Sunday, June 16, 2013

Fire Pierre McGuire

NBC's hockey coverage is just fine except for their main "Inside the Glass" guy.

Pierre McGuire, unlike every other color commentator in sports, never played professionally at any level. The most he ever accomplished was two pathetic losing seasons as an NHL and ECHL head coach and a handful of years as an assistant coach, mostly at the college level.

Like every career loser, McGuire spends most of his time whining about how the sport is being unfair. The ice is unfair, the officials are unfair, the rules are unfair.

That last one is particularly annoying. The NHL has a rule that if a player flips the puck out of play from his defensive zone it is a penalty. It's a great rule that keeps the game going at a quick pace and makes for a more exciting game.

McGuire hate the rule because it punishes unskillful play. Like any career loser, McGuire believes the rules should take pity on incompetent hockey players who lack the ability to control the puck when clearing it from danger. He wants the penalty forgiven if the player's actions were "accidental."

That could be forgiven if McGuire were interesting. He is the most boring voice in sports. It is said, accurately, that baseball's Vin Scully can make reading a grocery list sound like Shakespeare (I've heard him do it). McGuire makes a sport as viscerally exciting as ice hockey sound duller than reading the phone book.

Besides the constant whining, McGuire is obsessed with player's resumes. His comments are frequently nothing more than a recitation of names and locations. Where someone played junior hockey and who his coaches were, who his junior line mates were who never made it to the NHL. If McGuire were reading the phone book we would at least get some numbers to dial to alleviate the tedium.


McGuire is an abomination who we will probably be stuck with forever. He is the singular reason I prefer the CBC broadcast whenever I can get it.

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