell them to.
Stores that refuse to pay double-time for forcing their workers to work after midnight on Thanksgiving.
That people have died during Black Friday stampedes.
Bargain hunting riots that include murder.
Bargain hunting rioters that only use pepper spray.
The fact that many of these shopping riots happen at that blight on the human existence, Walmart.

Turkey Day Football

2011-11-24T07:54:00.001-08:00

Going all local and non-political with a look at the San Diego Chargers.

Best of the Best
Dan Fouts - Quarterback

The best player in team history. Full stop.

LaDainian Tomlinson - Running Back
One of the top six best running backs in NFL history.

Lance Alworth - Receiver
Bambi. Graceful leaper with sure hands. If not for football he would have kicked ass in ballet.

Worst of the Best
These guys are not as good as their reps.

Philip Rivers - Quarterback
At the start of the season many people were calling him the best QB in team history. He still outstanding and tough as nails. There are, of course, the interceptions and all that losing.
Ryan Mathews - Running Back
Better than average yardage but fumbles a lot. Usually has more fumbles in a game than Tomlinson had in a season.

Best of the Worst
John Hadl - Quarterback

Hadl (r) with Sid Gilman (l) and Lance Alworth (c)

His stats suck. Completed barely half his pass attempts, threw interceptions at the same rate as Ryan Leaf, and had a QB rating in the 60s. But Hadl was a winner.
Hank Bauer - Running Back
Six years. Only 123 career carries for an anemic 3.1 yards per carry average. But he scored 20 touchdowns in his limited touches. And Hank was a suicide gunner on special teams.

Worst of the Worst

Gilbride and Leaf

Ryan Leaf - Quarterback
Drafted second to Peyton Manning and ahead of Fred Taylor and Randy Moss. A man-child who was more child than man. Is generally considered the worst quarterback in the history of the NFL.
Kevin Gilbride - Head Coach
The coach who made Ryan Leaf the man he was. Still considered an offensive genius because of four years in Houston in the 1990's when it was really Warren Moon who was responsible.

Special Teams Best
Speedy Duncan - Returner
Better by a hair than Darren Sproles, which is saying a lot.
Mike Scifres - Punter
Better by a foot (actually a yard) than Darren Bennett, the man he replaced.
Nate Kaeding - Place Kicker
Only better than John Carney because he's younger and his leg hasn't aged yet.

Special Teams Worst
Ray Wersching - Place Kicker
Back when Dan Fouts was young and learning his trade the Chargers had a kicker who missed everything outside of 40 yards and was so inaccurate they didn't even trust him to kick extra points.
Jeff West - Punter
Another guy who handicapped Fouts. Averaged only 38 yards a kick.

The Day Innocence Died

2011-11-21T09:54:00.001-08:00

November 22, 1963 was the day the last vestige of American innocence died. The United States was never the great beacon of liberty it saw in itself (see Slavery, the Philippines concentration camps), but at least we had our illusions. The entirety of the 20th century seemed dedicated to burning away America's goodness.

The Red Scare

There is no time to waste on hairsplitting over infringement of liberty. ~ Washington Post, 1920

The end of World War I saw the American government searching for a new enemy to fight. The chosen target was labor. Foreign Communist anarchist terrorists, the nation was told, were planning on bombing all we hold dear. Workers striking for fair wages were really waging war on the United States. Thousands of Americans were rounded up and imprisoned for attending labor union meetings with no regards for legal niceties like warrants or due process or just cause. Government whim was sufficient. The Red Scare had one lasting effect, it was when a 24 year-old Justice Department lawyer earned his chops; his name was...

J. Edgar Hoover

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

Hoover loved to play at being a cop. He never was one. Hoover was a lifelong bureaucrat who built a reputation by claiming other people's successes. But mostly, Hoover loved spying on Americans. He spied on Americans who might be Communist, he peeked in the bedroom windows of the famous and influential looking for dirty, sometimes for blackmail but often just because he was a voyeur.

Hoover didn't blackmail for money but to get more power. He sought power because he was convinced America was filled with enemies. Blacks, gays (even though J. Edgar was a closet fag), entertainers, teachers, and liberals were all possible communist spies who had to be rooted out and destroyed.

Before computers, Hoover invented the concept of compiling dossiers on regular American citizens. A system that continues to be expanded and enhanced to this day.

CIA

CIA shoelace code.

If the FBI was a sledgehammer, the CIA was a scalpel. While the FBI searched the US for enemies, the CIA used innocent Americans as lab rats. Even as late as, well now, the CIA has used science to refine and enhance their ability to torture people. There is no law, foreign or domestic, the CIA doesn't regularly break. Including becoming major players in the international drug trade.

McCarthyism

Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency? ~ Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy in televised hearing, 1954

Senator Joe McCarthy was a drunken lout and a failure as a Senator until he found a way to worm into America's hearts by teaching us to fear each other. The government was filled with traitors; there are Communists under every bed. That little old lady doing her laundry, is she a secret Communist? McCarthyism taught Americans there is nowhere safe from the international Communist conspiracy. It also taught us that anyone can have their lives ruined by a neighbor denouncing him as a spy.

Death of Innocence

All of the preceding century of fear and loathing was brought to a head when the dreams of Camelot were felled by the assassination of John Kennedy. JFK, in many ways, was the last hope of the United States. A dynamic young father with darling children and a glamorous wife, brought a fresh spring to a nation that had grown sour and cynical. That died, abruptly and brutally, on that sunny fall day in Texas.

Whether you believe in the miracle of the Lone Gunman or the more likely scenario of a CIA coup d'etat you have to agree that something more than one man died that day.

UC Davis Police Outrage

2011-11-20T08:55:00.001-08:00

So casual, so carefree. Strolling down a line of peaceful protesters showering them with pepper spray as calmly as if he were spraying weedkiller on a row of prize rose bushes.

It would be comforting to believe that was one rogue cop, only it's not. There was no other cop out there saying, "Carl, don't you think that's going too far." In fact, this is standard police practice.
This video is New York City in September. Again, peaceful protesters sprayed in the face by a uniformed officer as nonchalantly as if he were picking up a stray gum wrapper. Pepper spray is not as showy as beating someone over the head with a billy club but it is equally violent.

Another common police tactic used in Oakland and Portland recently is to use police violence to stimulate riot-like conditions that justify violent suppression. One could fill a volume with photos of police violence against peaceful Occupy protesters. Here are 32 shots from New York.

In many cities in the United States, the police department is just another brutal street gang victimizing a peaceful population.

Newt the Con Artist

2011-11-19T07:56:00.001-08:00

Gotta say I love Newt Gingrich's self defense skills. Following the reveal that Newt took $1.8 million from Freddie Mac before it went broke (Aside: Anyone who thinks the news came from Mitt Romney is absolutely right.) Newt came up with two brilliant responses.

At first, Newt said the report proves his insider Washington credentials which makes him the ultimate Washington outsider. That was a good effort that appeals to both Tea Partyiers and professional politicians.

Yesterday, Newt topped himself. To counter claims that Newt was responsible for the collapse of the mortgage market Newt is insisting he didn't do anything for the money. Newt says he only devoted an hour a month to Freddie Mac (meaning he was billing at $30,000 per hour) and that most of that time was spend just listening to his clients jabber. Freddie Mac could have gotten the same service by hiring a particularly attentive dog.

This will certainly strengthen Newt's polling surge. Republicans love a man who sticks it to fat cat bureaucrats. By boldly stealing money from Freddie Mac, Newt can position himself as the Robin Hood of modern politics. Except Newt doesn't take from the rich and give to the poor because that is socialism, Newt takes from evil government and buys expensive jewelry with it.

What Super Committee?

2011-11-18T12:52:00.001-08:00

I haven't wasted time thinking about the deficit reduction Super Committee because the Super Committee itself is a colossal waste of energy. Any agreement would mostly follow the Republican plan of Grecian style austerity coupled with a few more tax cuts for the wealthy. No agreement is far better than that.

No agreement would trigger automatic cuts. Except $600 billion in military expenditures are included in the trigger cuts and there is no way Congress will allow even a penny reduction in spending on totally useless weapons systems.

The littoral combat ship USS Independence cost over $700 million, serves no military function, and has corrosion problems. Congress intends to have 20 of these white elephants built no matter what.

If the cuts are triggered Congress will be quick about repealing them. The Super Committee is super worthless and I have already wasted more time on it than the twelve congressmen who sit on the committee.

Scalia and Judical Ethics

2011-11-16T07:56:00.001-08:00

As a prelude to hearing a case before the Supreme Court Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas attended a banquet sponsored by the lawyers for one side of that case.

The question before the court is whether cheap champagne and Lumpfish caviar on Ritz crackers is sufficient to buy a Supreme Court justice or is addition financial inducement required?

1936 Election Follies

2011-11-15T08:37:00.001-08:00

Lousy economies make for weird elections. There was 1992 with Bill Clinton's zipper problems and the strange case of H. Ross Perot ("giant sucking sound") with his on again, off again, third party campaign.

1936 - What Might Have Been

Huey Long (aka: The Kingfish) had all the honesty of Newt Gingrich, sanity of Michele Bachmann, and down-home country radicalism of Rick Perry. Long would have been a hero to Occupy Wall Street for his Share Our Wealth Society movement. He would have been a Tea Party hero for his fascist control of Louisiana and attacking President Roosevelt as a dirty socialist.

He was supported by the Rush Limbaugh of his time, Father Charles Coughlin. Long planned on running for President in 1936 on a third party ticket of his own creation. But first, Long had to consolidate his dictatorship in Louisiana where his opponents had begun to form armed paramilitary groups. As Long worked to oust an honest judge Long was assassinated by the son-in-law of that judge. That the assassin was also Jewish led Long's followers to conclude he had been the victim of an international conspiracy of Jewish bankers.

1936 - What Was
Deprived of Huey Long, opposition to President Roosevelt coalesced reluctantly around the sparkless Alf Landon. Landon, at one time or another, had opposed and supported most of President Roosevelt's policies (which makes him a good Mitt Romney analog). He believed in saying as little as possible as seldom as possible (which made his as electrifying a speaker as Romney).

Then, like now, the Republican platform included repealing Social Security. Republicans were convinced their platform of supporting Wall Street against the rabble was a winning strategy and that they would take the White House with a landslide. They even had Literary Digest polling data to back them up.

Didn't happen.

Newt on Top

2011-11-14T10:46:00.001-08:00

Giant Chinese Salamander or the Republican candidate for President

I don't think I have ever seen a sillier campaign season. Every few weeks somebody new shows up on top of the national polls for the Republican nomination. Meanwhile, always, simply always, Mitt Romney is stuck in second place with his 25%. This week it's Newt Gingrich.

It's not like Newt is a better man than Herm Cain. Cain just wanted to have multiple affairs, Newt succeeded. Newt isn't that much smarter than Rich Perry, he's just better at hiding the stupid (Here is a collection of dumb Newt quotes.).

Granted that Newt isn't wild-eyed Bachmann crazy but his does have something of the psychopath in him like when he suggested the Bush Administration should allow a few successful terrorist attacks to keep people on edge. Or there was the time when he said anyone opposed to congressmen taking bribes is a socialist.

The idea that a congressman would be tainted by accepting money from private industry or private sources is essentially a socialist argument. ~ Newt Gingrich

Somewhere out there is this great country of ours there is a new Not Mitt waiting to be discovered and run from President. I can't wait to find out who it is.

Gold-Plated Gitmo

2011-11-12T08:03:00.001-08:00

Money Hell-hole

The world's biggest torture chamber is also the world's most expensive. At a cost of $800,000 per prisoner per year, the Guantanamo Bay prison is not only illegal and immoral, it is also obscenely extravagant. Do the math: 171 prisoners, ten guards per prisoners, annual budget of $139 million. It would be cheaper to just buy the terrorists off.

Basketball Fly-by
Last night, around 5pm, the skies over San Diego were filled with low flying fighter planes. It sounded like I was living in Kabul. I figured something big was going on like maybe we were at war with Mexico. Then I realized the President was attending a hoops game on an aircraft carrier. Remember that scene from Return of the Jedi when the Emperor arrived on the Death Star and there were scores of tie fighters flying defensive cover? It was like that.

Romney's Turn
Maybe it's a game. All the Republican candidates are taking turns being stupid. For Romney's turn he proposed what amounts to selling the Veteran's Administration to Humana Health. And to rub salt in their wounds he suggested it on Veteran's Day.

"But Um..." Division

2011-11-10T07:53:00.001-08:00

Perry's Brain Freeze
The TV show "How I Met Your Mother" had a bit about a drinking game whenever Robin said "but um" on her early morning TV news show.

Trying that with Rick Perry could lead to alcohol poisoning.

Where's the Drama?

Sorry, but the Republican primary season is all over except for the rending of clothes and gnashing of teeth. Mitt Romney will be the candidate with Tim Pawlenty his Veep. In the grand tradition of Jerry Ford, Bob Dole, and John McCain, Republicans are going to pick the only man they universally loath and the one man in their party with a total and complete lack of charisma. [NOTE: The current Intrade odds are: Romney (2 to 5), Ginchrich (10 to 1) Paul (19 to 1), Perry (21 to 1), Cain (22 to 1), Huntsman (30 to 1) and Bachmann (90 to 1)]

Really Too Big to Fail

Who could have predicted it? Italy has been led for over a decade (on and off) by the most insane person to head a Roman government since Nero. Who could have expected the fourth biggest economy in Europe would now be on the brink of collapse as a result? Italy is too big to fail because in failing it will drag down the whole of the European Union. However, it is also too big to save. Italy is a real life Humpty-Dumpty.

Michele the Terrible

2011-11-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

I miss the days when Michele Bachmann was Number One with a bullet on the Republican Hit Parade. So does Mad Mikki. In an ABC interview Bachmann proposed:

Total war with Iran.
Putting James Garfield (or Calvin Coolidge) on Mount Rushmore.

Garfield's sole achievement in office was dying six months into his first term. Coolidge (like George Bush Jr.) used his term to set the stage for an historic economic collapse that plagued the nation for the next decade.

As for Iran, Bachmann is concerned about all those soldiers leaving Iraq and Afghanistan (idle hands are the devil's playground) and she is obsessed with delusions of Persians attacking us (who let her watch the movie 300?). She wants herself a big, fun war.

The Outlaw Divorce Movement

2011-11-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

My center is giving way, my right is in retreat; situation excellent. I shall attack. ~ Ferdinand Foch, WWI

The religious right is losing the fight on gay marriage so they have decided to expand the fight and outlaw divorce. What began as satire in California is being taken up seriously by Republicans. Christians for a Moral America and this Oklahoma Republican have opined that the best way to end the gay marriage plague is to make it impossible for heterosexual unions to break up.

Other than some subtle attack against Newt Gingrich and Kim Kardashian, I'm not sure what they hope to accomplish. It is true that some Catholics have declared divorce the equal of murder, meaning seven to life for attempted disunion is appropriate punishment. Certainly the prison industry needs a constant inflow of new criminals and with traditional crimes on the decline new crimes need to be invented.

Think of imprisoning divorcing parents "for the good of the children" as a jobs program.

Threat Level Republican

2011-11-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

This looks at how much the various Republican candidates scare the shit out of me regardless of their chances of victory.

Michele Bachmann

(Level 10 - Ivan the Terrible)
Behind her crazy eyes is a crazy mind. Ivan, remember, murdered his own son after beating the son's pregnant wife for immodesty. That is just the kind of thing you wouldn't be surprised if Michele did. Give Michele the keys to a nuclear arsenal and she would certainly find the need to use it to rid the world of evil irresistible. Nothing scares me more than the thought of Michele Bachmann possessing ultimate power because there is no chance of a rational thought staying her hand.

Rick Santorum
(Level 9 - Torquemada)

Rick views himself as the righteous sword of God's vengeance. He has no economic plans and no foreign policy initiatives. Like the great High Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition, Santorum's political philosophy begins and ends with his religious fervor. Santorum focuses his holy wrath on sodomites and there is no telling what atrocity God's voice in Rick's ear will tell him to do.

Mitt Romney

(Level 8 - Robespierre)
I know what Rick and Michele think. The problem is that nobody knows what Mitt thinks. At one time or another Romney had held every side of every opinion on every topic. Romney has no moral compass and no guiding principles. Such people are capable of anything.

Newt Gingrich
(Level 7 - Cesare Borgia)
Like Romney, Newt has no moral compass. He does, however, have guiding principles. The lack of both makes one terrifying unpredictable. Being principally amoral is, I suppose, better because at least the latter is occasionally predictable. While Newt is amoral he is at least not batshit about it.

Ron Paul

(Level 6 - Leon Trotsky)
Paul is a True Believer. There is not a practical bone is his body. He is not just wedded to his principles, he has had them surgically implanted in his skull. If Ron Paul were faced with the dilemma of compromising a small, insignificant part of his principles or insuring the complete and total destruction of everything he holds dear, he would eagerly embrace destruction.

Rick Perry & Herm Cain
(Level 5 - George Bush Jr.)

Rick Perry and Herm Cain, combine their intelligence and you get one imbecile. Whether Perry is a drunk or a cokehead is up for dispute, that he couldn't pass third grade in a California Montessori school is a certainty. Cain took a mid-level pizza chain and made it a smaller mid-level pizza chain. Cain didn't bankrupt his firm but at a time other chains were growing exponentially, Cain could only succeed in shrinking his business. How many presidential candidates proudly brag about being somebody's puppet like Cain has?

Jon Huntsman

(Level 1 - Pu Yi)
Huntsman isn't at Level 1 because he is (by Republican standards) liberal but because his is just so adorably insignificant. He reminds me of Pu Yi, the last emperor of China who gained the throne at the age of two.

News for the Easily Distracted

2011-11-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

Nutty Newt Surprise
With Herm Cain (thanks to an overly hormonal mid-life crisis) going bad faster than a vegetarian pizza left out in the sun, it appears the next Flavor of the Week is going to be the Newtster. Boy, Tim Pawlenty really dropped out too soon.

Slow Me a Rivers

The San Diego Chargers have a well earned reputation of lethargic under-achievers. QB Philip Rivers is so easily distracted his forgetting to grab the ball lost a game this week. Coach Norv Turner is now telling his quarterback to stop trying so hard.

The Graying of America
I remember when terrorists were young, foolish fanatics. It is quite disappointing to know we are reduced to watching a band of geriatric Wolverine (lame Red Dawn not hot X-Men) wannabes bungling their revolution. ("Don't blow up the bathroom yet, I have to pee again.")

Defending Rick Perry

I absolutely object to the charge that Rick Perry was drunk during that famous New Hampshire speech. If you watch the video it's clear Perry did three lines of cocaine before going on stage. Perry only gets drunk before grabbing his gun and taking his dog for a walk.

How Did Rick Perry Get Rich?

2011-11-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

Rick Perry is a multimillionaire. That is surprising financial success for someone not born to money who has spent his entire working life as a politician.

Wherever you find a crooked politician, you'll find a crooked businessman behind him. ~ Harry Truman

Perry claims he made his millions on shrewd land transactions done in his spare time while a Texas Agriculture Commissioner and governor.

That assumes that Perry is capable of a shrewd thought (unlikely, see Perry decidedly unshrewd tax plan). More likely, Perry cooked up several buy low/sell high land deals with rich businessmen wanting favors from him. I've seen it before.

One politician I know created a non-profit foundation to attract large corporate donations then hired his family at six-figure salaries to manage the foundation. Perfectly legal.
Another, a San Diego City Councilman from years ago, bought a new home in an upscale neighborhood for half what others were paying. He claimed he "negotiated a good deal," although ever after whenever that developer had a project before the City Council that politician was it biggest advocate. I worked on a campaign against this guy and we never used this story because it wouldn't be an effective attack. We also didn't use that fact he was married and separated because he had been caught banging his chief-of-staff in his private office after hours (couldn't prove it, no pictures).

The fact is that Rick Perry got rich by selling his services and successfully laundered the bribes as "land transactions." The other fact is this is so common most voters don't care.

The way my luck is running, if I were a politician I would be an honest man. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Herm Cain's Halloween From Hell

2011-10-31T10:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not so much interested in the cascade of bad stories that have fallen on Cain - the sexual harassment and illegal campaign funding stories. What I'm interested in is where they came from and why now.

The Source
The Romney campaign. Just like the Perry niggerhead story before it. The Romney campaign is loaded with money for opposition research, they have dossiers on each of his opponents that would choke an elephant. Romney has a stable of old school political consultants who believe in the power of the well timed leaked smear.

The order the stories broke is also old school. Start with the big hit, sex if possible. Then, just as they are starting to respond to the first attack hit them with a second smaller strike. It's called piling on.

Why Now?
Cain and Gingrich have a one-on-one debate scheduled for this coming Friday. If it comes off well (and it probably will look a lot better than the cattle call debates) it could mark a seismic shift in the campaign dynamics, a shift that in no way would be good for Romney. Breaking the news now gives it enough time to sink in without allowing time for the stories to be vetted. If the Friday debate doesn't mention sexual harassment (and it won't) then Romney friendly reporters will dismiss the debate as a non-event and that will become the zeitgeist of the week.

I won't call Romney's campaign brilliant for this move because it is just Smear Tactics 101. I can understand why Romney is so terrified of the Cain-Gingrich debate that he would waste both of his best weapons against Cain so soon. While Cain won't take the nomination if he beats Romney early Cain can kill off the Romney campaign.

Sports Sunday

2011-10-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

Jamming all my sports subjects together to get rid of them.

Sam Jones, 1960

NBA
I hear there is a labor dispute between 1 percenters (the players) and 0.1 percenters (the owners). Don't care, they can both lose and the world will be better for it. Professional basketball has been unwatchable since Michael Jordan retired (and was mostly unwatchable even then).

Baseball

Cy Young, 1901

Game Six of the World Series was fun. The first half was a comedy of errors (literally) that had to leave the Yankees and Phillies wondering how they could have lost to idiots like this.The second half was as exciting as baseball can get. It was proof that sports don't need clocks or high tech gadgetry.

Football (NFL)

Lance Alworth, 1963

The San Diego Chargers are an interesting exercise in sports psychology. As a team the Chargers are dedicated to expending the least amount of energy necessary to win. They always start slowly, lethargically. If they are losing at halftime they step it up a notch; second halves can be exciting. If they lead at halftime the Chargers start planning their afternoon naps early; at best the second half is a snoozefest. The Chargers have all the killer instinct of Ferdinand the Bull.

Football (College)
All one needs to know about college football is that the Big Ten Conference has 12 teams in it. College football can't even do simple math. College football is a big money sport using slave labor. The "student athletes" on BCS teams have professional work schedules, some of the smarter ones even make time to attend a few classes. Yet any compensation except free tuition is strictly forbidden.

Nebraska Cornhuskers, 1903

Wisdom Nuggets

2011-10-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

Police Riots
The excuse usually given by the police for attacking the Occupy protesters with tear gas and billy clubs is "sanitation." Like nobody in the city knows where to hire a few port-a-potties.

Constitutional Reminder
the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition theGovernment for a redress of grievances. ~ the First Amendment

Damn Good Gun Idea
Everybody who owns a car is required to buy liability insurance. It makes sense that owners of a weapon which, when used as directed, kills things ought to be required to purchase insurance. Let the free market decide on the risk. Also, I need a operator's license to drive a car, shouldn't I need one to carry a gun?

Constitutional Reminder
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of afree State, ~ the Second Amendment

What Is an Libertarian?
A libertarian is simply a rich anarchist.

The Loooooong Graph
The graph in the link is just too long to embed but it explains the effect of Herm Cain's 999 plan better than 10,000 words.

Constitutional Reminder
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, andeffects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated ~ the Fourth Amendment

The TSA and You
As far as I can tell (and believe me the logic is as twisted as a corkscrew in a tornado), federal courts have ruled that the Fourth Amendment applies at all times except whenever the government wishes to ignore it. Exceptions include any form of transportation (cars, planes, trains, and buses), schools, unusual conduct, usual conduct if police say the word "drugs" afterwards, or if an individual is black, brown, or suspected of being Muslim-like.

The Oakland Police Riot

2011-10-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

I really have nothing to add but the images of when the Oakland police rioted against the peaceful citizens of their city.

They attacked with chemical weapons,

rubber bullets

and truncheons.

They used mass assault tactics in the dead of night

with brutal efficiency.

Yes, I know this last one is of Cairo police attacking citizens in Tahrir Square last spring. I thought I'd add a little perspective.

Occupy Oakland.

Two Cases of Fear Over Principle

2011-10-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

NPR and Rick Perry have something in common. Both have acted out of abject fear.

NPR
National Public Radio severed ties with World of Opera because the host, Lisa Simeone, participated in an Occupy march. They didn't fire her directly because she didn't work for NPR and her employer, WDAV, to their credit refused to fire her on NPR orders. Simeone broke no laws. She did not violate the NPR Code of Ethics because it doesn't apply to her. She was acting in the great tradition of America - the free right to assemble and speak.

NPR is terrified of congressional Republicans. NPR got heat for firing conservation newscaster Juan Williams for his inane comments and didn't want to get more heat for not acting similarly with a liberal opera host. Simeone got thrown under the bus not for what she did or said but because NPR CEO Gary Knell is a sniveling little coward.

Rick Perry
Perry this week was asked about the Confederate battle flag and came out against it. Before running for President, Perry was a strong advocate for all things Dixie, so what changed?

There was that Niggerhead incident, which was a little to Old South for comfort. And, then, Perry's pro-secessionist positions from a couple years ago. So far during his presidential run that embarrassment has been forgotten. Sounding like a true son of the Confederacy would bring all that back.

So Rick Perry said what he doesn't believe. Not because he has changed his mind or has become a Unionist but because he was afraid of the consequences of honesty. Perry is an idiot, dishonest, and timorous. That's a Republican trifecta.

Mandatory Vaccination - HPV, Anthrax, etc

2011-10-26T12:53:00.000-07:00

I'm not one of those guy who opposes all forms of vaccinations. Some vaccinations are prudent. Global vaccinations eliminated the smallpox plague and that can only be an unqualified human success.

I was going to post a photo of a smallpox victim but they are just too gruesome so...puppies!

Polio, measles, and flu vaccinations are all examples where the slim risks of the vaccine far outweigh the greater risk of the infection. Each has recorded devastating epidemics.

In the 1940's entire hospital wards were dedicated to iron lungs for polio victims.

But just because many vaccines are important does not mean that all vaccines are.

Anthrax
As noted yesterday, US government scientists want to experiment with an anthrax vaccine on children. Since 2002, not a single American has died from anthrax however the FDA reports that at least 44 American servicemembers died from the anthrax vaccine. There is no evidence that anthrax vaccinations have prevented a single case of the disease. By the by, according to Johns Hopkins, the vaccinations cost $90 per dose.

HPV
There is a movement for the mandatory vaccination of all children, age 12 and up, for the Human Papilloma Virus. The virus itself is not dangerous, it causes warts. Some 80% of adults, at one time or another, have caught HPV. But as a venereal disease in women the warts, over the course of many years, can develop into cervical cancer. Over 4,000 women in the US die of cervical cancer annually.

On the one hand, saving 4,000 lives is a good thing. On the other hand, the vaccine cost $375 for the three shot series; that's billions of dollars a year. It only works on the four most common of the 200 strains of HPV. It is probable that, deprived of competition, other strains will replace the targeted strains. And it is not completely successful with the targeted strains which suggests the virus might, in time, adapt.

Mandatory vaccination is a boon for GlaxoSmithKline and Merck (manufacturers of the vaccines). As a voluntary vaccine Merck makes some $200 million a year from its HPV product. Made mandatory that should rise to well over $1 billion annually. GSK would see a similar increase.

One wonders how much the mandatory vaccination movement is driven by real health concerns and how much is a BigPharma PR campaign.

Anthrax and Children

2011-10-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

Granted that anthrax is a nasty disease and weaponized anthrax even nastier.

Almost as nasty as the band.

But in the last decade there has been a grand total of zero (0) terrorist attacks anywhere in the world using anthrax. The last use of anthrax as a weapon occurred in September, 2001. There are a lot of problems with ill equipped amateurs mixing up a batch of anthrax, the principle one being not accidentally killing yourself and all your buddies.

The first vaccine was a vial of shit that caused way more damage than any possible anthrax attack mostly because President Bush panicked and ordered it administered to the entire US military. There is a newer vaccine that seems to work on adults but the government wants to know if it also works on children.

Anthrax and Children
The process is simple: Collect a bunch of healthy children, give them the vaccine, wait to see if the vaccine kills any of them, then expose the survivors to anthrax and see if the disease kills any more.

In the old days the government could just target poor minority children in an orphanage, no questions asked. But now you have a whole lot of bleeding heart liberals complaining about using children like guinea pigs.

The other option is to wait around for a real terrorist anthrax attack and test it then. The problem there is that whole generations of scientists might pass away without ever getting a chance to experiment on children.

Volunteers Needed
If you are a patriot with enough children you don't mind losing one or two, then contact the National Biodefense Science Board today.

The Plight of the 99% and the Plague of Reaganism

2011-10-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

Every once and a while I come across a chart or graph that screams a guttural anguished cry that strikes my very soul. The above graphic comes from a Business Insider article.

It makes a simple point. Between 1997 and 2008 (basically the Bush Years) average income in the US grew by $2,683. All of that went to the richest 10% and two-thirds went to the richest 1%. The bottom 90% lost income.

If we start with 1981 (Reagan's inauguration) the average income has risen by $12,189; 96% of that went to the richest 10% and well over half went to the richest 1%.

Let's compare that to before the plague of modern Reaganism. From World War I to Reagan the average income of the United States rose $26,027. The richest 10% got less than one-third of the increased income while the richest 1% corralled less than 5%. The bottom 90% got the rest.

This is not some Leninist redistribution but simply a reasonable balance that allows for the development of a viable middle-class. It allows for people to have some dreams of upward mobility, that hard work actually means something.

Our modern America is a place where the American Dream has come to die. The richest and the richest of the rich are parasites who suck up whatever growth the economy can generate and bleed the middle-class for more.

We have one political party that is dedicated with its every fiber to facilitate this sucking and bleeding. The other party helps the sucking and bleeding too, but at least they occasionally feel bad about it.

Pentagon Buys from Crooks

2011-10-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

I have a simple rule of thumb, if someone tries to rip me off I never do business with them again. I'd rather starve than shop at Walmart; I'd rather use a crystal set than buy another modem from Best Buy.

My internet connection is a little slow.

The Pentagon isn't so picky. In the past decade the Defense Department has thrown over $1 trillion at companies that have a proven history of defrauding them. There are lots of reasons for this.

Some of the fraud profit works its way back to the DoD in the form of bribes for future contracts.
Some of the fraud profit go to buying congressmen who insure there are no laws to prevent corrupt businesses from contracting with the US government.
Some of the fraud profit goes to providing tchotchkes to procurement officers. It's amazing how far a few worthless trinkets go to buying the undying loyalty of DoD employees.
Some of the fraud profit go to hiring former DoD employees at fat salaries mostly to party with current DoD employees. (An "Ethics Opinion" is a meaningless gesture. The point of hiring former DoD procurement officers is not to gain some kind of special access or knowledge but to convince current DoD procurement officers that rich rewards await in the future for anyone who cooperates now.)
Some of the fraud profit goes to paying inadequate fines and penalties for getting caught.

Of course most of the fraud profit goes to top executives in the form of bonuses.

Communists Under the Bed

2011-10-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

They are so retro I expect to see Republicans wearing fedoras and poodle skirts soon. Everywhere conservatives talk about Occupy Wall Street or President Obama or teachers or liberals or, hell, anyone, they accuse them of being communists. I haven't heard this level of Red Scare since the 1950's.

With OSW and Obama Republicans merge all their boogiemen into a single mish-mash. Both, they claim, and communists and Nazis at the same time. That is like being a member of both the Black Panthers and KKK. It's absurd.

Teachers, Republicans argue, are communists indoctrinating children into being loyal Stalinists. Liberals? Communist. All Democrats? Communist! To Some Republicans even Mitt Romney is a communist (maybe a commie robot).

It's not like there are communists everywhere nowadays. Russia is less communist than Las Vegas. China may say it's communist but its economic policies are straight up capitalism at its most aggressive. North Korea has forsaken communism for old-fashioned 12th century feudalism.

The truth is the only thing keeping the notion of communism alive these days are Republicans who insist on labeling anyone they disagree with a pinko, commie, atheist, anarchist, hippie.

Wait a minute. Didn't hippies disappear 40 years ago?

It's the End of the World, Again

2011-10-20T17:13:00.000-07:00

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world ~ song lyrics

I almost forgot that tomorrow is the end of the world. After Harold Camping's "the Bible guarantees it" doomsday of May 21 passed without so much as a plague of locust,

We know the world didn't end 'cause (looks around), check it out. ~ Oz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Camping revised his biblical calculation and came up with October 21 as his drop dead date (literally). So be prepared.

Put on a clean pair of underwear and brush your teeth because cleanliness is next to godliness and God won't let you into heaven if you have bad breath. Set up with some left-behind heathen to care for your dog after you've got yourself Raptured.

But most of all remember to give all your money to Harold Camping's ministry because you're not going to be here and Camping has bills to pay.

Republican Pissing Contests

2011-10-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

More than anything else, the Republican debates remind me of pissing contests between people with extremely tiny wangs. There is a lot of macho posturing but all that is really accomplished is they are getting their own shoes wet.

The Great Wall of America

2011-10-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Every election cycle Republicans want to erect a taller, more formidable wall around America. Herm Cain has "joked" about a 20-foot wall with an alligator filled moat and topped with electrified barbed wire. He has additionally "joked" that he expects a death toll well under three million people. (Herm Cain has a strange sense of humor.)

Mitt Romney is, as usual, vaguer than Cain although he has urged a "high-tech" border fence around the entire 6,000 miles of the United States. Developed during the Bush Administration the SBInet program took five years to install 50 miles and has already been dismissed as an expensive failure.

Rick Perry got in trouble with Republicans when he mentioned out loud that trying to fence off the Rio Grande River is kinda stupid.

Rio Grande at Big Bend National Park

All the Great Walls of history were built out of fear. Hadrian built his wall because he feared the Scots. The Great Wall of China was built to keep out the Mongols. The Maginot Line was the embodiment of French fear of Les Boches. The West Bank Wall exists because Israelis are afraid of Palestinians. So too do Republicans fear Mexicans. In each case the goal is to keep "barbarians" from contaminating civilization.

A Border Fence History

In 1974, First Lady Pat Nixon dedicated the bi-national, trans-border Friendship Park near San Diego.

In 1994, the park was bisected by a massive border security fence.

But that didn't stop people from fraternizing across the border. So in 2009 the Border Patrol closed off all US access to Friendship Park. Access is strictly controlled and no cross-border touching is allowed. (Similar to visitation at a maximum security prison.)

A Catholic priest was arrested for passing communion wafers through the fence.

And the irony is that if you really want to illegally cross the border at Friendship Park all you have to do is grab a boogie board and paddle west beyond the surf line.

Additional Links
The Great Wall of America - Time, 2008
Friends of Friendship Park
Friendship Park Celebration - Visual Peacemakers

Handicapping the Republican Field

2011-10-17T14:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't looked at the horse race for a while. The odds are from Intrade.

Mitt Romney (1 to 2)
The only thing keeping Romney from having a lock on the race is the fact he is universally loathed by Republicans. Even with the race filled with buffoons and idiots Romney still can't pull above 25% of likely voters. Imagine how demoralizing it must be for Romney (assuming he is capable of feeling anything like human emotions) to realize that a majority of voters would prefer any random blue-nosed hyena to him.

Rick Perry (8 to 1)

A random blue-nosed hyena.

Perry is only polling in third place mostly because Republicans realized that calling Perry dumber than dirt was an insult to the intellect of top soil. Perry still has three advantages: 1) He's not Mitt; 2) He's got money; 3) He's Texan. The last is important because, while Southerners may agree he's dumb as a post it is at least a good old boy Southern post.

Herman Cain (11 to 1)

As CEO, Cain used the same high-tech resources to create the Godfather Pizza business plan as he did developing his tax plan.

Polling in first place but nobody, including Cain's family, thinks he has a snowballs chance in Hell. Cain himself is spending most of his time pitching a book and not campaigning. Cain has no campaign funds and being the front runner hasn't seen any inflow of cash.

Michele Bachmann (76 to 1)

No further comment.

Republicans have a history of nominating candidates they despise, Mitt will likely just be another in that long line. However, there is still time. All it takes to shoot into the lead in polls is the willingness to declare, the ability to hate unreservedly, and to appear semi-lucid for at least 30 consecutive seconds.

The Cain Border Fence

2011-10-16T11:54:00.000-07:00

Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage ~ Richard Lovelace
But with enough juice
you can kill a whole bunch of Spics. ~ Herm Cain (paraphrase)

Herm Cain is desperate to keep those imaginative ideas coming. Now that he has solved the nation's economy by cribbing off a video game he is taking on immigration with his trademark simplicity. He wants to string an electrified prison fence the length of the 2,000 mile US-Mexico border.

'America the Beautiful' will need new lyrics

What Cain hasn't thought of is that electric fences are easy to beat, just go under them. Mexican smugglers have been using cross border tunnels for years. Cain's electric fence will solve the biggest problem smugglers have building them by providing an unlimited, reliable power source for tools, lighting, air conditioning, and even elevators.

Cain's electric fence could power a new, 21st century underground transportation system.

Is Fort Knox Empty?

2011-10-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

I love a good conspiracy theory and this one has it all.

It has pedigree, the rumor has been circulating for over 50 years. Ron Paul, Fox News, neo-Nazis, and fiction writer Brad Meltzer all subscribe to the theory. Russia's spy agency, the FSB, claims the vault is empty and the International Monetary Fund knows it.

It has real world consequences far more serious than whether an alien spacecraft crash landed in Roswell. The US and global financial systems would collapse overnight if it became known that the US gold reserves were figments. Welcome to the Dark Ages.

What happened to it? Many say it was stolen by Nelson Rockefeller, the Jews, Bill Clinton, or space aliens. Others claim it was pissed away over the years to cover the federal debt and balance of trade.

Some claim the vault is empty, that only dust and spider webs remains. Others say the gold was replaced with fake bars made of either lead or tungsten and painted gold.

Where's the Proof?
Some say that the over-the-top security around Fort Knox is proof the vault is empty. That the goal isn't to secure gold but secure the secret. Another proof, they claim, is that the book value of the gold hasn't changed over the years. The first is a classic logical fallacy. The latter ignores the standard accounting practice of listing book value as the original value on acquisition and not adjusting it for the whims of the market. Value is only established when something is bought or sold.

Actually the best argument the theorists have is that nobody has been inside the vault in 37 years. Fort Knox would make one hell of a tourist attraction. People would pay a lot for an admission ticket to view the gold stockpile. It would go a long way to balancing the budget.

What's the Truth?
The government (yeah, like they wouldn't lie) says that Fort Knox holds less than half the federal gold reserves. Some 147 million troy ounces of gold rests in Fort Knox while over 220 million troy ounces is stored in the basement of the New York Federal Reserve Bank.

The Fort Knox repository is holding far less gold than it did at its peak (650 million troy ounces during WWII). But some of that extra gold was being held in safe keeping for US allies (like the UK). The rest is either in New York or was used in not at all secret transactions.

What's the Reality?
Who knows? But as I always say, never let the truth in the way of a good story.

Between Stupid and Vile

2011-10-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

The distance between stupid and vile can be remarkable tiny.

Topeka, KS - Vile with a touch of stupid

The Topeka City Council wanted to cut unnecessary programs so they voted (7 to 3) to legalize domestic violence within city limits. However, it is still illegal to throw snowballs (Topeka criminal code section 54-123). In Topeka it is just fine to beat your wife with a belt but if you toss a slush ball at her you're in big trouble.

Canadian Border Fence - Stupid with a hint of vile

The US-Canadian border is 5,500 miles long. There are thousands of miles of wilderness, glaciers, and a tiny bit of water known as the Great Lakes. The US government wants to fence much of that border. Where it gets weird is in Vermont. Many small towns sit right on top of the Vermont/Quebec border. The border runs down the center of some streets and even through the middle of some homes. And the Border Patrol is getting badass about enforcing the border. Residents have been arrested for crossing the street, they feel the need to carry a passport every time they leave the house yet they are still harassed.

Glenn Beck - Equal parts vile and stupid

Okay, I know that Glenn Beck is pretty much terrified of everything so it is no surprise he is afraid of the American people. Of course Beck is horror-struck by the Occupy Wall Street movement. How dare people gather together to petition their government for the redress of grievances without prior approval of Fox News. But Beck doesn't just piss his panties in fear, he squeals in panic like a stuck piglet. He has convinced himself we want to execute every man, woman and child in the country. Not true, we have no desire to end Beck's suffering quickly.

The Lord Is My Shepard

2011-10-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to get away from religion this week. Maybe it's because the news isn't making sense to me. Or, perhaps it's because Michele Bachmann, with hundreds of legitimate reasons to oppose Herm Cain's inane 9-9-9 Plan, could only think that it reminded her of the number of the Beast.

Anyhow, let's think about the whole God As Shepard metaphor. It makes us the sheep destined to follow meekly, sheepishly, to get sheared on a regular basis, and when it suits His fancy be led to the slaughter. Or as George Orwell put it:

Thou art the giver of
All that thy creatures love,
Full belly twice a day, clean straw to roll upon;
Every beast big and small
Sleeps at peace in his stall,
Thou watchest over all,
Comrade Napoleon. ~ Animal Farm

God's Wife

2011-10-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

I happened on biblical scholar Dr. Francesca Stavrakopoulou on the BBC today as she was discussing the notion that God had a wife who has been scrubbed from the Bible.

In ancient Hebrew God was the original "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." You could call him "Lord" or by his initials (YHWH). Of his various pseudonyms one, curiously, is plural.

Elohim, meaning multiple "gods," is one of the earliest titles given the Hebrew God. Psalm 82 shows Him as the chairman of the board on a committee of gods. Later monotheistic preachers have had to twist the bible into knots explaining how the word "gods" does not, in fact, refer to gods.

Hidden away in the dark recesses of the Old Testament is the name Asherah. A fertility goddess, she shows up occasionally as an object of worship in the Hebrew temple.

One school of thought is that in early Old Testament times there was a struggle between Elohim priests who worshiped a god family and Yahweh priests who insisted on a single, masculine patriarch god. The Genesis creation story, for example, is told twice. Once from an all powerful single god perspective and again from a collective polytheistic, "in our image" perspective.

Eventually, the monotheists won. God got a divorce and has been an bachelor deity ever since.

Ironically, when gentiles got a hold of the religion they restored polytheism with an urban jungle of angels and devils, saints and demons. While God had sex with a farm girl and made the Virgin Mary a goddess he didn't do the right thing by her and so Christians are forced to venerate her as an unwed mother.

Republicans and Children

2011-10-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

It has been observed that Republicans believe in the sanctity of life from conception to birth. From the attacks on public schools to efforts to block children's access to health services and nutrition to allowing pollution of children's air and water in pursuit of profits to urging the return of child labor, Republicans are at war with the youngest in our nation.

Happy shall he be, that takes and dashes your little ones against the stones. ~ Psalm 137:9

Harming children is an Old Testament, fundamentalist thing. They believe it is just and holy to injure the children of their enemies and since Republicans consider liberals, Hispanics, and the adopted children of gay parents their enemies in a culture war they have no qualms about seeking to do them harm.

Alabama (like Arizona last year) is targeting the children of immigrants. Then there was this attack on a lesbian couple and their small children where the courts appear to be siding with the attackers.

A couple more biblical verses. The first is God's instructions for dealing with enemies, specifically Midianites (Arabs).

Kill all the boys and all the women who have had intercourse with a man. Only the young girls who are virgins may live; you may keep them for yourselves. ~ Numbers 31:17-18

According to the Bible, 32,000 young women were forced into sexual slavery on orders from God. There is no mention of how many boys were murdered but thirty thousand is a sound estimate.

Then there are God's threats against people who do not worship him.

If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over. You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters. ~ Leviticus 26:27-29

Nothing encourages fidelity like forced cannibalism.

Con Games and Scams

2011-10-07T12:20:00.000-07:00

Just a Two-bit Grifter

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Before dropping out of the presidential race Attention Whore Sarah Palin did one last scam. She appealed to her benighted followers through her money machine, SarahPAC, to giver her cash and convince her that they love her so so much. She took the money and dropped out. I wish I had a sucker list to tap for free money that is as gullible as hers. Caribou Barbie may be the most successful con artist in history because she never even been arrested.

My Rowdy Friends

Zygi Wilf has a net worth of $1.3 billion; he owns the Minnesota Vikings football team. Alex Spanos has a net worth of $1.1 billion; he owns the San Diego Chargers. Both men want brand new pleasure palaces for their teams and both want taxpayers to carry a heavy part of the bill.

The Chargers are looking for an $800 million dollar monument with a retractable roof (because, heaven know, the weather in San Diego is so iffy). They expect local government to carry the bulk of the expense, some $500 million.

The Vikings plan on spending up to $1.2 billion for a place to play their eight home games per year. They want taxpayers to carry $600 million, or more, in the cost of the building.

The arguments are always the same:

Appeal to Penury. They need a new stadium "to stay financially competitive." (It ought to be funny watching billionaires plead poverty. It's not.)
Appeal to Passion. The community has to show its love for the team or we'll leave. (The traditional gold-digger's song; see Sarah Palin above.)
Appeal to Fairness. The Dallas Cowboys got a new publicly financed stadium, I deserve one too. (Two wrongs don't make a right.)

Free Money

The Federal Reserve Bank is run by bankers for bankers. One of their many, many (many, many) tricks is loaning money to big Wall Street banks for virtually nothing which the banks turn around and loan to the Federal Government for a fat profit. If the Federal Reserve loaned these trillions of dollars directly to the government it would take a serious bite out of the federal deficit.

But, the Federal Reserve Board is in on this scam to feed free money to their buds.

That Old Time Religion

2011-10-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

Pastor Jerry Pittman Sr. saw he gay son pull into the parking lot of his Grace Fellowship Church in Fruitland, TN. Pastor Jerry told his congregation to "sick'em." Church deacons led by Pastor Jerry's brother went out to the parking lot and beat the shit out of Jerry Pittman Jr. and his boyfriend.

In West Hollywood, the United Methodists closed a church because there were too many homosexuals attending.

Marrying Ku Klux Klan and Inquisition traditions, a mob of Georgia Christians set fire to the home of a disabled gay man. They did it on a Sunday morning before going to church.

In North Carolina, a religious leader shot his four year-old step son to death because he thought the child was gay. He also killed a 28 year-old woman but that appears to have been strictly recreational.

Here in California a fundamentalist couple beat an adopted child to death, and another into a coma. The adopted children are black, from Africa. The parents natural, white, children are treated much less violently.

What Do We Want?

2011-10-05T12:31:00.000-07:00

The One Percenters are complaining that they don't know what the Occupy Wall Street people want. The short answer is a complete change is the depraved, oligarchical system that American democracy and capitalism has been corrupted into. But if you want some specifics, here are a few:

All senior executive compensation packages must be made public and approved in an open vote by the share holders. Without such a vote, no individual may receive compensation in excess of ten times the median average compensation of all corporate employees nor receive any benefits not equally available to all corporate employees.
The CEO is responsible for maintaining a corporate climate free of criminal activity. The CEO is deemed complicit in corporate criminal activity such as fraud, forgery, or involuntary manslaughter unless he can prove that he took all reasonable steps to prevent such crimes.
Any corporation requiring a government bailout will be deemed entering into bankruptcy; all stock equity is eliminated. New stock will be issued for the purpose of paying back the government with interest.
No corporation receiving one or more government contracts may spend any money whatsoever to lobby that government. Any corporation which signs a contract with the government must pay ten times the total amount spent on lobbying during the previous decade into the US Treasury before that contract will be deemed valid. This rule applies to all subsidiaries, sister subsidiaries, and spun off businesses. Any effort to circumvent this rule is felony fraud.
All political contributions are to be taxed by the following formula:

Under $10,000 - no tax
Between $10,000 and $100,000 - 10%
Between $100,000 and $1 million - 25%
Over $1 million - 50%
Over $10 million - 90%

All contributions to all candidates, PACs, political parties, or independent expenditures in a calendar year are totaled to calculate this tax.
Citizens volunteering to political campaigns will not be taxed for their volunteer efforts.
Any corporation making political contributions must receive prior approval of the share holders for both the dollar amount and recipients.
No corporation making over $100,000 in political contributions in any single year may receive any government contracts for the following decade.
No Supreme Court justice or member of Congress may receive speaker fees, teaching fees, or any other compensation for appearing nor may tickets be sold or the people in any way charged for attending such an event.
A one percent annual Wealth Tax will be imposed on all assets (foreign and domestic) in excess of $50 million and a ten percent tax on all assets over $1 billion.

I could go on. Hell, I could spend the next two weeks writing this list and still leave stuff out.

Jerusalem 1913

2011-10-04T10:59:00.000-07:00

Jaffa Gate to the Old City during
the last decade of Ottoman rule.

I have just finished a fascinating book that looks at the Middle East problems by examining Palestine during the final years of the Ottoman Empire.

Jews and Arabs have shared Palestine for generations with Muslims in control (excluding a few years of Crusader rule) from the seventh century. In the middle of the 19th century old Jerusalem was about 45% Muslim, 25% Jewish, and 30% Christian. Jews were less than five percent of all of Palestine.

The rise of Zionism in Europe changed that. By 1881 Jews were a majority in Jerusalem. Jewish settlements were springing up and blooming on land sold by Arabs who thought it worthless desert. As Zionists in Vienna began talking about building a Jewish homeland, Turks and Arabs grew concerned.

Early (1880's) settlers.

The Turks were concerned because the immigrants were not interested becoming Ottoman citizens. The Arabs foresaw a time when they would be driven out of a Palestine they considered their own.

We did not conquer this land from you (Jews). We conquered it from the Byzantines who ruled it then. We do not owe anything to the Jews. ~ Arab leader Ruli Khalidi, 1908

Exacerbating the problem was the Zionists tendency to isolate themselves. In a land where the official language was Turkish and the common tongue was Arabic, the Zionists taught themselves Hebrew. They refused to hire Arab farmhands or integrate themselves with surrounding villages. Many Zionists felt Arabs were a "cancer" on Palestine. Arabs, in turn, called these Jewish immigrants "dogs."

As petty violence between Arabs and Jews grew the Zionist settlements organized self-defense militia. The HaShomer (above) were mercenaries who hired themselves out to settlements that feared nearby Arab villagers.

It began as a simple brawl over the theft of a bunch of grapes. ~ Albert Antebi, Ottoman (non-Zionist) Jewish leader

In 1913, a Jewish settlement guard (probably HaShomer) caught an Arab teamster of eating grapes. Whether the grapes were stolen or from the Arab's own vines is a question that was quickly lost. The incident ended with one Arab dead and several villagers and settlers injured. As news spread conflicts broke out between Arabs and Jews throughout Palestine. 1913 saw the beginning of the Palestine Wars that are still being fought.

Five Arab hung outside the Jaffa Gate in Jerusalem.

But Turks still ruled Palestine and with the outbreak of World War I the Jews and Arabs had a common enemy in Pasha Ahmed Djemal, the governor of Syria and Palestine. Djemal was one of the leaders behind the Armenian Genocide. He was responsible for the deportation of tens of thousands of Jews from Palestine. As for the Arabs, those he would just murder. Any Arab suspected of disloyalty would be hung with the bodies left hanging to rot in the sun. Djemal was assassinated in 1922 in Soviet Georgia, revenge for his crimes against Armenians.

Only now do we get to the era most people know. The Balfour Declaration, the British Mandate, partition, and the State of Israel. But all of that history was defined by the history that occurred in the obscured last decades of Ottoman Palestine.

Occupy Wall Street

2011-10-03T09:11:00.000-07:00

Congress shall make no law respecting...the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition theGovernment for a redress of grievances. ~ US Constitution

The similarities between Occupy Wall Street and Egypt's Tahrir Square revolution go beyond them both being spontaneous, popular uprising against oligarchical rule, although that in and of itself would be sufficient.

There is police violence against peaceful protesters. NYPD didn't use thugs on camels, they employed thugs with pepper spray.
The police are trying mass arrests but there are simply too many people in the streets. (I should note here that the NYPD is spitting on the Constitution.)
The official media are doing their best to censor, ignore, and ridicule the movement yet it continues to grow.
The contagion is spreading to other cities.

I'm not deluded enough to believe this will have any lasting effect. The American oligarchy is far more deeply entrenched than Hosni Mubarak's regime was. Mayor Billionaire (Bloomberg) may have to fill Citi Field with political prisoners but he will restore absolute rule by money.

Rick Perry Jumps the Mexican Shark

2011-10-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

Wow, it didn't take long for Perry to do a Bachmann (say something desperately insane).

In the last GOP debate Perry was insufficiently hateful towards Mexicans so he knew, within that dim receptacle of his mind, he had to say something appropriately violent, something promising to leave Mexicans bleeding in the streets.

Perry is proposing that the US military invade Mexico. This is not a new idea for him. Back when he wanted Texas to secede from the Union Perry was also urging war with Mexico, although in his childlike mind Perry expects the Mexican government to ask to be invaded.

Apparently, the goals would be:

End illegal immigration, because people never flee invasions.
End drug violence because nothing stops violence better than artillery.
End the drug trade, because the US Army has been so successful at that goal in Afghanistan.
Oil!!!!!!!
Annex Baja because...beaches, dude.

Class Warfare and Bank of America

2011-09-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Bank of America is firing a volley in the one percent's continuing war against the rest of us.

BofA is instituting a $5 monthly fee for using a debit card. Of course, the fee will only be applied to regular accounts. Rich people with premium accounts are exempt and may use their debit cards for free. This is in addition to the fees they charge just to hold your money that the rich are also exempt from.

Go Galt, Middle Class, Go Credit Union
The best way to strike back is to withdraw your money and join a credit union. These non-profit coops have volunteer directors elected by depositors, not highly paid boards selected by the richest sloths for the richest sloths.

But, all is not rosy for credit unions. Banks spend millions lobbying for regulations and filing lawsuits to hobble credit unions. Bankers want to restrict their ability to lend to small businesses; you know, those businesses that bankers want the exclusive right to torment, oppress, and bleed white. Bankers are also aggressive in blocking people from joining credit unions.

Then there are companies like this who are dedicated to seducing credit union boards of directors into converting their non-profit credit union into a for profit bank. The seduction is that the directors stand to make millions as depositors ownership of the coop is erased and replaced with investor purchased ownership.

The war on credit unions is part of the one percent's continuing class war on the rest of us.

Update: The Bank of America website crashed today in what is likely a people's uprising against them.

Rick Perry Apologizes

2011-09-28T17:02:00.000-07:00

Rick Perry apologized today to the Republican base for not being the heartless bastard they had wanted.

Sister Sarah and Me

2011-09-28T10:47:00.000-07:00

Freaky deakies need love too. ~ Tracy Jordan, 30Rock*

Yesterday Sarah Palin used the same words to describe Herman Cain as I did two days earlier. I don't know which is worse, the thought that Sister Sarah draws her political inspiration from reading my blog or (and believe me this is infinitely more distressing) that she and I are beginning to think alike.

I'm feeling an urgent need to wash out my brain with a high pressure fire hose.

* Every time I hear this line I understand the strange, forbidden love some people have for Sister Sarah.

Christie: Latest Flavor of the Week

2011-09-27T17:39:00.000-07:00

It appears that New Jersey governor Chris Christie is the favorite to be anointed as the latest Not Mitt for Republicans. Of course, Christie has his own set of problems.

He's fat. Not "large boned" like William Howard Taft but roly-poly, wider than he is tall, Jabba the Hutt, morbidly obese fat. Christie is so excessively porcine he has trouble walking and breathing at the same time.
His principle personality trait is being a pompous ass.
Christie is outspoken and doesn't bother hiding his utter contempt for teachers, police, firefighters (all public employees), the usual collection Republican targets (gays, Muslims, liberals, women, poor folk), Snooki, everybody who doesn't live in New Jersey, and, well, New Jersey too.
Christie is balancing his state's budget by forgetting to pay its debts. It's a trick Charles Ponzi would admire.
He supports wasteful spending if he is the one doing the wasting.
Most New Jerseyites think electing Christie as governor was a big mistake.

Christie won't survive much beyond his first televised debate.

Israel and Palestine

2011-09-26T12:21:00.000-07:00

Jerusalem and the Temple Mount.

I was in high school when I first became aware of Israel. It was 1967, one of my best friends was Jewish and we followed closely the events of the Six Day War. Surrounded by enemies openly declaring the goal to "wipe Israel off the map" and outnumbered more than 10 to one, the war was both heroic and miraculous.

Afterwards I read all I could about Israel. I learned more about the Holocaust than the pablum fed me by high school text books. I read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and Leon Uris' epic novel, Exodus. I read how Mossad captured and brought to justice Adolph Eichmann. I listened to Israeli folk music along with the Beatles. As much as any secular gentile could, I fell in love with the nation of Israel. I still am viscerally in love. Leave out my brain and my gut would support her unconditionally. This is why I ache every time I criticize her, as I often do these days.

One of the reasons I respected Israel was the honor with which they fought which was in sharp contract to how the US Army behaved in Vietnam. Only very much later did I discover that this philosophy had a name, the Purity of Arms, and as a creed predated the State of Israel and was the basic principle of the Haganah and Palmach. All this began is change in 1973.

Yom Kippur War

Sea of Galilee with the Golan Heights in the distance.

The war Israel nearly lost. The surprise attack by Syria and Egypt on the holiest day of the Jewish calendar caught Israel's vaunted military intelligence completely unaware. Egyptian troops crossed the Suez Canal in force while Syrian tanks advance quickly down the Golan Heights and came close to invading Israel proper. Had Jordan joined the conflict rather than warn Israel of the pending attack, a warning Israel choice to ignore, Israel might not had been able to blunt the attack and stage a counterattack.

For the first time since 1948, significant number of Israelis had been captured. While Egypt treated their prisoners well, the Syrians tortured and murdered their captives.

The result of the war was a nervous Israel that was no longer completely certain it could defend itself.

Rise of Likud
Menachem Begin founded Israel's Likud Party in 1973. He also once led the Jewish terrorist group Irgun. Unlike the Haganah, the Irgun never subscribed to the philosophy of Purity of Arms. Begin and his allies believed that any tactic in defense of Israel was valid.

Since the 1930's, the Irgun believed that all territory described as Palestine was rightfully part of the Land of Israel.

The Irgun foresaw modern Jordan in the nation of Israel.

Begin refused to use the term "West Bank" to describe the West Bank. He insisted on the term "Judea and Samaria" which transparently implied the land was properly part of Israel.

Settlements

Israeli settlements

Between the Six Day and Yom Kippur Wars there were only a few Israeli settlements established on the West Bank. All of Jerusalem was annexed in 1967, that made sense because while Jerusalem is one of several Islam holy cities it is the only Jewish holy city. Also a handful of communities that had long predated the formation of the State of Israel were reestablished.

With the rise of Likud Jewish settlements on the West Bank blossomed. Hell, they metastasized. Seventeen percent of the 2.5 million people living on the West Bank are Israeli settlers.

The Wall

Modern Israel has learned two lessons from the horrors of the Nazi Holocaust. Foremost and properly they learned "Never Again." Israel will fight when threatened not just for their national survival but for the survival of the Jewish people.

The other lesson is one nobody should learn, how to treat other people like sub-human animals. Nowhere is that lesson more obvious than in the West Bank Security Fence.

Israel has surrounded the Palestinian population of the West Bank with prison walls. The walls are supposed to reduce the chances of terrorist attacks within Israel and I have no doubt they accomplish that goal. The price is turning Palestine Arabs into a nation of prisoners and turning Israelis into a nation of cruel jailers. While I believe Adolph Eichmann would view the Wall as an eminently practical solution I also believe that David Ben Gurion would be repulsed by the very idea.

The Nazis built a similar wall around the Jewish population of Warsaw.

Conclusion
So where do I stand now? My viscera are steadfast, they support Israel whatever she does. The rest of me is troubled. Israel is no longer the noble Jewish warrior nation. They have attacked the civilian population of Gaza with chemical weapons. They treat Palestinian Arabs like animals, caging them behind high walls. And they have reneged on many of their negotiated deals.

I want to love her but she is making it impossibly difficult. And I can't believe what she is doing will lead to a lasting peace.

Republican Flavor of the Week

2011-09-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

The carousal that is the Republican presidential race is a funny carnival.

There was Michele Bachmann in front as the Great White (hooded) Hope. It didn't take long for people to realize that she was so crazy she made batshit look sane.

Then came Rick Perry. Texan through and through, he had a lock on the nomination until he opened his mouth and couldn't spell cat even if you spotted him the C and T and gave him three shots at the middle letter.

This week's favorite, Herman Cain, has a lot going for him with the Republican base. He has looked back nostalgically on Southern segregation and supports restoring slave wages. Of course, Cain has a subtle flaw for the Republican base. Imagine how they would react if both major parties field black candidates.

The Republican Wing of the Republican Party.

I bet Rick Santorum will get his chance next week. He is whiter than Wonder Bread, an advantage to the base. His plan is to restore American greatness by replicating the economic system of medieval Italy using the philosophies of Niccolò Machiavelli and Cesare Borgia including an Inquisition for those insufficiently Christian.

Behind them all lurks Mitt Romney. Always everyone's third or fourth choice, Mitt is universally loathed. But, he has one advantage over all the other candidates, the base can't hate him any more than it already does.